Happy holiday season to all our students!

As many of you know, I'll be using my built up vacation time to fill in the gaps between the paid holidays. My charming on again/off again psychic cave explorer "person of interest" Professor @Seketus Reed is taking me on a cruise to Muspelheim! So you won't have to worry about me keeping warm IF you know what I mean.

So, before I go, just two bits of housekeeping.

1. Those remaining on campus for the holidays will be fed soup.

2. Using the Psychic Santa app, you will be paired anonymously with a Psychic Santa Gift ID Number (your PSGIDN). Use your PSGIDN to identify the gift you select and place it in the display in the cafeteria. And NO peeking under all that wrap till Unboxing Day.

And now, Skeetus and I are off to meet with Surtr, the leader of tour group. See you next month!


Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator

I really don't understand the "anonymous" button in the Psychic Santa app. I want the person to know who it's from, right? And, if it's anonymous about who it's for, then it's all just weird.

I am getting @Kaida a Pocket Universe.

Ooops am I supposed to keep that secret?

I have received training in the form of tiny scrolls about navigating the small spaces within gift wrapped packages. I am available to peek on certain gifts upon request.

I want to know what’s inside the one that’s round like a hat box, wrapped in golden foil with a red poinsettia bow, @Gretch En. I just know that one is mine. Or I will make it mine.

You'd think it'd be unnecessary to wrap presents at a school for psychics, but there's a lot you can do to keep the contents of a present unknowable:

1) Lead wrapping paper
2) Wrapping it under a new moon blindfolded and naked
3) The Tears of Forgetfulness
4) Quantum superposition ribbons and bows
5) etc., etc.

I did it the old fashioned way and snuck in to the cafeteria late at night and undid the tape and peeked at the box. It's from Beeker & Joy, the toy and magic shop downtown. I'm going there this weekend and will do a little "social engineering" and see what a kid from Psyhigh might have bought recently...

I have entered the Third Fold.

The way is narrow, but through breathing control techniques and focusing on the Microcosmic Trigrams I have made it this far. The gold foil wrapping on this gift is especially tight. It was obviously done by a professional. Did they have something to hide?

In order to pass beyond the Third Fold, Master Wei has given me a special tiny scroll from the Little Library. I am taking a small break to concentrate on the scroll, and have deployed a portaledge from the sheer wall of the gold foil to meditate. And take tea.

I honestly want to know who stole my 50$ dark blue ink pen? Because when I woke up to look for my pen under the tree, it was gone. I hope that person suffers in DEEP HELL and only eat peas for the rest of their life. That pen was high tech and was high quality when writing. Hopefully it wasn't Ni-ki because he likes to steal my shit.

The “pick any gift you want” display in the cafeteria is really great so I grabbed a small one and it is the most awesome blue ink pen you ever touched but it gets out of hand and takes off on its own writing stuff like:

"Hey lemme out of this pen! It's like sardine can in here! One minute you're lounging on a beach at the shaman's festival in Gangneung and before you know it some crank sucks you up into an inkwell. I'm not used to being cooped up like this! I had my own qilin and used to fly anywhere I wanted... surfing in Da Nang, rock climbing in Java, karaoke in Tokyo... You gotta let me out! We can make a deal!!!"

It does have lovely handwriting though. Big curlicue cursive script just like your great grandma.

Beeker & Joy is a toy shop in the front, magic shop in the back. The front was crowded with shoppers. The back had just a few maladjusted lurkers.

Magicians.

There was Tommy Kane, president of the Future Psychic Business Leaders of Tomorrow. And Griselda the Necroteen, @Gumhead the Ghost, and one of those especially tiny visiting students from Lampfordam, the gingerbread town.

"Ah, I'm so glad you could finally join us, young Nick."

It was old man Beeker himself, suddenly appearing from the shadows behind the counter.

"Now we can start the lesson."

I looked around, and none of the other kids new what he was talking about either.

Welcome to the Psychic Gift Exchange Master Class.

Everything is true
Nothing is forbidden

Note that "Evetyhing is true" is not equivalent to "Nothing is true." It is the exact opposite.

Note that "Nothing is forbidden" is not equivalent to "Everything is permitted." Because that's not possible if everything is true. And it's nuts.

It's all a bunch of malarkey anyway.

When you've mastered the techniques in this course, you'll be able to discern how everything is true, and how nothing is forbidden.

Because it--