Dear Jasper,

Oh dear! Yes, please seek help immediately from Ms. Vasquez, Seer of Sees, Healer of Visions, acclaimed by the Crowned Heads of Europe, in her trailer at the edge of campus.


Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator

Welcome to all new and returning students!

We hope the reality disruptions of the summer have been fully erased from everyone's memory and there will be no more talk about the giant Space Ark. It's time to settle in to a new school year, focus on our studies, and maybe make a few new friends along the way.

So why not take a moment to introduce yourself? Let us know a little bit about your background, what you're looking forward to this year, and your visions of the future! Unless, of course, telling us your visions of the future will contaminate the timeline in such a way that that future will never come to exist. Well, I mean, unless it's a really terrible future, in which case you should try and prevent it from happening.

Psyhigh supports and promotes an inclusive environment, and students who do not register for this electronic roll call will be viewed very suspiciously for their lack of performative enthusiasm.


Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator

What is it with the weather these days? Well, science tells us that humans themselves are responsible for a great deal of it. However, our data shows that some of our students may be playing an outsized role in the creating these cataclysmic events.

It's nothing to be ashamed of! If you feel your own overconsumption, resource depletion, negative energy, exuberant energy, misunderstood passion, or any other psychometric traits may be resulting in meteorological effects affecting our community, please let us know here. Or visit the school nurse immediately, who has containment chambers prepped and ready.

Or maybe it's your roommate? Or that odd person in the back of your chemistry class that gives you the creeps? Let us know about them too! After all, Psyhigh is really just one big family, and only rarely is it necessary to incarcerate students for their own good in psychic Faraday cages. That's all part of Psyhigh Spirit!

So, let us know today, as soon as you can, and maybe this insane weather will cease and I can finally get a picnic in with that still dashing but now more realistically romanticized @Seketus Reed. And these thunderstorms have become an all-to-convenient excuse to postpone.


Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator

Summer session has started and we're taking time to get to know all the new faces around campus, as well as some of the older faces, and even some of the incredibly ancient faces you don't even realize are faces until their eyes suddenly pop open and they're staring at YOU.

So tell us a little bit about who you are, where you've been, what's brought you to Psychic High School, your hopes, your dreams, your fears, your pronouns or special atmospheric or dietary requirements. It's a no judgement zone here! Unless, that is, you confess to psychic crimes you're still liable for.

You can call me Ms. Hazeltine, Student Activities Coordinator. I took over from the school's previous Student Activities Coordinator @Big Jim, whose mysterious disappearance was never solved... I also have a very warm and loving and completely grownup and mature relationship with the incredibly dashing psychic spelunker and adventurer @Seketus Reed. At least this week.


Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator

Psychic waste is being removed from beneath the school's egregore now, and being deposited in large open containers behind the gym.

These containers are clearly labeled “PSYCHIC TOXIC WASTE” and students are warned not to gather any of this material into mason jars for keepsakes or resale. Collection of psychic toxic waste by students will result in serious disciplinary action.

Only trained technicians are qualified to handle psychic toxic waste. The removal of these accretions is central to solving the perception problems currently being experienced by Psychic High School staff and students and those who perceive them.

I feel we should have our own container specifically dedicated to @Seketus Reed, but the engineers assure me it "doesn't work like that." But still.


Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator

Students may be experiencing interrupted sleep due to strange bumps, jolts, jostles, fears, hijinks, sudden feelings of falling, and/or discombobulation.

Do not be alarmed!

These are merely side effects of the work being done by technicians beneath the school's egregore, which involves disrupting certain clusters of existential complex accretion in the mental plane.

It's like having your teeth cleaned. In your deep unconscious. Just sit back and relax.

Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator

Students experiencing symptoms of perceptual distortion, including but not limited to Micropsia; Macropsia; Teleopsia; Pelopsia; Dysmorphopsia; Metamorphopsia; Palinopsia; Photopsia; and/or Gustatory, Olfactory, or Auditory hallucinations; are asked to report to the school nurse immediately.

You know who has a big perception problem, it's @Seketus Reed, who still thinks we have something resembling a "relationship." This time, he cancelled on our trip to the Psychic Space Station because of an "opportunity" to explore the Caverns of Xibalba. The only thing I know for sure is her name isn't Xibalba.


Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator

There are still slots available for the Psychic Space Station study abroad program starting in just a few days! And by "slots" I mean literal tubes for you to sleep in on the Psychic Space Station. But there's plenty to do onboard when you're not having your dreams monitored.

Students will receive full credit for their time spent learning on the Psychic Space Station, and it's an excellent opportunity to meet and mingle with the best and the brightest from all the Psychic High School branches worldwide, and beyond.

I myself may be making an appearance on the station later in the month, as @Seketus Reed and I are tentatively planning a reconciliation rendezvous in the Eros suite on the promenade deck. IF Seketus can work it into his oh-so-busy schedule.


Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator

It's my pleasure to announce this year's Valentine's Day Dance! It's always such an important time of year to reflect on those we love, or hope to love, or, in the case of my own relationship with that two-faced lying sack of rocks @Seketus Reed, perhaps a time of reconciliation should he truly and fully apologize and come to terms with his mistakes. And bring the right gifts.

The Psyhigh Student Council is no doubt preparing a humdinger of a dance for us, complete with all the requisite decorations, snacks, beverages, and musical guest, accompanied by the appropriate offerings and sacrifices to the appropriate gods of love. Can't wait. Sigh.

Looking forward seeing everyone next Tuesday! Especially you, Seketus.


Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator

It is my duty to remind all students that betting on the outcome of Mipi battles is prohibited by school policy, and students found betting on Mipi battles risk expulsion, memory erasure, and psychic community service.

Organized Mipi battle betting rings may seem harmless, but after you lose your lunch money, what's next? Your new sweater, your psiPhone, your friend's parent's new car...

Psychic crimelords have been known to use Mipi gambling debts as leverage to force students to use their powers for nefarious purposes, and only the school is allowed to do that.

So, play it safe -- never bet on a Mipi battle!

Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator