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Enter the Portal 11/27/2021 7:32pm
I would have won even without that silver guy.
I will admit the Lightning Worms had me pinned down, but I was ready to make my break and clobber that Smother Bear on my own. And I definitely didn't need any help on the puzzle, but that silver dude just barged in and took over.
And now everything's messed up. I mean, we did win, technically, so I guess the invasion's off. So that's cool. And they're letting everyone who's left return to school, and everybody's calling me a hero, but I think we all saw that coming, amirite?
But because of the "special circumstances" they're calling a technicality on me personally, and, well... what? Oh, you want to say something, sprite? I guess Plink wants to make an official statement. I will interpret her jingles here:
INTERFERENCE! INTERFERENCE DECOHERENCE! ILLEGAL MOVE! THE WIN WILL STAND, BUT THE BIG TOWHEADED ONE MUST REMAIN AND SERVE OUT 3000 YEARS (OTHERSIDE CALENDAR) COMMUNITY SERVICE AS CELEBRITY SPOKESMODEL FOR ULTRA-BODY™PURE MAGNIFICENCE PSYCHIC SHAMPOO, LESS TIME SERVED.
AND WE WOULD HAVE WON, TOO, IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU MEDDLING KIDS!!!
Really? You're keeping me here?
Well, I don't suppose it could be THAT bad... could it?
Enter the Portal 11/20/2021 9:57pm
Round two could have gone worse. I think that's the best way to look at it.
We thought little Broonie McGrath would be a good candidate for the Motion Sensor Missile Squares, on account of her invisibility and shapeshifting powers, but, well, they were much larger missiles than we anticipated.
We thought Bufonidae could either leap over or squash the obstacles in the Murderous Robot Steeplechase, but his soft underbelly was no match for their countermeasures.
But how about that Fleet Chavez, eh? Whatever that thing was that was chasing him was no match for our Fleet! And how he made it out of that stumble and right out of its jaws was nothing short of amazing. We're still going back to the tape on that one.
Fleet got Plink wound up real hard too, and she's been jingling away ever since. I've translated it here:
INTERFERING WITH THE TRIBULATIONS OF N'KAAR IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN, AND CAN RESULT IN PUNISHING FINES, COMMUNITY SERVICE, AND A MINIMUM 3000 YEAR JAIL SENTENCE. YOU ARE PLAYING A DANGEROUS GAME, MORTALS! MORE DANGEROUS THAN YOU REALIZE.
That Plink! Really a great cultural ambassador for all of us here on the Other Side.
See you all (well, those of you left) at practice this week. Don't forget our big finale is on Friday night!
Enter the Portal 11/13/2021 4:59pm
Well I think that ended up going ok, all things considered. Amirite?
While it was great to have Sister Nova on the team, her ability to emit controlled atomic blasts from her rosary wasn’t much help navigating the Greased Pig Balance Beam.
Bart Sturgeon could have shined in the swimming challenges, so, admittedly, entering him into the Electrified Ladder of Doom event may have been a mistake. Especially in light of his tiny flippers.
And while it’s possible the bodies of Bridgette Le Sparque and Caleb IV20 may be separable following their mishap in the Collide-a-tron, they will both be out for the remainder of filming.
But hey! That just means we’re really narrowing the team down to our absolute top performers, and I’m sure @Ms. Hazeltine
is contacting everybody’s parents as appropriate.
And did you catch my interview? Everybody here loves my hair! Probably because the silvery denizens of the Other Side have no hair. Which, come to think of it, makes it odd that I'm sponsored by a shampoo company. Huh.
Looking forward to seeing everyone left at practice this week!
Enter the Portal 11/8/2021 8:13pm
Here on the Other Side, preparations and training for the Tribulations of N'kaar are going great. We've learned that the Tribulations of N'kaar are broadcast directly into the minds of all the citizens of the Other Side via their Magnalobe™ devices. Apparently it's a very popular program! Each month they invite beings from parallel universes to run the Tribulations of N'kaar obstacle course, which involves a lot of jumping and climbing and being beaten with giant bats and lightning bolts and falling off platforms into some kind of ectoplasmic goo.
Because it's a mandatory broadcast via their Magnalobe™ network, the biggest brands from the Other Side may even be interested in sponsoring particular team members! I myself have already been approached by an enchanted shampoo company about wearing their logo on my uniform.
Plink (our sprite guide and interpreter), is eager to give us some tips on the things the team needs work on. She's jingling right now (can you hear her?) but I'll interpret for her here:
FOOLISH MORTALS! UNLESS YOU PERFORM WELL IN THE TRIBULATIONS OF N'KAAR YOU WILL BE DOOMED TO ETERNAL TORMENT!!!!
That Plink really knows how to motivate team spirit.
So -- everybody keep it up this week at practice, and get ready for shooting the first episode LIVE this Friday night!
Enter the Portal 11/3/2021 8:05pm
I just wanna say I'm proud to be chosen as student team leader of Psyhigh's first journey through the new portal in Extradimensional Concourse C tomorrow.
As top of the class for three years running in psycholinguistic motor control, hydrosonic water shaping, and wind calling, as well as captain of the mech boxing team in last year's district championship, I know I will not let us down.
We've got a great team, and I look forward to seeing each and every one of you on the tarmac at 3pm.
Plus, we'll be accompanied by a little sprite from the other side named Plink, who will be acting as guide and interpreter on our trip.
Let's hear it for Plink!