The Alteration Society

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Terror Bean
- 3/19/2016 2:29pm

My uniform doesn't fit. Does anybody's? And it's scratchy. There is a group of girls on campus who will do alterations for you but it's super secret and you have to be invited and then it's expensive. But if you put a single sock in your window over night it's a sign that you want to make contact.

I'm hanging my sock tonight.

Terror Bean
- 3/21/2016 11:20am

Got my new uniform back this morning. It's sharkskin, with shark's teeth in the soles of the shoes, and a big dorsal fin on the back that picks up signals from the ocean-sky. I'm walking around campus following schools of freshmen and weirdos. I've never felt more alive! Thank you Alteration Society!!!

- 3/24/2016 6:24pm

I am putting sock in window tonight.

- 3/24/2016 7:43pm

my shirt is 4 sizes too small. my sock is in the window. it's purple with little smiling penguins. if it falls out the window, please put it back.

- 3/25/2016 9:48pm

Sock in window had very good result. New uniform from Alteration Society arrived, and no longer I am part of soulless fashion hegemony. Navy and plaid replaced by Moholy-Nagy and Mondrian inspired prints. Also: provides shielding from authoritarian mind control transmissions. Highly recommend! Would order from them again.

- 3/26/2016 9:11am

just got my shirt back. it appears to have polymorphed into a small black cube, but other than that it fits perfectly! also it has four different settings for toast. thanks alteration society!

- 3/26/2016 12:15pm

my pair of jeans arent fitting, uh, i guess ill also put my sock in my window....uhm, its black and white striped with gumballs, please dont touch it, uh, thank you

- 3/26/2016 6:09pm

my jeans have um, come back from the uh, alteration society....and they fit now!! they're not too um big anymore, though they have tiger stripes on them and roar every once in a while...uh, plus they sometimes make me randomly run towards people and pounce on them....

- 3/27/2016 9:19am

does anybody know where the local supermarket is? i want to test out my new shirt's ability to toast bread, and when i try paper it catches on fire.

Meat Mathieson
- 3/27/2016 12:19pm

I'm always up for a new set of threads. Hanging my sock in the window tonight.

But what's up with Crime Club? I can't find the door to the new lab. Is that some kind of security feature, @patrick? It will make it hard for new recruits like @xiirth to join up. And with @Nobody out of town, who's in charge, anyway? Isn't it customary to stage some kind of coup in situations like these?

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