Leslie Bonfire

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11/24/2019 7:13pm

I'd like to apologize to the entire Spirit Team, and their coach, Ms. Spaeckle, for being inadvertently caught in one of my void traps. Guess I forgot about the one under the bleachers at Woodhull field!

I'm collecting all the traps that have accidentally collected students and faculty, and as soon as I hear back from the manufacturer everyone will be safely released!

In the meantime, I hear the proto-void space inside the traps can be a wonderful place to visit. A regular VOIDcation if you know what I mean! But do keep an eye out for any of the traps I've forgotten the location of until we get this sorted out.

11/18/2019 1:06pm

Well, I finally caught something in my void traps. Trouble is, it turned out to by my roommate! I sent them out to check the traps and they got sucked into the one by the library.

The traps were specifically built *not* to capture any students exhibiting humanoid-spectrum biosigns, so I am 99% this is a result by tampering from PETOVA activists.

If your roommates begin to disappear, please lodge a complaint directly with @King Burr and @Aggie Chandler and @Osore Satou and the other activists who are endangering our community.

Meanwhile, I’m trying to get my roommate out of the trap but I’m not sure how! I can hear them rattling around in there when I shake it, but how exactly do you remove a humanoid-spectrum roommate from a proto-void environment? I think I threw the instructions away with the rest of the packaging for these traps...

11/14/2019 8:20am

These feral void pets are harder to catch than you might think. We weren’t able to get any in the crosshairs of the de-emulsifying cannons we installed on the roof of Boötes dorm, even though we skipped classes for three days. (But don't worry are petitioning the extradimensional biology department for extra credit to make up for it!) 

Speaking of petitions, I think all the student resistance to what we’re doing is really misguided. The administration has refused to take action because of pushback from PETOVA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Void Animals), so my roommate and I are the ONLY ones providing a humane response to these poor void animals' plight. And their anxieties. And infections. It’s really their best interest that we have in mind. 

So, anyway, we're going to need to set up traps. If you see one of our devices around campus, DO NOT TOUCH! We don't want to get you sucked up into the proto-void holding environment, do we? :)

11/8/2019 2:25pm

Pets Can Fill the Void!

I’ve got everything in place for my void-kennel for feral void dogs and feral void-variant cats, ready to start my void-pet adoption service for all Psyhigh students.

Trouble is, I can’t seem to catch any! Void-pets, that is.

I’ve got the big barrel de-emulsifying guns set up on top of the dorm, and my roommate in an airtight void-suit and a giant net ready to pounce. But now that we’re all ready for them we can’t find one anywhere. Not even the tell-tale void droppings that ruined my shoes!

If you've got tips on catching these critters, or have one yourself that’s turned out to be too much work, let us know! Meanwhile we’ll remain on the roof of Boötes dorm and keep our eyes peeled.

11/4/2019 1:07pm

“I just don’t think domestic animals should be wild.”

My roommate is so tired of hearing about my anxieties.

“I am so tired of hearing about your anxieties. It’s all you’ve been talking about for a week.”

“It just not natural. Wild animals, sure. If a family of possums steals a car and joy rides it around town, so be it. That’s Mother Nature. But when dogs and cats are wandering around, sleeping outside, with no curfew or social contract, you’re just asking for it. They get diseases, they bite, they INFECT. And why shouldn’t they? They’re not designed to live alone, evolutionarily. It’s cruel.”

“So what would you do about it?” asks my roommate. “Remember how your knitting-hats-for-birds-that-forgot-to-fly-south project went.”

“It is true I didn’t take into account how hard it would be form them to hold the needles.”

“So you start a campaign where a psychic animal control officer collects all the Void Dogs and Void-Variant Cats and puts them in some cage and then what? Who’s feeding them? Who’s cleaning the cages? Where do they go from there?”

“Well they get adopted! Every Psyhigh student mandatory void-variant pet adoption!”

“And for the ones that don’t get adopted?”

“Well, if they come from the Void originally...”

“Oh that’s just cruel.”

10/28/2019 12:55pm

Hey I stepped in a pile of what I can only describe as “void-goo” in the grassy area behind the cafeteria. It’s like black, starry jelly, but also like a hole ripped in the fabric of space. And I’ve been noticing more of it dotting the yards around campus.

I do not know if these are related to @Osore Satou‘s void dog, or some of @Ritsu Arisawa’s leftover “voidstuff,” but in any case, please be responsible for your void-goo. It’s super hard to get off your shoes.