Small complaints

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- 2/24/2024 11:12pm


All of my favourite clothes are green. Plus, I don't think I look like I could cause trouble. What a lame new rule...

I will continue to wear my best green trousers, unaffiliated.

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Ms. Hazeltine
- 2/22/2024 11:52pm

Dear students,

As you are aware, Psychic High School has had generally unrestricted dress code for many years. This is partially to accommodate the wide range of physical forms our students (and staff) have, but also because the supplier that made our specially resilient uniforms had to close due to supply chain issues.

While the school remains largely unafraid of clothing, we are temporarily banning the wearing of "green jeans," or "jeans that are green." The school has learned that the wearing of "green jeans" is a sign of being involved with a criminal cult that has recently been targeting our botanical students and staff, not to mention the landscaping.

Any student found wearing "green jeans" will be asked to remove them immediately.

Don't get caught with your pants down! And leave your "green jeans" in your drawers till this arc reaches its satisfying conclusion.


A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator

- 2/19/2024 11:58pm

Yeah it was me and my crew who was responsible for the dousing of the plants on campus. I told the psycops everything. We were just looking for some extra psybercoin, and the guy online said we'd just need to walk around campus and start pouring out the sauce he sent in the big green barrels. So we filled our stanleys and started pouring. And I'll admit we mighta got to sippin a bit of the juice ourselves. We didn't mean any harm by it, but that fella never got around to payin' us either. We're owed! Said his name was... DOCTOR GREENJEANS.

*hic!* Anybody mind if I just defoliate a bit? Maybe out in that dirt behind the library?

Mr. Blume
- 2/13/2024 5:19am

Due to recent instances of chaos and confusion, I would like to clarify a few things.

No, there is not a rave or ritual going down in the greenhouse. No matter how much I wish I could go back to how things were and do all the fun parties of my youth, I am simply not as young as I was all those centuries ago.
This noise is due to some recent break ins via Hyperlink portals. Don't worry, the broken glass, loud noises, random floods of carbonated drinks, and strange black liquid that keeps decorating the walls will eventually stop once these random portals stop showing up. (I still wonder how they get them in the ceiling...)

The greenhouse will be open soon enough. If I can get permission, I might be able to reopen with some rules.

2. no touching any plants, portals, or anything that comes OUT of the portal
3. please be respectful of the various plant-like creatures. Due to the portals, some things have been mixing and mutation, creating living, breathing, walking, talking plant creatures similar in genetic makeup to me. I will be running tests on them at night
4. DO NOT ENTER THE GREENHOUSE BETWEEN 8:45 PM AND 2:30 AM. No matter what you hear, do not open those doors. No matter how loud my screams get...

Solanaceae P.
- 2/9/2024 11:40pm

Hey there! Me and my buddies here in this planter, we're Petunias. And we're FAMILY.

It's kinda chilly out -- do you think you could maybe take us home to your cozy dorm room and let us hang out a little? Maybe spare a little Mountain Dew?

Erika LeRoq
- 2/6/2024 9:20pm

I was really enjoying my winter sit-through on lower campus. The gardens are very quiet this time of year so I can be still, dreaming stone dreams. Through the rain, through the snow. Little birds perching on me now and then.

But there was such a racket at the greenhouse.

My basalt ball joints creaked and scraped, but after a few tries I was able to stand and eventually stomp my way to the greenhouse. What is going on in there? The moaning and the smashing. It's all roped off with pink psycurity tape so I didn't figure I should open it, but is it safe? Sounds like it's full of wild animals.

Guess I'll look for somewhere else to sit through the rest of the winter. Somewhere quieter.

Mr. Blume
- 2/4/2024 3:20pm

@Ms. Hazeltine

Until I have fully recovered, I will be taking time off of class, I appear to be causing distress for my students when I don't mean to. I will be attempting to host online classes, but I fear the students don't wish to see the recovery process.

If it doesn't trouble you too much, could you please let student know to avoid the greenhouse for a few days while I and the other plants attempt to recover?

-Mr. Blume

- 2/3/2024 5:43pm

Yeah I have a small complaint it is that @Mr. Blume has been smelling extra... fecund lately? A little composty?

I suggest sitting in the back


Ms. Hazeltine
- 1/28/2024 10:24pm

As a matter of fact, @Mr. Blume, there has recently been a rash of incidents of students emptying their soda on plants around school. Green Monster Energy, Fierce Green Apple Gatorade, Mountain Dew... Sprite....

We had thought this was just indicative of a growing lack of respect for our environment and an increasingly commodified relationship to beverage consumption. "Kids will be kids," you know.

However, campus psycurity now believes there is a sort gang of mad scientist youth behind this pattern of attacks. Or perhaps a cult. You were merely the most sentient of their victims so far.

But not to worry! I'm sure the Psy Corps has things well in hand! You needn't be concerned about it happening again, and of course your recent leaf loss must be entirely unrelated.

Make sure to drink lots of clean, fresh water, and enjoy some sun!


A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator

Mr. Blume
- 1/27/2024 6:59pm

@Ms. Hazeltine

Any new information on who might have potted me?

Also, after the tests, it appears that my PH level is unusually high and my system has temporarily stopped producing chlorophyll. I will be experiencing the same symptoms as a wilting plant. Do not worry, this is only temporary.

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