Kimya Abbey

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Completely Unsuspicious
5/7/2019 7:46am

Now it all seems like a dream. A centipede venom infused dream.

@Melody Quinn and I brought @Francesca Lemon back to school. Of course, students hardly looked twice at a student with centipede eyes. The doctors say she can only see light and dark, but Francesca insists otherwise, constantly narrating an iridescent world of purple shadows and golden halos.

Melody and I have considered plugging the hole. Rolling a big old boulder on top of the manhole. Nobody should have to see what we saw down there. Then again, if we get to missing that sweet, sweet centipede venom, we might regret cutting off our source.

The worst part of it is that Dig Director and @Lake Inc. stiffed us on our checks.

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Completely Unsuspicious
4/27/2019 3:40pm

@Melody Quinn and I just can't get enough of that centipede venom. The other night we were hanging out and she looked at me and I looked at her and we both knew what we were craving. So we walked across town in the dark and made it to the hole at the Jolene Avenue Graveyard.

Down at the bottom of the ladder, that whispy hair feeling starts tickling your ankles, and you keep walking through the tunnel and before you know it we've stumbled into the altar vault and there's Carlos wiggling in his throne and the throngs squirming in the darkness, all lit up by the eerie glow of their centipede oil lamps.


And the tied up and blindfolded @Francesca Lemon in a cage in the corner. We weren't so dizzy with the venom yet, so we walked across the undulating cave floor and let her out.


And we took off her gag.

"My eyes," she said.

And we took off her blindfold.

"It's beautiful!" she said, looking across the cavern.

Then she looked at us with her centipede eyes.

Completely Unsuspicious
4/21/2019 7:59pm

This week's dig wasn't about digging at all! It was about remembering. Or imagining. Dig Director wasn't really clear on that.

First she gave us some centipede repellent but it wasn't near as good as those chairs and stuff that @Dara Boman makes because we still got bit and the hallucinations just like last time.

Carlos, the Centipede King, was towering in his throne, waving around like one of those air-blown wiggle men you see at the car lots, and the caverns were full of the shiny, oily armor of the centipede minions roiling around in the shadows, and @Francesca Lemon is there tied up and gagged in her cage, and everybody's singing the woozy click-clack poem, following along from the big silver tablets on the cave wall.

Dig Director wanted us to write down the sounds from the poem, so @Melody Quinn and I are doing our best to sound it out, there on the bench at the Jolene Avenue Graveyard. Did I mention it was a beautiful sunny day?

Anyway, Dig Director was happy enough with our work that she let us go home early. I just wish she'd let us use our phones to record things, because of course we did use our phones to take videos but we couldn't tell her because of the rules and we didn't want to get fired. But @Melody Quinn and I watched them later when we got back to the dorms and it was weird to have a video of our hallucinations. What's up with THAT?

Completely Unsuspicious
4/14/2019 10:01pm

The most confusing thing about this week's dig at the Jolene Avenue Graveyard was the hallucinations. Wooeeee what a doozy! Luckily the Dig Director had her anti-centipede venom, or who knows how long they could have gone on.

The last thing me and @Melody Quinn remember is climbing off the ladder at the bottom of the hole and walking for a ways with our phone lights. You're not supposed to bring your phones on the dig as a precaution against picture taking but they got lax about searching us.

Anyway the centipedes must have been getting us the whole way in but they were those centipedes with arms and feelers like soft hair and we never felt the bites. But we're pretty sure (and Dig Director assures us) that the Centipede King (or Carlos as they called him) towering in his throne, sitting up like a cobra and undulating back and forth as he sang that weird poem must have been a hallucination. From all the bites. And then the vast cavern around us roared in ecstasy as the center of the portal opened up.

Next thing we know we're laying on the grass in the Jolene Avenue Graveyard and Dig Director says she administered the anti-venom and do we feel better and sign these papers and we're back in the van with warm bottles of water they gave to us.

All in all, totally still worth the credits. What's a few bug bites? Don't know why they didn't keep @Dara Boman around though.

Completely Unsuspicious
4/9/2019 9:37pm

Psychic archeology sure is mysterious. @Melody Quinn and @Dara Boman and I landed at the Jolene Avenue Graveyard and the Dig Director (she still won’t tell us her name) did our shovel check (had ‘em!) and our glove check (didn’t!) and then used her dowsing rods to point us to a place right in the middle of all the holes we dug last time.



Right away we hit something. It was like a manhole but bigger was covered with many strange inscriptions. SEE? Psychic archeology. I wanted to take a picture for class but Dig Director says no photos.

Anyway we pried it open and do you know what’s under Psychic Archeology manholes? Holes! Or at least one very deep dark hole. There was a ladder and none of us really wanted to go down in it but @Melody Quinn and I thought @Dara Boman was the best candidate, because of bug repellency. Did I mention the centipede issue?

So @Dara Boman went down the hole and @Melody Quinn and I spent a long time not talking (because Dig Director) until Dig Director called the van and said it was time for us to go.

Does this mean @Dara Boman gets overtime? I wanted to ask but I haven’t seen them at school since. Maybe when we go back!

Completely Unsuspicious
4/5/2019 12:21pm

Can you keep bugs away from other people too, @Dara Boman? You might be a perfect candidate for the Dig Team! @Melody Quinn and I got eaten alive digging those holes at the Jolene Avenue Graveyard, but we’re headed back tomorrow and could really use your help. Plus, free credits! Free money! Definitely room for a bug repeller. Meet at the parking lot by the gym at 11am.

Hope you work for centipedes too!

Completely Unsuspicious
4/3/2019 7:48pm

@Melody Quinn and I spent some time at our new great part-time completely unsuspicious job and I guess it must not be suspicious because psychic archeology.

The Dig Director directed us all around the Jolene Avenue Graveyard, pointing her dowsing rods around and shhhshing us when we talked. She pointed them here and pointed them there and pointed at the ground for us to dig our tiny holes.

We were glad not to have to dig the big holes because that must be hard work! There were lots of big holes that had gotten dug recently and then filled in and you had to be careful not to trip over them or the headstones when we walked. And holding our breath! You have to hold your breath when you walk between the spots which helps with the not talking.

Anyway we dug a bunch of tiny holes all over and they must have liked our work because they want us back! Maybe next time we put things in the holes? It’s all very hush hush. I guess they could still use more bodies though. You should sign up!

Completely Unsuspicious
3/30/2019 4:15pm

Hey so @Melody Quinn and I went to the parking lot out by the gym today to try and find the vans and get a ride with @Francesca Lemon to the Jolene Avenue Graveyard field trip and maybe earn some extra money and get credits for psychic archeology class but there was nobody there. If you are closed Friday through Monday why is the job on Saturdays? Is Francesca already working for you? Do you want to see how long we can hold our breath? Ready? 1... 2... 3..........

3/5/2019 6:46pm

I’m a Silence Major.

whoops. I did it again.

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