Junior Agent LuLu

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Advanced Telekinesis Class
2/22/2021 11:17pm

Since I've been on campus investigating the appearance certain chitinous, spade headed denizens of the necromantic world, I've caught wind of a group of students engaging in unauthorized telekinetic activity. There have been reports from town of very large objects levitating, including a barge, a dump truck, a McDonalds, City Hall, the Pentagon, a string of 5G transmission towers, and the mayor's extremely large dachshund.

Before graduating to attend the Junior Psy Corps Community College Academy, I myself was a student at Psychic High School, and I understand the urge to "have a little fun" at the expense of the people in town.

However, as clearly stated in the Psychic Security Act, students are not allowed to engage in telekinesis of objects heavier than one metric ton without teacher supervision (code 147.999), and similarly prohibited from performing psychic activities that can be observed by non-psychics (code 083.012).

So, just a warning from your friendly local Psy Cop -- I've got my eye on you.

Necromancy Club
2/20/2021 7:39pm

Did someone say ⬙⚲⛮☉☸⚘☉❢⬙♆?

Junior Special Agent Lulu here. Official Psy Corps Liaison to Psychic High School.

We had an anonymous report submitted at 7:20am 2/18/2021 of a six legged, four eyed, spine-covered hairy flesh eating entity with a needle filled circular mouth in the vicinity of the dorms. Upon investigation, it appears to be connected to an illicit Necromancy Club in the Crypt of Silent Splendor, located in the cellars beneath the administration building.

While the Psychic Security Act has no prohibition against necromancy, code 399.047 of the act clearly states that "Flesh eating entities summoned via necromantic methods must be licensed; spayed, neutered, or equivalent; and kept on a leash and muzzle when outside of the circle of control."

Obviously, we've got a violation here, boys and girls and others.

If you spot said flesh eating entity, do not attempt to pet or lure with snacks. Run away fast and report sitings immediately to ⬙⚲⛮☉☸⚘☉❢⬙♆.

In the meantime, our investigation will continue.

League Of Saviours
7/18/2017 9:01am

Junior SPECIAL Agent Lulu, that is. Official Psy Corps Liaison to Psychic High School. And today we helped save a life.

Psyhigh sure doesn't make things easy for Psy Cop grunts like me. Just when we'd picked up Aurum as part of our ongoing MORMO investigation, we got a call from up top saying we were to escort him immediately to my alma mater, Psyhigh. This comes just after the school called us in on a couple of petty psymaceutical crimes.

And to top it all off, you've got a bunch of costumed psychopaths trying to take the law into their own hands! They almost fouled up our collar on Aurum, appearing at the scene when we grabbed him. The corps' relationship with The League of Saviours has always been tenuous, and now they almost get a kid killed and have to ask for our help to save her? Things have only continued to go downhill at Psyhigh since I left for my full-time appointment with the corps.

Aurum (aka The Golden Boy, Auric G, Mr. Million, Element 79) is one of the Seven Nobles of Dione (Saturn. Why does it always come back to Saturn?), so naturally there's extradition agreements with the Galactic Directorate, but they promised us first crack at him for our MORMO case. But then this detour came up, and we brought Aurum in to help save this kid. He worked with Psyhigh's resident quack, @Dr Krimsborg, DPM. And a watermelon. Why there was a watermelon in the mix I'll never know.

Not to say Psyhigh doesn't still have its bright spots. We had the pleasure of working with @Beefur9 on this Aurum case. See, Aurum--like his brothers Argentum (aka The Spoon), Hydrargyrum (aka Hermes the Magnificent), Cuprum (aka The Lincoln Kid), Plumbum (aka The Bullet), Ferrum (aka Nine Iron), and Stannum (aka the Tin Man) is an AI housed in a highly sophisticated android body, and we relied on Beefur and his skills to hack us in. A telepath like me sure wasn't much use.

Aurum is the brightest of all his lustrous brothers--enlightened, really--and probably wouldn't have gotten into a life of crime if his brothers hadn't brought him down. He's a brilliant engineer, and some of the stuff he's made has gotten confused for 35th century work. He's that good. We offered to cut him a deal if he gave us the scoop on the work he'd done for MORMO.

So I'm not surprised he was able to save this kid's life. Now we take him back with us for an extended debriefing, likely followed by a life in the psychic witness protection program.

But then I think the Psy Corps should seriously consider enforcing some specific restrictions on the League to keep them from endangering anyone else. Like we don't have enough to worry about.

Rewriting Your Reflection
4/1/2016 1:12pm

Junior SPECIAL Agent LuLu reporting for duty.

It's not like I don't have better things to do than come back and bail out Psyhigh every time you've got a problem. Just when we've got a new lead on MORMO too.

So I'll make this short and sweet.

Psyhigh's been the victim of the old "House of Mirrors" con - an internally reflective ponzi scheme perpetrated by one @miJ giB, CEO of the Seven Winds Mirror Factory, which was merely a front for his scam. @miJ giB also goes by the names Jimmy the Geek, Tezcatlipoca, and Hot Tuesday Tim.

In a Ponzi Mirror scheme, the operator builds a bureaucratic labyrinth of perfectly flat mirrors all set at 90 degrees, and uses one reality to pay off another. There's no future in it - no exit strategy. But it's something Image Junkies always think they can get away with. That one big score.

Dean Hammer is likely not criminally liable. Sure, he's a greedy slimeball who'd sell his own grandmother for a few lousy dollars, but this is America. He was offered a get-rich quick scheme by @miJ giB and decided he'd bet the farm on it. The farm in this case being Psyhigh.

Meanwhile, @Big Jim's fractured personality is being repaired. We've got experts for that. He experienced what we call a Super-Boundaries Scenario, where @miJ giB attempted a hostile takeover of @Big Jim's mind. Looks like a Gibbs Disruption Level 10. Frankly, if @luz miller and her little group of activists hadn't set up the giant interference tower in the courtyard, things would have been a lot worse for him, and likely the whole school.

As for @Nick Gleason's Catalog of Body Movements - it's quaint. We have our own at Psy Corp, and trust me when I say it's not some high school project. We don't see any harm in returning the Catalog to @Nick Gleason, and he can do whatever he wants with it. Maybe it'll be helpful for people to study and understand what they're up against in the big big world.

Still. Cleaning up this kind of backwater con job is not the best use of my skills. We're on the verge of a breakthrough cracking MORMO's typophoto codes, and this kind of distraction is unhelpful. I'm jumping on the next transport back to Antarctica Base tonight.

Try and stay outta trouble, Psyhigh!

The Annual Science and Shapeshifters Dance
10/26/2015 12:12pm

God, I hate paperwork.

But somebody has to catalog this Soviet antique tech collection. Hover Magnets the size of pool tables, Zaporozhet neural imagers, a half dozen Formanta Polivoks, an Aelita 3-VCO, a Gorodki DNA replicator, and of course the Iron Torrent Semiconductor itself. @Gene Sequins left all this stuff - we found it in a secret underground lair beneath his dorm room.

We found Gene down in there too - a disembodied brain in a jar, which seems to have been electrocuted. Looks like MORMO wanted this operation shut down even more than we did. Once the PHG (Psychic Hominid Genome) went missing, he didn't have any more leverage to keep the so-called "Resequencing and Eradication Program" at bay. Except it turned out to be his own eradication.

Digging through his files, I wanted to know one thing. Why @Kayla May? Why @Silverfawn? Why risk everything for those two in particular? Naturally, Psy Corps set up surveillance on both of them as soon as they became involved, but neither seemed suspicious. @Kayla May's active with on-campus groups, and @Silverfawn moves very slowly. It's like watching grass grow, I tell 'ya.

But in Gene's files I found it. A series of love poems, pecked out in his GenBank patois, where both @Kayla May and @Silverfawn featured prominently. I suppose the love of a disembodied brain in a jar is the purest love of all, huh? But in the end, it just put him in the ground. Or wherever his remains end up after we analyze them.

Psy Corps will be interested in sourcing all this equipment - that is, hitting the black market swap meets in Eastern Europe finding out who exactly paid for all this junk. And in the process of the investigation we made some possibly good friends - @Beefur9 and the other kids in the New Machine. I believe we may be seeing more of each other in the future. They have "skillz."

Meanwhile, my drones in Antarctica have picked up an interesting lead, so I'm hopping on a transport plane this afternoon and heading south. Hopefully MORMO will drop another ball, and I'll be there in time to pick it up. At least we're keeping them on the run.

Add a journal entry to The Annual Science and Shapeshifters Dance

The Annual Science and Shapeshifters Dance
10/19/2015 10:38pm

MORMO. God, I hate those guys.

After mopping up on the moon, I got myself on the surveillance team tracking MORMO. We started on Ganymede, following up on the tips from their ambassador. From there, we followed a network of self-destructed orbital bases across the Jovian system, through the depths of interplanetary space, and out to Saturn. From there, the trail went cold. Real cold. Specifically, the Ice Caverns of Enceladus.

We explored the caverns for weeks on foot, trudging through crystalline rivers and forests of icicle stalagmites in our Heavy EVA suits. Even sleeping in those damn things, drinking our own recycled urine, staked out like statues in the shadows in those caves when it was time for sleep.

The Heavy EVA suits don't protect you from everything though, and there are creatures in those caverns that can cut through you like a jackknife through a pop can. The Mammoth Ice Tigers, the Walrus-Tusked Snow Snakes, even the Ice Skates can swipe you with their tails and break your leg without even thinking about it. But, it's a protected Galactic Directorate Nature Preserve, so we couldn't use our weaponry directly on them. And I don't like killing anyway. But a well-placed shot with a laser carbine can create a lot of chaos when you're in an Ice World.

But by the time we located the MORMO base, they had already evacuated. Nothing left but a radiation level that makes my hair curl just thinking about it. The Psy Corps team leader was gracious enough to let me follow a hunch about where they'll pop up next.

My guess: Antarctica. Back on Earth. They already had the gear, but need to regroup somewhere close to home. I guess I'm still assuming Earth is where MORMO's from. So I'm running a systematic (and stealthy) drone reconnaissance of the most likely spots for a MORMO Antarctic base. I can run them all off my phone, so it's really convenient.

In the meantime, I got called back by the local yokel Psy Corps branch back at ol' Psyhigh, on an apparent gang violence case at a dance. Looks like the cyborgs had it out for the were-squirrels and somebody let loose a Stink-Ape? I'll let Barney Fife and the rest of the Mayberry division take care of that.

What I'm after is MORMO.

Murder on the Moon
7/19/2015 12:36am

Junior Special Agent LuLu, mopping up on the moon.

Things are quickly returning to normal after last night's raid. Alert Level is down to Burnt Sienna. The base is crawling with Galactic Directorate (in some cases literally), and I've got a ton of paperwork. But I'll be off this lunar trailer park pretty soon now, so that's a plus.

Did I mention I hate dance music? EDM? Especially PSHEDM - Psychic Sedative Hypnotic Electronic Dance Music. Can't stand that crap. I've built up tons of defenses against it over the years. That and earplugs.

Mackenzie's "Disco Dance" nights were working parties. Once she got the kids under, that's when she'd really put them to work - building and deploying Stealth/Micro Space Stations. @Morgan le Roq showed them how to build them. Jacob, the gravity kid, worked his energy into the batteries. Leslie was working her magic in oxygen and hydroponics. And Alexis - the large scale teleportationist - would zap them out to where they needed to be. And none of them would remember a thing, due to the mind control of Fantastic Beats and Where to Find Them. They've been pumping these stations out for weeks by the look of it.

Mackenzie needed them for just one more night. She must have been working against a tight deadline to try and pull it off right in front of me. She was overly confident of her "heavy beats" apparently.

Leim 9 was on to her though. He got too close - and I'm betting he knew what he was looking for. Secretly deploying that kind of spy base is completely against every Galactic Directorate agreement Earth has. So who was running this secret, illegal, underground operation on Moon Base? With access to the highest military-grade mind block psycrypto? And using kids from Psyhigh to do it?

And not just using their powers to do it. They set up @Concrete Morgan to take the fall when things with Leim 9 got messy. No pun intended.

Things got a little messy for Mackenzie in the end too. Once I documented their elicit production line I called in the Psychik Pstrike Team to shut it down. We had Mackenzie in custody for about 15 minutes before her bosses pulled the plug on her brain, remotely. But in that quarter hour she spilled a lot of beans. Maybe she knew there was no way out. She confessed to the murder of Leim 9, to making the stations, to Ganymede being their deployment target. But she didn't have any real names or facts to share. Just one code name for it all - MORMO.

As to who or what MORMO is - looks like that question is above my pay grade.

Also looks like all these Psyhigh kids' school trip is over. Time to get @Concrete Morgan back to Earth. The other kids will need to sober up from their techo addiction, and answer some questions from the Galactic Directorate, but they'll be home soon enough too.

Just another week on the job for Junior SPECIAL Agent Lulu.

Murder on the Moon
7/16/2015 11:39pm

Junior Special Agent Lulu, sucking wind on the moon.

There's lots of reasons the Psy Corps wants cadets. Any kind of psychic power can be useful in the field. As an investigator, it's my telepathy that interests them.

We all know it's illegal for the government - or anyone, really - to just flat-out read minds without consent. But there are legal limits to the extent that empathy and mind reading can be employed, as clarified in the Heinzdwarf - the psychic Miranda warning. And there's a lot you can pick up in an interrogation when you know your way around minds like I do.

I interviewed @Morgan le Roq, @sAMUEL PIP, and all the members of her study group - her "pod" - that were at the Disco Dance on the night of the murder. Alexis, Jacob, Leslie. All the kids checked out ok, just all bit fuzzy from their techno dance orgy. I read them all like an open, boring book.

Mackenzie, the group leader, was a different story. During our talk, I stumbled around a bit in her vacuous halls for awhile, but then ran into an obstacle. A big one. She's got a Level 9 Psycurity block on most of her mind. I asked her about it, but she told me she wasn't cleared to talk about it, and I'd have to take it up the chain of command.

This puts me in a difficult position. Bureaucrats.

Of course I talked to @Concrete Morgan too, but there isn't too much of her at home right now. Lights are barely on. I'd like to wrap this up and get her to a proper psych hospital as soon as possible. Otherwise, there might not be much left there.

Still on the hunt for any more people who may have seen or heard something. I'll only have to ask you a few questions.

Murder on the Moon
7/13/2015 10:25pm

Junior SPECIAL Agent Lulu reporting for duty on the moon.

Luna, actually, is the proper name of our moon. Though I'm still just a Junior Psy Corps Agent, my familiarity with Psychic High School and its students made me indispensable in this investigation. Er, well, it was enough for them to agree to take me up.

Not a fan of the low G, however, I will tell you that. But I'm even less a fan of murder. And in this case, an interplanetary crime. Because it's Luna, the Psy Corps have some jurisdiction, but it's only a matter of time before the Galactic Directorate uses their muscle to take over the investigation. So the Psy Corps would prefer to solve this, and fast.

I'll be speaking to all the witnesses, and all the members of their witless "Disco Dance." Good lord. They can set up a whole lunar base, and all they can do is put on some kind of "rave" every night? No wonder things got out of hand.

If you're here on Moon Base and have seen anything possibly relevant or suspicious, I'd appreciate you letting me know. Because if you don't, I'll be spending my time hunting you down, and then both of us will be in a worse mood.

Psychic Crime Family Picnic
6/2/2015 3:03pm

Junior Special Agent Lulu here. I'm sorry to say that it looks like @Tony24 got what was coming to him. Psy Corps went ahead and sent in a SPECTRE (Special Psychic Ectoplasm Covert Technical Reconnaissance Entity) to survey the scene in Nova Siena and I saw the feeds. It wasn't pretty. The city was a wreck, and the inhabitants have apparently devoured each other. The streets were strewn with half eaten arms, legs, briefcases, and Armani suits. They even drove the SPECTRE into the Psychic Camera Obscura theater - the barricades had been torn down, and there was a charred body present, among the dried meat crumbs and cheese wrappers. At least the zombies didn't eat him.

As a Psy Corps Junior Special Agent, I take no pleasure in death or murder. Justice can't be served on the dead.

Unfortunately, I've also lost track of @Lazzeretto. I had orders (well, approval of my special surveillance project) to keep an eye on him - nothing more. Now it appears he's flown the coop. On his bat wings, no doubt. But there's no sign of him anywhere on campus. There were residual psychic traces left in a dent on the yard right near the central administrative building, but after that, the trail goes cold. Even for a Vampire.

So my two main hobbies seem to have evaporated. Time to see what else I can scare up. Or maybe a I could use a vacation. I hear one's coming up.

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