This month we're taking time to get to know all the new faces around campus, as well as some of the older faces, and even some of the incredibly ancient faces you don't even realize are faces until their eyes suddenly pop open and they're staring at YOU.

So tell us a little bit about who you are, where you've been, what's brought you to Psychic High School, your hopes, your dreams, your fears, your pronouns or special atmospheric or dietary requirements. It's a no judgement zone here! Unless, that is, you confess to psychic crimes you're still liable for.

You can call me Ms. Hazeltine, Student Activities Coordinator. I took over from the school's previous Student Activities Coordinator @Big Jim, whose mysterious disappearance was never solved... I also have a very warm and loving and completely grownup and mature relationship with the incredibly dashing psychic spelunker and adventurer @Seketus Reed. At least this week.


Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator

Psychic waste is being removed from beneath the school's egregore now, and being deposited in large open containers behind the gym.

These containers are clearly labeled “PSYCHIC TOXIC WASTE” and students are warned not to gather any of this material into mason jars for keepsakes or resale. Collection of psychic toxic waste by students will result in serious disciplinary action.

Only trained technicians are qualified to handle psychic toxic waste. The removal of these accretions is central to solving the perception problems currently being experienced by Psychic High School staff and students and those who perceive them.

I feel we should have our own container specifically dedicated to @Seketus Reed, but the engineers assure me it "doesn't work like that." But still.


Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator

Students may be experiencing interrupted sleep due to strange bumps, jolts, jostles, fears, hijinks, sudden feelings of falling, and/or discombobulation.

Do not be alarmed!

These are merely side effects of the work being done by technicians beneath the school's egregore, which involves disrupting certain clusters of existential complex accretion in the mental plane.

It's like having your teeth cleaned. In your deep unconscious. Just sit back and relax.

Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator

Students experiencing symptoms of perceptual distortion, including but not limited to Micropsia; Macropsia; Teleopsia; Pelopsia; Dysmorphopsia; Metamorphopsia; Palinopsia; Photopsia; and/or Gustatory, Olfactory, or Auditory hallucinations; are asked to report to the school nurse immediately.

You know who has a big perception problem, it's @Seketus Reed, who still thinks we have something resembling a "relationship." This time, he cancelled on our trip to the Psychic Space Station because of an "opportunity" to explore the Caverns of Xibalba. The only thing I know for sure is her name isn't Xibalba.


Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator

There are still slots available for the Psychic Space Station study abroad program starting in just a few days! And by "slots" I mean literal tubes for you to sleep in on the Psychic Space Station. But there's plenty to do onboard when you're not having your dreams monitored.

Students will receive full credit for their time spent learning on the Psychic Space Station, and it's an excellent opportunity to meet and mingle with the best and the brightest from all the Psychic High School branches worldwide, and beyond.

I myself may be making an appearance on the station later in the month, as @Seketus Reed and I are tentatively planning a reconciliation rendezvous in the Eros suite on the promenade deck. IF Seketus can work it into his oh-so-busy schedule.


Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator

It's my pleasure to announce this year's Valentine's Day Dance! It's always such an important time of year to reflect on those we love, or hope to love, or, in the case of my own relationship with that two-faced lying sack of rocks @Seketus Reed, perhaps a time of reconciliation should he truly and fully apologize and come to terms with his mistakes. And bring the right gifts.

The Psyhigh Student Council is no doubt preparing a humdinger of a dance for us, complete with all the requisite decorations, snacks, beverages, and musical guest, accompanied by the appropriate offerings and sacrifices to the appropriate gods of love. Can't wait. Sigh.

Looking forward seeing everyone next Tuesday! Especially you, Seketus.


Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator

It is my duty to remind all students that betting on the outcome of Mipi battles is prohibited by school policy, and students found betting on Mipi battles risk expulsion, memory erasure, and psychic community service.

Organized Mipi battle betting rings may seem harmless, but after you lose your lunch money, what's next? Your new sweater, your psiPhone, your friend's parent's new car...

Psychic crimelords have been known to use Mipi gambling debts as leverage to force students to use their powers for nefarious purposes, and only the school is allowed to do that.

So, play it safe -- never bet on a Mipi battle!

Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator

Well, thank goodness that the problem with the Solstice Machinery has been resolved, though it is with great regret that my solstice vacation with that dashing @Seketus Reed had to be entirely cancelled!

The school is very proud that the unique qualifications of Psyhigh freshman @Logan Andrew Tyler were instrumental in giving the Time Gears the boost they needed to get humming along for another year. And the Druids of Tinkery™ensure us his safe reinstantiation again, as soon as their busy ritual schedule allows.

@Seketus Reed left early to claim the room at the highly romantic caverns of Glar-Oc-Nye, but--including travel time and the date I need to be back at work--we agreed it just doesn't make sense for me to make the trip at this time. I also must have the wrong room number for him because when I call it there's a strange woman on the other end of the phone. It's a little disconcerting but I'm sure he's fine and it's just a simple mix up.

Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator

I am sorry to say that the Solstice Maintenance has not been completed on schedule. Especially sorry because this means delaying my solstice holiday trip with @Seketus Reed to the deep, dark, and highly romantic caverns of Glar-Oc-Nye, as featured on "Cave Fiancé." Sketus was an advisor on that show and gets an amazing discount on their Stalagmite Suite whenever he wants it.

As repair and upgrades to the Gears of Tomorrow continue, you may continue to experience mild disruptions in service, like the sudden disappearance of branded objects, corporate franchises, and marketecture; the invasion of maddening, gibbering thoughts; lost time; and time stutters.

Tomorrow continue, you may continue to experience mild objects, corporate franchises, and marketecture; the invasion of stutters.

As repair and upgrades to the Gears of Disruptions in service, like sudden disappearance of branded maddening, gibbering thoughts, lost time, and time.

I was really looking forward to that vacation.


Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator

Oh absolutely, @Jaymie Fang, that sounds like a wonderful idea. I'm sure our team of highly trained professionals doing work so delicate that the slightest miscalculation could result in taking our entire timeline offline would love to have any number of novices running around and spilling their psychoactive boba drinks all over the controls.

But just how many students would be interested?

Sign-up sheet is on the bulletin board just outside my office door!


Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator