The Debiliteen & I go out lookin to raise Hex at these nitrous funnycar jams we r always late because we don hav a car. Sometime we see the kids drivin by raisin dust but they won't stop and pic us up on account of The Debiliteen's reputation

I threw up in the back of the Funnyman’s car. Too much nitrous, and the windows are so dark and the music so loud. Gravity fluctuations.

I kept most of it off the carpet. We went to a car wash in the middle of the night and washed off the mat. I haven’t exactly been invited back.

Cruising at night with the Nitrous Funnyman you feel totally safe, nuzzled in the imitation leather cockpit on the passenger side, the smooth contours faintly glowing in the dark from the dashboard lights, the altimeter, the nitrous injection governor, and of course the EQ and the music he's pumping out, it's like nothing could ever hurt you, you're impervious, commanding the universe to bend around you at light speed, cool AC gently blowing. You know it's just temporary but you want it to last forever.

I'm too much of a noob to go anywhere near the Psychic Nitrous Funny Car meetup. Lance and I got chased home by some of those guys. Would have gotten beat up too if Lance hadn't created illusionary ghost versions of his parents to show up. Which is kind of embarrassing which is why I don't usually share that part of the story.

Psychic Driver Ed and the Nitrous Funnyman go way back. Used to be best friends at Psyhigh class of ‘84. It was the nitrous accident made the Funnyman go insane. Part of why Ed dedicated himself to teaching. Felt pretty bad about the Funnyman having to spend time is psychic prison and the role he played. Doesn’t seem to have much faith in the Funnyman being reformed and all though.

We’re calling him the Nitrous Funnyman but we’re just taking a guess on the gender. All you can see inside the tinted windows is bilious black smoke, roiling like custom bowling ball. And we get real close sticking our noses right up to the windows as he revs his engine and burns rubber in place and you can feel time slowing down when you’re near it. We don’t even race anymore everybody just shows up to get the feels from the Nitrous Funnyman.

Driving home from Alex's house took 22 hours, subjective, even though it's only halfway across town. Had to trade off driving in shifts so each of us could sleep, which was made harder because Teemo can't really drive a stick. Got home before curfew, but yeah these gravity fluctuations are off the scale, @Traeger T.

And what’s up with these gravity fluctuations? They said if you go fast enough you can’t feel them, but potholes are still giving me a problem.

There's a dark character been showing up at the Psychic Nitrous Funny Car meetups who isn't funny at all. Tinted windows, all rolled up, inside filled with billowing smoke. Revs his engine the whole time. Big rear tires makes him hunched up like a giant house centipede. Hasn't raced yet, just shows up and glowers. But when he comes and goes he's in and out like a flash. Literally.

The trick is to keep the destination in your subconscious, @Traeger T. The distraction of the exercise is meant to make you forget the intended target of the drive and arrive at the location your heart's desire. Maybe you just really like the Tri-cities?