UPDATE ON SUBJECT A AND CONTINUED EXPERIMENTS

A Licensed Clinical Lobster Psychologist, @Dr. Fermelda B. , has been selected by the Tester for the treatment of Subject A. Picking from the array of candidates we had was a hard choice. Professional Zoodivinator Laura Smickes showed promise, but her use of claw reading was shown to be inaccurate as compared to other psychic processes. Charles "Chunky" Grithe, an Arthropod Dream-Weaver/Psychiatrist, was also considered, but his background was seen as too broad, dealing with an array of arthropods, from those of the Arachnid class to Crabs and fellow crustaceans. The Tester wanted someone more dedicated to Lobsters. Dr. Fermelda B. Boilin showed this dedication as well as extensive work experience and impressive skills. Further treatment of Subject A will be left to the practiced hands of Dr. FB.

The request for a new subject has been made to the Lobster's Union.

Experiments will resume shortly.

Sometimes you just want something pure and clean to drink. Know what I mean? Not all these sugars and hallucinogenic chemicals and buckyballs and rice. If there were, like, somehow, a liquid that had none of those ingredients but was cool and refreshing and had no taste at all! Wouldn’t that be something? It wouldn’t even need bubbles. 

That is what I’d like to see available in the HmCU, @Julia Nye, if the nerds in the PsyScience Wing could invent such a thing. But sigh I fear such a feat could be beyond even them. 

UPDATE ON THE HmCU (re uploaded to the experiment log due to a mistake made by the Tester)

Ever since a flavorless, hallucinogen-free drink was suggested by @Sister Taxa, the Tester (Julia Nye) has been working hard with her team to provide this. It was a long and arduous task, but a substance candidate has been found.

The first question asked in this experiment was, what is flavorless? Is there any naturally occurring and flavorless compound or resource that can be made into a refreshing and easily marketable beverage? There were a few paths we followed to come to our final product.

One of our first thoughts was to condense Psychic Energy, as energy does not have any flavor. Of course, condensing energy into matter isn't exactly legal on Earth (won't make that mistake again), so the Tester was able to use one of the PsyScience wing's Other-Dimension Labs. Another problem arose with the huge amount of Psychic Energy that would be required to condense into a liquid, the preferred state of a beverage. The Tester was able to resolve this by putting an ad on Craigslist, offering Olive Garden giftcards and Monster Ultra Blue energy drinks to those who could spare any Psychic Energy. The energy was collected, and a total of 6 bottles of condensed Psychic Energy were created. It was flavorless, in the sense that it did not activate the sensory nerves on the tongue, but did contain the thoughts and memories of dozens of individuals, some not of this world or plane. The Tester now remembers the lilac of a sky she has never seen, moons and constellations that are known in no myth of the Earth, and the eyes of a person that she loved, in a life entirely separate from her own. This experience, while not wholly negative, is not recommended for the student body. Psychic Energy, as the Tester and her crew call it, is to be hidden in a secret vault away from the general conscience.

The next passage of thought was was to investigate in nursing homes and hospitals, know for their bland and tasteless food and drink. As it turns out, the methods that are used to erase flavor are extremely well guarded. There is 24 hour surveillance in front of what appears to be the entrance of an underground facility. Symbols seen on this entry door were transcribed in a notebook by the Tester. She noticed the gum in her mouth (Watermelon flavored Extra brand gum) began to lose flavor, accompanied with a growing sense of lethargy and boredom. To prevent any future conflicts with the Nursing Homes Association or the Hospital Food Network, further investigation will be discontinued and this option will be seen as nonviable.

Lastly, the Tester and her team arrived at their third and ultimately successful idea: use the air around us. This idea sprouted from an ingenious comment made by Subject A: "Air Taste Nothing!". So, to start off, they condensed air into a liquid state. This liquid was unfortunately far too cold to be drinkable. The Tester then remembered that air was a homogeneous mixture of several different elements; mainly nitrogen, hydrogen, and oxygen. However, these, when condensed, were still too cold. To find what truly made air flavorless, the Tester and her team began to chemically combine the various elements found in the air. Initial attempts were unusable, creating Nitrous Acid, which was too spicy, and Ammonia, which offended the olfactory nerves. Finally, after rigorous experimentation, a perfect candidate was found. Dihydrogen Monoxide is a flavorless, colorless liquid, and brings refreshment to the drinker. It has certain unique properties that make it incredibly beneficial to intestinal health, outward appearance, and even cognitive ability. The Tester and her team decided to call this beverage Di-Hy™. It comes in blue aquatic themed packaging, inspired by Subject A's comments that it reminded them of their home.

To all students of PsyHigh, come to the PsyScience wing and try Di-Hy™!