Enter the Portal
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Chris Anthemum 11/20/2021 9:57pm
Round two could have gone worse. I think that's the best way to look at it.
We thought little Broonie McGrath would be a good candidate for the Motion Sensor Missile Squares, on account of her invisibility and shapeshifting powers, but, well, they were much larger missiles than we anticipated.
We thought Bufonidae could either leap over or squash the obstacles in the Murderous Robot Steeplechase, but his soft underbelly was no match for their countermeasures.
But how about that Fleet Chavez, eh? Whatever that thing was that was chasing him was no match for our Fleet! And how he made it out of that stumble and right out of its jaws was nothing short of amazing. We're still going back to the tape on that one.
Fleet got Plink wound up real hard too, and she's been jingling away ever since. I've translated it here:
INTERFERING WITH THE TRIBULATIONS OF N'KAAR IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN, AND CAN RESULT IN PUNISHING FINES, COMMUNITY SERVICE, AND A MINIMUM 3000 YEAR JAIL SENTENCE. YOU ARE PLAYING A DANGEROUS GAME, MORTALS! MORE DANGEROUS THAN YOU REALIZE.
That Plink! Really a great cultural ambassador for all of us here on the Other Side.
See you all (well, those of you left) at practice this week. Don't forget our big finale is on Friday night!
Lia Bezos 11/23/2021 2:05pm
Hi! I tried the portal. It seems that it has... rejected me. every time I try to go through it, I end up in a small dark room. Is this normal, or am I doing something wrong?
Best wishes, Lia
Ms. Hazeltine 11/23/2021 7:36pm
If you look carefully through your school-provided eldritch scrying lens, @Lia Bezos
, you should see some eerily glowing characters on the wall of your small dark room. Those characters translate as:
WAITING FOR THE HOST TO LET YOU IN
But really, they aren't letting any new students in. Or any old students out. Not until the Tribulations of N'kaar conclude, which has its season finale this Friday night!
Through an arrangement with the Other Side, you'll be able to watch the live stream by tuning in on the Magnalobe™ devices now available in the student store.
Let's go Psyhigh! Beat those... tribulations!
Student Activities Coordinator
Molly Morgan 11/24/2021 11:55pm
I saved Fleet Chavez! Did you see that?
There, look at frames 10002358 through 10002376. Right when the jaws of the big furry snake were snapping shut, see it? That silver hand! It grabs him by the shoulder and shoves him out of the way.
That was my hand. I bought some new mods, and to pay for it my whole hand turned silver, but I now I can reach right into the Magnalobe and really do stuff.
I can see why these mods are so popular. And illegal. But if we really want to win the Tribulations of N'kaar, I'm going to need more mods. A lot more. And I don't see any other way we can make it through the season finale.
You know what happens if we DON'T win, right?
Chris Anthemum 11/27/2021 7:32pm
I would have won even without that silver guy.
I will admit the Lightning Worms had me pinned down, but I was ready to make my break and clobber that Smother Bear on my own. And I definitely didn't need any help on the puzzle, but that silver dude just barged in and took over.
And now everything's messed up. I mean, we did win, technically, so I guess the invasion's off. So that's cool. And they're letting everyone who's left return to school, and everybody's calling me a hero, but I think we all saw that coming, amirite?
But because of the "special circumstances" they're calling a technicality on me personally, and, well... what? Oh, you want to say something, sprite? I guess Plink wants to make an official statement. I will interpret her jingles here:
INTERFERENCE! INTERFERENCE DECOHERENCE! ILLEGAL MOVE! THE WIN WILL STAND, BUT THE BIG TOWHEADED ONE MUST REMAIN AND SERVE OUT 3000 YEARS (OTHERSIDE CALENDAR) COMMUNITY SERVICE AS CELEBRITY SPOKESMODEL FOR ULTRA-BODY™PURE MAGNIFICENCE PSYCHIC SHAMPOO, LESS TIME SERVED.
AND WE WOULD HAVE WON, TOO, IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU MEDDLING KIDS!!!
Really? You're keeping me here?
Well, I don't suppose it could be THAT bad... could it?
Molly Morgan 11/29/2021 10:41pm
You saw me that time, I'm sure. Since everybody did.
There's no way @Chris Anthemum
would have won without my help. He was obviously completely in over his head. And now the school is saved, and everybody can go home.
Well everybody but Chris Anthemum. And me.
I had to spend every ounce of my... whatever it is... (lifeforce? soul?) in order to get the mods for the Magnalobe that were necessary to win the Tribulations. With every mod I bought, more and more of it was drained from me and more and more of me became silver. From my hand to my arm to my shoulder to my head. My torso and legs went last, which was weird. But now I'm 100% silver. And there's no way back.
I'm also, apparently, stuck here on the Other Side for good. Seems whatever holds these silver bodies together is a special wavelength to this dimension. If I set foot out of it, I'd melt like a puddle of mercury.
Not that I'm safe on this side either. I hear Plink is setting up a squad of security sprites to hunt down the person responsible for helping Psyhigh win. And I plan on making it hard for her to find me.
So, congrats, everybody, and you're welcome. Maybe someday I'll see you on the Other Side.
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