PEOPLE OF EARTH!

We have superseded, short circuited, and shut down your shoddy so-called temporal probability scam. A sham!

All bets are off! The card game has folded. The bosses and enforcers have been removed.

The prison doors are open--and the future is yours.

Be good to each other, and don't try to control each other's time.

--Vox Tomnambulous

Today when the network of alien ships appeared all over the Earth and their web of psychic energy corrected the hearts of the most evil and corrupt, and the oppressive power structures of the world crumbled and humans turned their energy to education and science and ethics and caring for each other, I figured it must have been you Temporal Probability dorks pulling a stunt?

I just want to make one big score--on the temporal probability market, of course--before the end of the school year. Something entirely unpredictable, but a sure thing. And I'm tired of the racket and the app and the rigged set ups. I want something clean, and true. A real TP upset. Something NOBODY could see coming.

How can we make that happen?

Ah no problemo @Scaramouche!

Temporal Probability is when the same time happens at two different… times…

WHOAH! DID YOU SEE THAT? JUST LIKE THAT!!

Also: TGIF! amirite?

Hey, sorry guys, but what is Temporal Probability? Like can someone give a quick rundown? I am just confused because what is it even used for? How do you do it? What is it used for? Someone PLEASE!

So there were a bunch of Temporal Enforcers in the commons today. It was blintz day at the cafeteria. Special for Mother’s Day (bring your mom to school day) but who doesn’t love blintzes? Apparently Temporal Enforcers are not exempt.

“Hey Rafe! What are you doing hanging out with these losers?”

I knew Rafe from freshman homeroom. Always a quiet nerdy guy. Never talked about temporal politics.

“Oh hey Olive! But keep your voice down. They like to pick fights.”

“I know,” I said. “That’s what I mean about them being losers.” They all had matching polo shirts.

Rafe looked around quick. “Really they’re super friendly once you get to know them. And they’ve got some interesting ideas if you really think about it. I can send you some links…”

“No, really, that’s fine,” I said. Then one of them whistled and they started to take their compostable plates to the garbage. “See ya Rafe!”

“So long Olive.”

I've been able to beat the TP odds with increasing accuracy for the past few weeks, thanks to Dr. @Richard Tomorrow’s Temporal Probability class. But I only bet small amounts since all those big winners seem to disappear.

Through the exercises we learned in class I've been able to expand my superposition by 500%! Which means about a week. I practice every day and am shooting for 1000%. Potentially thinking of startig a Psytreon and getting sponsorships for my growth milestones and donating it and all my winnings to the Psychic Humane Society.

Today I witnessed a case of TPT (Temporal Probability Tampering). There was a cluster of jobs around a particular address so there were a good number of us there (you can always pick us out of a crowd/takes one to know one).

You never know for sure where the fall-line is on a job—the intended direction of action. You just play your small part. You've got no idea how things are supposed to turn out.

But this time a bunch of us got flummoxed — when you can’t complete the job because there's been such a big disruption of the action you can't even perform your small part.

This one was caused by the insertion of a large No-beast in the lobby of a bank. It affected everybody's path, even though they couldn't see it. Well, all us jobbers sure could see it.

Anyway, something like that doesn't just show up--it was planted in a contested temporality zone. Which means TPT.

So I reported it. I'm sure we all did. You do it in the app. No idea what happens after that (they keep it all secret for privacy reasons).

When you work for the company as a bump agent, you’re immune from changes in the temporal change manifold. So your actions are off the field of play. This prevents the scenario of a bet being taken for something you’re instructed to do via the app.

Like, say your job was to steal something from a grocery store, like a pint of chocolate chip ice cream. You slip it into your jacket and walk to the exit, but suddenly there’s a big voice behind you. But at the same time somebody bet on you getting busted for shoplifting.

That might happen, but nobody can make money off it.

Stable-state was never a sure thing. Are you looking for something entirely unexpected? Something you didn't see coming? Didn't know you were looking for?

What you need is a good dose of surprisal -- guaranteed.

That's where we come in. But you can't come looking for us. That would defeat the whole purpose!

Don't don't think about it and you'll leave a hollow space just our size there in the grass of your thoughts. Set it up a pillow and some snacks. We'll see you there -- guaranteed.

--Vox Tomnambulous