Uh, ahem. Check. Check. Is this thing on?

Hello Students. As many of you know, following the disappearance of @Big Jim, we’ve been without a Student Activities Coordinator for some time. Today, I’m pleased to announce that—

CRASH! POW! CRRRAACK!

What is going on in there!? What?? The Emission Tank? Just, I don’t know, try flipping the little chromium switch or something. Jeeze do I have to do everything myself around here?

Yes. As I was saying. Hello Students! Following the disappearance of @Big Jim, we’ve been without a Student Activities Coordinator for some time. Today, I’m pleased to announce that I will officially be taking on the position of Student Activities Coordinator, effective immediately.

This decision was not made in haste. There was a lengthy application process, multidimensional background checks, a long list of highly qualified applicants, and a grueling interview process involving ritual combat in an extremely high gravity environment. Luckily, it's not all about brawn!

As the Dean's assistant for Student Harmony, I already know most of you quite well, having spent years observing you via the school's CCTV and Crystal Ball Surveillance Network, and occasionally reading your cards before the Gray Council for intervention advice. So I know I'm well suited to help create and guide the activities that are going to make this the best Psyhigh year ever!

Furthermore, this decision has been made with the input and agreement from Psychic Parent Teacher Association, Psy Corps,@GROTTO G.S.M. INC., and all associated stakeholders who hold the future of our student body dear. I look forward to bringing our student activities back with a BANG. So get ready to show your support!

A. Hazeletine
Student Activities Coordinator

As my first official act as Psychic High School's new Student Activities Coordinator, I'm pleased to announce our next official school dance, which we're calling THE BLACK SWAN EVENT! And the theme? UNEXPECT THE UNEXPECTED!

When: Friday, March 20th, 9pm (Immediately following the Masked Mind Wrestling tournament with Gothic Lolita Prep)

Where: Mesmer Hall

What to Unexpect:

Music by Psyhigh's own Psychic Dance Music maestro @Frozen Laurent
"Life Juice" courtesy of @Thanatos
Additional snacks provided by the Active Psychic Student Alliance (APSA) -- VOLUNTEERS NEEDED
New Student Demonic Welcome Committee -- @Ristel Quarg

This is a fully sanctioned school event (unlike our recent Valentine's Dance) and as such all school policies will be strictly enforced, including no psychic grinding, no ayahuasca juuling, and all students (and their bags, shaman assistants, and familiars) will be subject to level IV invasive mental probes before entering. Spirit Holograph Student IDs required for admittance.

Black Swan dress code strictly enforced.

Can't wait to see you there!

Black Swan Event Update

We've had some questions concerning the upcoming dance. That's great! Asking questions is an important part of psychic education. When they rounded up psychic youth in the 1950's for the first time travel tests, I think we all agree they should have asked questions. Similarly with the mind-control bubble gum focus groups in the 1980's. And of course during the fractioning following the Reality Accident.

As with all compulsory suggested school events, @Jeremy Brown, there is no cost for admission. It's all included in tuition! No RSVP necessary (being a compulsory suggested event), and of course blood sacrifice has been banned on campus since the Alien Blood Drive incident. If you feel compelled to engage in blood sacrifice, please speak to your counselor immediately.

Looking forward to seeing you all at the dance!

Black Swan Event Update

We've had some questions about the theme of the Black Swan Event dance, specifically about the theme: "Unexpect the Unexpected."

Nicole, a sophomore, asks "What does that even mean? Unexpect isn't even a word, much less a verb."

Well, you know what they say! Out of nowhere, the mind comes forth.

Really, the "black swan" referred to is me! Who could have seen me coming, taking over for @Big Jim after his absence? For all we know he's still hold up in the Unincorporated Eco-Villages of THAI ORNAMENT, Boca Raton, FL., LLC, just not answering his phone or psychic calls.

Looking forward to seeing everyone this Friday, March 20th, at 9pm at Mesmer Hall!

Remember:

Music by Psyhigh's own Psychic Dance Music maestro @Frozen Laurent
"Life Juice" courtesy of @Thanatos
Additional snacks provided by the Active Psychic Student Alliance (APSA) -- VOLUNTEERS NEEDED
New Student Demonic Welcome Committee -- @Ristel Quarg

In the meantime, we have received reliable intelligence from @Wanda Psyches and are enforcing a strict NO VAMPIRES policy at the dance. If you happen to have vampire friends or acquaintances, we ask at you not invite them, and maintain 6 foot psychic and emotional distancing with them at all times leading up to the dance.

A. Hazeletine
Student Activities Coordinator

Black Swan Event Update

It's with regret that we need to announce that @Frozen Laurent will NOT be providing music for the upcoming Black Swan Event dance this Friday at 9pm in Mesmer Hall.

Rumors about PsyCorps agents breaking down @Frozen Laurent's dorm room door and confiscating illegally acquired alien technology incorporated into his "sound system" are completely unfounded, and the administration has no comment.

Meanwhile, we've got an opening for a DJ or musical performer for the dance! Personally I love that "all that glitters is gold" song from Shrek. Does anybody know that one?

The dance is still relying on our (slowly shrinking) list of volunteers:

"Life Juice" courtesy of @Thanatos
New Student Demonic Welcome Committee -- @Ristel Quarg

And additional snacks provided by the Active Psychic Student Alliance (APSA)

Looking forward to seeing each an every one of you there this Friday night!

Black Swan dress code strictly enforced.

Well, great. Thanks a lot everybody for NOT showing up at the Black Swan Dance.

There I was alone, at the door, ready with my dowsing rod to search all your little backpacks, and the chairs set up all around the hall, and even figured out how to connect my phone to the sound system and not one of you could take time out of your busy teenage lives to think about coming to the dance?

Do you think it's my JOB as Student Activities Director to just create events for you not to come to?

Fine. That just means you ALL missed the big surprise guest of the evening... THE BLACK SWAN itself!

I set the ritual up in the middle of the dance floor. I've done it MANY TIMES believe you me so I didn't need any of you there. The circles were made and the candles were lit and I turned on the ritual conjuring music.

That's right -- Rhiannon, by Fleetwood Mac.

And I was wearing all my best Stevie Nicks lace and chiffon, and performed the ritual poses, and the Black Swan took shape. Its long black neck, its giant wings, its big red beak.

And under the mirror ball, we danced.

She rules her life like a bird in flight and
Who will be her lover?

HONK! HONK! HONK!

The Black Swan likes to sing along.

I didn't pick up anything afterwards and just went home. Let @Janitor Pete clean it up.

A. Hazeletine
Student Activities Coordinator

Following the Reality Accident, we learned that there's no better way to get those psychic juices moving again than PSYCHIC ACTIVITY! We also learned that uncontrolled psychic activity can lead to unhappy thoughts, resistance to following orders, unfulfilled longing, madness, mass hysteria, and large scale property damage.

That's why I've set up a bulletin board right outside my office in the administration building where we're asking you, the student bodies, to let us know exactly what kind of activities you' be most interested in taking part in. There's a little ball point pen tied to a piece of yarn that I've secured to the bulletin board with a thumb tack. Please use it to write in whatever activities you'd like! All suggestions considered!

Please note: you may drop by any time WHILE THE ADMINISTRATION BUILDING IS OPEN. After-hour visits will no longer be tolerated, as we've gone to great expense to install PsyEyes to roam the halls of the administration building at night. We keep the PsyEyes in their kennels during the day but let them loose to roll around the halls when the building is closed, absorbing dust, litter, feral non-psychic rats, and all other forms of intruders. So, please -- office hours only!

Sincerely,

A. Hazeletine
Student Activities Coordinator

Welcome @Bailey Kahn! Here's something you might be interested in: Flying Horse lessons at the Old Corral start tomorrow, 10am. Etheric "god chaps" and psyboy hats provided, as well as carrots and sugar cubes for you to feed the ponies. Parachutes required for first-timers.

I've been riding flying horses since I was just a tot in Children's Circle (I ride Atlantean style, not English or Western) and will be attending as chaperone and co-lead rider. Complimentary lunch of beans and cornbread to be served on the Cloud 9 floating observation platform around noon.

Hope to see you there!

Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator