Mr. Hazeldell

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Sparks Fly
12/27/2016 6:14pm

I'd gone by to diagnose the haunted roomba that was vexing @Enrique Metabolism and sure enough--it was my little Electric Eric! A little worse for wear but serviceable, and as cantankerous as ever. I firmly believe it is housing the galvanic essence of young @Alastor Dimitri, likely gone a bit haywire and crazy after finding himself a disembodied electrical spirit for so long.

His power's gone pretty low, but just to be on the safe side I've removed the arms and legs and defused some of the more dangerous modifications I'd installed. Like the particle beam servos, and the laser eyes, and the nuclear powered boring drills. Now it's pretty much just a container for an incorporeal magnetic life form, poor kid.

Can't say my expertise lies in the new-fangled synthetic biochemical sciences, but I'll trust the young people like @Justin Colorado in that department. Transferring young Alastor into the android teen that Justin created seems like it just may be the best way out of this mess. Perhaps @Zora Dyne can find a way to sing him outta this mindless little metal body and into the new one that Justin grew.

Meanwhile, I've been setting up those homeless folks in town with a whole slew of my more practical inventions--self building tiny houses (which have the added benefit of low altitude flight, since they're always getting rousted from one campsite to the next), matter-converting privvies (self warming AND cooling, plus they create potable water and deliciously nutritious brownies), and e-paper internet browsers (solar powered and that tap in to the major ISPs free of charge). Hopefully I've made their holidays a little brighter.

11/22/2016 10:05pm

Well I see these homeless fellas out on the street. Just like after the big one back in the day. Hobos gathered round a fire in a trashcan. But there's one of them in a wheelchair. And not a regular, push-style, manual wheel chair but one of these modern electrical types, and I wondered how he charged it up.

"Hey, young fella, how do you charge that rig up, out here on the street?"

And he went on to tell me there was a shelter he could plug it in at, but it was a struggle at times because it had somewhat limited range, and couldn't get too far without having to turn back around and plug it in. He was on a short leash. And if he did run out of juice out on the street it was a lot of trouble, since those kind of chairs don't push real well when they're out of power.

The next day I found him out there on he corner again.

"Hey there, young fella. Got something for you."

And I replaced his old battery with one of my new power sources. Based on the same technology that keeps the horseshoe 'round my pacemaker pulsing its happy blue light. But these new models are 10x more efficient, a little bigger than a golf ball, and light as styrofoam.

"Hey, old timer, what else are these balls good for?"

I let 'em know you could use them to charge just about anything that needed powering. And a lot things that maybe hadn't been invented yet, like micro-space heaters, inflatable microwave ovens, roll-up cell phone docking stations, matter converting cornucopia machines. Stuff fellas like them might find real useful. I let 'em know I'd bring out a few of my prototypes of and see what they thought. Yup.

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Sparks Fly
9/22/2016 8:51pm

Well something has gotten into my tiny tin robot, or Electric Eric as I have named him. Can't be sure if it's @Alastor Dimitri or not, as I'm afraid I didn't spend any time on speech emulators, and he doesn't seem interested in using a pencil or chalk. But whatever it is, I can barely contain it in my lab, and have had to significantly reinforce the doors and windows. It tears around in circles, darn near burning a track in my linoleum, bouncing off the walls and knocking over stools. It is a hoot to behold, let me tell you!

But I'm afraid it's only a matter of time before it discovers some of the upgrades I built into it. Didn't realize he'd raise such a ruckus! Figured the particle beam servos would be used opening tin cans, not blowing up my desk. And that's just the start of it. No-sir-ree, a fully armed automaton with this lack of control would not be a pretty picture loose on campus. I'm afraid it's time to get out my old trusty shotgun Louisa and terminate this experiment post haste. I'm sure young Alastor will just zap on out and into the next appliance he finds, like my toaster. Or my pacemaker. Hmmm. Yup.

Sparks Fly
9/12/2016 10:25am

Going through my attic this weekend, I discovered an old invention of mine that you might be interested in, @Alastor Dimitri. Back when Reddy Kilowatt first discovered his powers, I created a tiny tin robot. It's about eight inches tall, sturdy, with jointed arms and legs and a little head that turns. It's also insulated with frequency feedback controls to be able hold an electrical being like yourself inside of it.

Reddy never used it. Well, he used it once. He got in it one day and tore around my classroom lab like a crazy chicken! Knocking over my induction motors and coils and causing quite a commotion let me tell you! With all that energy inside it, combined with its small size and, if I may say so, excellent engineering, it can move incredibly quickly, and possesses a strength many times larger than its size might make you think.

I've oiled up the joints and replaced the original wiring, and added some more modern capacitors and a few more surprises. I've docked it in its cradle and hooked it up to the outlet in my laboratory. It's sending out a signal through the wires - Fit as a Fiddle by Fred Waring & His Pennsylvanians, one of my favorite tunes. Come on in and give my little robot a spin!

Sparks Fly
8/29/2016 7:04pm

In my 102 years of teaching Ether Physics at Psychic High School, I do remember one young man with very similar powers, @Alastor Dimitri. His name was Reddy Kilowatt, and it was the class of 1925, I believe.

Reddy started off as a regular enough fella, out for the football team, barreling around campus in his Hatfield Coupe with the top down, flirting with girls in his raccoon coat, dancing the Yaya and the Charleston and running liquor for the mob. It was all fun and games back then.

But after our campus electrical system was upgraded, Reddy found new powers. He found he could shoot through the wires like he was living lightning, even leap from building to building in great crackling arcs.

After graduation he went straight to work in the utility advertising business, and had a good career promoting rural electrical use for many years. During WWII, I heard he worked as part of a secret elite force, battling the top Ubermench of the third reich.

Eventually though, time caught up with Reddy, and he began to seem a little too old fashioned. Electricity got to be so commonplace it didn't need a mascot any more. Last I heard he was living in a rest home for other forgotten mascots, like Elsie the Cow and the Jolly Green Giant. Somewhere in southern California, I believe.