I am slowly absorbing campus.

My friend Crystal, with her probiotic bees and sea entities, says that vast wealth makes her cower like a worm. She walks around cities like London and Dubai with her parents on their "business trips" and feels small and worthless and smushy inside the crushing brutality of their municipal architecture.

"It's designed to murder the soul," she says.

I am holding a contest for Cleverest Squirrel would you like to enter it?

Everything's great except my roommate Chrysanthemum spends all her time with the lights off and the windows shut staring at a mirror in her room. There's a lot of weird noises.

Yeah I like to party.

I got an invite to the Teen Ice Giants dance, and am taking @Ludmila Schneeflocke. She loves the snow so much and I'm learning to love the cold just I can see her more.

Sure, she's tall, but that is just a coincidence. I mean, not Teen Ice Giant tall. You have to say alert at their dances so as you don't get stepped on.

I'm pulling out my holiday hat for the Teen Ice Giants dance. They get so mesmerized by the crystals and mirrors I'll probably end up the centerpiece for the whole thing! Unless they have a mirror ball.

My favorite spiral is X~KE because it is friendly and asks for very little.

Just a last minute reminder about the annual Teen Ice Giants Dance tomorrow night, outdoors at the frozen reflecting pools on lower campus starting at 7pm. There will of course be no heat or fires of any kind, so dress in your comfiest winter lux attire if you're not naturally cold.

Speaking of naturally cold, my emotionally frozen (and infuriatingly dashing) boyfriend @Seketus Reed has informed me he will not be attending--some made up excuse about being trapped near the center of the earth again. How many times does he think I'll fall for that? As a result, I'll be chaperoning the event with, well, whoever I can arrange on such short notice.

Shave ice and cold cuts will be served. Music by very special guests the Northern Lights!

Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator

It was sweet for @Roth Waxing to invite me to the Teen Ice Giants dance since that's kind of my dream ✮ ᴗ ✮ skating on the ice under the stars with 12 foot ice teens. So it was a little embarrassing for him to get caught with a flask of hot Dr. Pepper... he should have known they were serious about the "no hot drinks" rule.

@David Doogley--I heard some of the senior Teen Ice Giants have Mean Jug slushies but hard to tell since they kind of stumble around just naturally anyway. And they have a very different metabolism.