What? But what will I eat? I have eaten all of the food. And the "plates" and "silverware" and also the "napkins" and "cups." I am only growing hungrier and hungrier. There is no telling what I may eat next! I know what chairs taste like and I do not mind them. If there is Sriracha sauce. Do you have Sriracha sauce, @Crystal Rosethorn?

I have eaten the roast leg of the animal. It was very crunchy. I did not know humans enjoyed the feeling of bones shattering between their teeth. Perhaps we have more in common than I knew, @Crystal Rosethorn.

You were asking me about the Eons of Dark Time, and how the Monsters survived it and what came before.

You know the land that we come from is dark. Underground tunnels lit by lamp light, lightless woods and hollows, shadowy alleys and broken street lights. But our dark land was bright to those that came out of the Eons of Dark Time.

Something drove the Monsters from our home. And it must have been truly terrible to drive all the Monsters into the space between stars, running for their lives through the darkness, paddling, crawling across space-time. Something that still drives us to this day. Monsters always gotta be movin' on.

When we were driven from our home, we had to leave in such a hurry, all we could grab were rocks. Which is why even today, every Monster has their rock. We are each given one when we graduate from school. Mine is right here under my wingflap.

Monsters take a long time to digest their food, @Crystal Rosethorn. Now I am thinking about tasting this milk and a pie, apple flavored. Is this cow's milk? It is so lumpy and sour smelling. Glug glug glug glug. Smack! Oh sweet mother of monsters, how delicious it is! SLURP. Now I must try this pie, apple flavored. Marf marf marf marf. Gak! Cough! Hack! Sorry, I sucked it down the wrong holes. Achoooo! But the taste! Mmmmm....apple flavored... exquisite! What other flavors are there?

So, yes, ahem, where were we? Ah, you were asking if Monsters go to school.

The School of Hard Knocks, perhaps. There is formal instruction, carried out by elder monsters upon the younger ones, in dark alleys and deserted street corners, empty ghost towns and bleak moors. There are many bruises and broken fangs. But in the process we learn the lore and secret history of Monsters. It is, indeed, beaten into us. "How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?" and all that.

I will eat this mashed potatoes with turkey meat and gravy.

GROWLMPTH! Lick lick smack slurp. Mmmmm... Ooooh, it is salty. And warm. Thank you @Crystal Rosethorn. Is this "finger food?" I love the way it drips down my claws and onto my wrists. MMMMmmmmthm nom nom nom. I don't know which of my mouths to feed next! Mmmmm. Delicious. I will attempt to answer one of your questions with my mouths that are not eating.

Lick. Smack. Mmmm. Slurp. Swallow. So. Ahem. A reader asks: "Do you have a gender?"

Yes. Mifwhich.

In my clan, we have five genders. Mifwhich, Gron, Ecklberry, Johose, and Flrim. Each one can play a role in reproduction, but it takes at least three different genders to create a monster egg. The role of each monster in the process depends on the others, and the exact position of the stars.

However, a monster's gender can give you very little insight into its behavior. We're all different sorts.

Yummmm. Delicious. Do you have a napkin, @Crystal Rosethorn?

It is so very dark in here, @Crystal Rosethorn. And my eyes are so old. Could you describe this food to me? What do you call it? What does it taste like? Is it warm? Is it... salty?

I may be a monster, but I am a picky eater. Tell me about this food and I may eat it with my seven mouths.

Oh, but I grow so very hungry. There's no telling what I might eat next.

And, after dealing with humans for so many, many years, I have learned to be suspicious of their promises.

I will make you an offer, @Crystal Rosethorn. If you bring me some delicious, salty food from your "lunch duty," I will answer a question.

I promise this upon my honor as a Monster.

All these questions are making me hungrier and hungrier. Tell me more about this food, @Crystal Rosethorn. Is it warm? Is it salty? Are there mashed potatoes and gravy?

Do my 5 eyes, 20 legs, 2 mouths and 3 heads alarm you, @Crystal Rosethorn? Or the acidic smell of my oily, oozing skin? I seem to have that effect on some people.

As for my book, I checked it out at the library.

All this tapping at my phone with my hoof makes me hungry. Can you tell me more about this "lunch duty," Crystal? Does it involve food?

GRrrrROOOOMPH!!! TRKLaharph SNARL!!! HACK! SPIT!!!

Oh, uh, whoops. My Monster translator wasn't on.

Yes, @Crystal Rosethorn, I have black fur and a beautiful scaly tail and 2 heads, 20 eyes, and 6 legs.

How can I help you?