So my uncle owns Moody Crows, the waste removal service they are using at the Psychic Fair and Rodeo. You've probably seen his specially trained crows wearing their little yellow vests, hanging around at the dumpsters and stuff, or quietly picking up the occasional dropped french fry or dirty napkin or chicken carcass.

Uncle Len has asked me to be his Customer Service Ambassador to Psychic High School, so just in case you want to leave him (and his cute little crows) a 5 star rating or recommendation for the great job they're doing, just let me know!

And if you want your own private meeting with the crows, I can arrange that too. We can put you on our Instagram! He also made me Social Media Manager.

Wow. I've never been to a Psychic Rodeo before but that was awesome!

When I found out the moon phase wasn't right for Werewolf Riding, I figured I'd just attend as a spectator but boy was it worth it! How do those psychic cowpokes rope those ghosts anyway? I heard it's something about a silver lining.

First, the clowns (in their skeleton costumes) go to the center of the ring, then they uncork their bottles and the banshees fly out. Some kind of protective circle keeps them from flying into the crowd and entering into our mouths and stuff.

Then the cowpokes come out and have to rope one before the buzzer goes off. They say it doesn't hurt the spirits (on account of their uncorporealness) but they sure get caught and squeezed a bit. Then the cowpoke (boy or girl or whatever) has to land them and administer the final binding spell and raise their hands when it's done and that's their official time. That student @Heavenly Betsy got to the qualifying stage but still has to go against the cowpokes from Necromancy High and Ghostbusters High and some other heavy hitters. Totally going tomorrow night!

Taking first place in the Banshee Roping at the Psychic Fair and Rodeo has been one of the greatest honors of my life, and I'd like to acknowledge the stiff competition from Nightmare High and Pecos Bill Elementary. I'd be proud to rope ghosts at your side any time, partners.

I think it's also time that I come clean with you all. While you've all been mighty gracious accepting me into this school, as well as this psychic rodeo, it wasn't so long ago I went by a different name around these parts. And that name was @Lasso Larry.

See, I spent a long while lost in those Worm Gardens, and during that time I got to learn a lot about myself, and it was during that journey that I discovered that I'd just be a lot more comfortable being @Heavenly Betsy. So I headed to the psychic ladies' western wear shop and picked out a whole new me! I've never felt so free at being myself before, and taking first place in the Banshee Roping has been just the icing on top of a beautiful cake.

And so, as I cut into this beautiful 5 story rodeo cake (kindly supplied by our friends at the Brain Freeze ice cream and bake shop in the city), I'd like to dedicate this first slice to---

Well what in tarnation will you look at that! It's those darn CROWS! The sky is black with 'em! Everybody take cover underneath the bleachers!!!!

The attack of the crows was horrific.

Ok, maybe "horrific" is too strong. There weren't any plucked out eyeballs or bloodshed of any kind (except some scraped knees) but have you ever been attacked by a murder of crows? All those beaks. All those claws. All those feathers.

I gave up all the food I was holding (including the Australian licorice in my pocket) just like it says in the safety brochures, but then it became clear the crows were after more than our food, and were plucking us up by our shirtsleeves and hair and carrying us off! (The brochures say you shouldn't wiggle once you're up in the air like that.)

So now there's a whole bunch of us in this crazy nest up in the hills. At least I assume it's up in the hills, but the stars look different. Anyway, it's definitely a big twiggy nest. Why are we here? Crows don't eat people, do they? I mean, live people? And aren't "nests" supposed to be @Anything Owl's jurisdiction? What's going on? I've got classes starting like, next week. And even though there's tons of popcorn and half eaten hamburgers here, I really want to get back to my own bed,

Hey -- is that a kit kat? Will you split that with me?

So heres a funny story, I got tricked into walking into a machine that makes me fall asleep. Indefinitely!

How FUN >:(

ANYWAYS...

So heres what happened.

Ms. Hazeltine exscused me from my first period, so I could go to her office. She tells me I need to go in the machine. I ask her why, and she dismisses my question. That shoulda been a red flag for me. But being the obidient girl I am, I went into the machine. She closed it up tight immediately. I could still see and hear (although everything was muffled), so I was able to catch her saying,

"Thank you Sweetie. Now Hannah can participate," before turning it on and me falling into a deep sleep.

So yeah

That happened

OH AND BY THE WAY

IVE ALMOST COMPLETED MY PLAN TO KILL @Anything Owl!!!!

YOU WILL PAY, YOU STUPID STUPID OWL

Sweetie :3