Hello Students. As many of you know, following the disappearance of @Big Jim, we’ve been without a Student Activities Coordinator for some time. Today, I’m pleased to announce that—

CRASH! POW! CRRRAACK!

What is going on in there!? What?? The Emission Tank? Just, I don’t know, try flipping the little chromium switch or something. Jeeze do I have to do everything myself around here?

Uh, ahem. Check. Check. Is this thing on?