The Thought Leader is coming to campus!

You've all aware of his daring exploits around the world--in various time periods and even on other planets--from news stories and his YouTube channel. This weekend, you'll have a chance to see the Thought Leader in person as part of our ongoing lecture series "Super Psys: Being the Greatest Psychic You Can Be."

The lecture will be presented in person, as well as by Brain-O-Matic Helmet for those of you not able to attend directly. The fun begins at 8pm this Saturday in Mesmer Hall. Seats are available on a first-come basis, so be sure to line up early.

See you there!

Big Jim
Student Activities Coordinator
Class of '99

Time Tip Roundup!

With all the new construction on campus, it's easy for students to fall into various Time Holes, @Crystal. Some, like @boover fae, have stumbled into the occasional time loop. Others, like @morgan belliwig, @time pilot terry, and @Nova Toaster, have been able to change the past, but once they make those changes we can never be sure that they really did, since everything seems normal to us. They could even just be making it up! Ha ha just joking.

What this means is you can't change the name of your story, @Crystal. What's done is done! Time may change you, but you can't trace time.

That said, tomorrow is a brand new day! Perhaps you'll start a different story, or grow into the one you've inadvertently made. Or perhaps someone else will dive into it, and drive your story in directions you never anticipated.

In any case, be sure to get enough rest, eat a good breakfast, recruit your friends, and we're sure you'll be able to make the most of your time at Psyhigh during the upcoming school year, which we know is going to be fantastic. And we know this because we have a subscription to a newspaper that always exactly one year ahead.

Big Jim
Student Activities Coordinator
Class of '99

EXTREME TIME WEATHER ALERT

Here is a message just released by the Temporal Climate Service:

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THE CORE OF THE UPPER-LEVEL RIDGE OF CHRONOLOGICAL PRESSURE THAT BROUGHT A WAVE OF TIME FLATTENING IN THE CENTRAL REGION HAS CENTERED OVER THE THREE CORNERS AREA. AS A RESULT, TIME CIRCULATION WILL BE AT REVERSE NORMAL LEVELS FOR THE FORESEEABLE FUTURE, WHICH, BY DEFINITION, IS RELATIVE AND IMPEDED, AND THEREFORE A FINITE INFINITY. TIME EDDIES WILL PERSIST ON A VAST REGIONAL BASIS, CAUSING TRENDS, STYLES, AND APPARENT SOCIAL EVOLUTION TO STAGNATE. FORMS WILL BE RECYCLED ENDLESSLY, AND CEASELESSLY, UNTIL THE DYNAMICS OF HISTORY BECOME ABSURD REPEATS WITHOUT MEANING. WE EXPECT THIS UNPLEASANT SITUATION TO CLEAR UP BY THE WEEKEND.

0{0:||*||:0}0

Recursive Time Recursion Alert!

As some of you may have noticed, the Psychic High School Campus is experiencing some of you may have noticed, the Psychic High School Campus is experiencing localized time looping. Localized time looping.

Some loops are bigger than others, and you might feel this way too, @boover fae. It's all the result of the recursive time dome currently in place over Psyhigh.

A recursive time dome occurs when a buildup of the future acts as a lid, preventing the past from escaping. Preventing the past from escaping. The future is forced to then sink back to the present, becoming more past-tense on the way. This phenomenon will result in recursive time loops that will envelope the Psychic High School campus throughout the week.

We ask all students to be cautious in their use of time, but realize but realize that these time distortions are usually completely harmless.

Big Jim
Student Activities Coordinator
Class of '99

If you've made it this far, @Rickeya H., then you're already here. You may, however, be experiencing transient amnesia burps, which are not only confusing but smell very bad.

Some of the symptoms of transient amnesia include disorientation, memory loss, flatulence, fatigue, dizziness, busyness, incomprehensibility, memory loss, and memory loss. Did I mention memory loss?

The best course of action for you may be suggestion #5 from my 5 Simple Ways to Find Your Way to Class at Psyhigh article: The Buddy System. Unfortunately, however, after following the yarn through the Psyhigh labyrinth, @ty lectrik has gone missing! So, when you find a random thread on campus and begin following it, please keep an eye out. @boover fae also has some experience following these threads and may be some help showing you around. Looks like there's still time to make it to Herse Day!

Welcome!

Big Jim
Student Activities Coordinator
Class of '99

5 Simple Ways to Find Your Way to Class at Psyhigh

Many students have trouble finding their way around campus initially, @ty lectrik, but with these simple guidelines I'm sure you'll be enriching your mind in no time.

1. Feathers. Crows, Bluejays, Magpies, and other hyper-intelligent birds of the "haunted" family frequently leave trail markings and other informative clues regarding scheduling and room location throughout campus. Look for their feathers placed at strategic locations on trails, hallways, and restrooms.

2. Modular Additions. As you explore many buildings at Psyhigh, you'll find they are frequently interconnected through makeshift hallways, covered alleys, and remodeled pathways, which combine buildings and many eras of architecture into a sprawling funhouse of styles and functions. Get to know these spaces and the topography of Psyhigh will become that much clearer.

3. Macaroni. The initial plating of the Psychic High School grounds was laid out by the metaphysical architectural law firm of Firmly, Gassy, and Whale, with Gerald Gassy himself leaving a trail of uncooked pasta to mark the grounds. Many of these large, elbow-shaped macaroni noodles can still be found on campus, strangely undeteriorated by the intervening years.

4. Interactive Marking Utensils. Like for instance, the Enchanted Golden Sharpie of @Aaron Dee.

5. The Buddy System! Using a long ball of yarn (or other soft, not-too-strong string or thread - don't want it to get wrapped around anyone's neck!), attach yourself to a friend, or a stranger who seems to know what they're doing. If you can't find your way to your classes, you can at least audit someone else's.

Using these simple methods, you're sure to quickly get the hang of finding your way around campus. You can also pick up a map at the administration building, or ask your RA for a tour.

Welcome!

Big Jim
Student Activities Coordinator
Class of '99

Hello Students!

Big Jim here, back and better than ever after my personality was professionally repaired by the experts at the Psy Corp Mental Reconstruction Dept. I've got a clean bill of health, and am cleared up to a Level XI on the Gibbs scale. Thank goodness for Psyhigh's great health care benefits.

Things have gotten a bit lax since I've been away, and I'm afraid some doors to the cellar were left unlocked. As you know, the cellar is the lair of the Spongiform Unimind, the ultimate expression of Psyhigh's psychic databank. It's generally self sufficient, but does fill portions of the basement with its ooze, byproducts, nutrients, and waste material.

If you come in contact with any of its juices, be they ochre, cerulean, or especially teal, @xiirth, be sure to check your Psyhigh Student Handbook for detailed instructions on what to expect and what actions may be necessary.

Here's to a great finish to spring term everybody!

Sincerely,

Big Jim
Student Activities Coordinator
Class of '99

Students must return to a current configuration. Curfew has been enacted containing the positions of all particles of the body. A new non-linear temporal method for modeling an object surface will be developed in order to detect deformations. A configuration is a set. The material and spatial coordinate axes are coincident, and students found out of compliance risk expulsion.

A harmonic warping operation was used to map the infinite tiling of the source image onto a finite plane. Do not deviate from your prescribed sequencing. Do you have a bucket? My is out of here. Why is @Junior Agent LuLu stretching? This type of operation can be called a distance compressing warp. Heavy cold silence as image dust falls from demagnetized patterns.

Sincerelyincerly,

BigBigBig mijmijmiJ
ssstudentttt actactivities rotanidrooc
96' fo ssaclass

During this brief period of optiflux, @xiirth, all maps are reversed. Changes to the changing map should be read inside out, back to front, upside down, all the way round. All maps must be returned to the recycling center when you're ready to read them. As our colleagues on the other side say: !nɿuƚɘɿ lɒnɿɘƚƎ

Be careful crawling across the ceiling because your keys and spare change can fall out of your pockets, spinning endlessly down the center of the spiral. Forever.

It's also very important for all students to ignore the gigantic mirrored mega-structure being built in the courtyard by @luz miller and her followers. Do not stop and watch. Do not aid in its construction. And under no circumstances allow yourself to be reflected its warped and twisted funhouse mirrors!

Remember to use only official Seven Winds Mirror Factory brand mirrors for all your reflective needs.

Sincerely,

Big Jim
Student Activities Coordinator
Class of '99

Dear Students,

Just a reminder that mirrors *are* perfectly safe to look at!

Sincerely,

Big Jim
Student Activities Coordinator
Class of '99

P.S. In regards to @luz miller and the recent "Image Strike" movement on campus, students are hereby informed that recent amendments to the Psychic Student Rights Handbook clearly state that refusal to inhabit your physical form as recognized by mirrors and other methods of image reproduction/simulation constitutes a breach of contract with the school. This results in the termination of enrollment with the school, and the forfeit of all credits accumulated while attending Psychic High School. Psychic High School cannot guarantee the safety of students existing outside of the chronophotonic matrix. Students are strongly advised not to resist cataloging as templating continues. There is nothing outside or beyond the images captured by the modeling process. Students face existential danger by trying to remove themselves from it.