I'm interested in the study abroad program at Orion Ranch.

Yes I am so excited this is coming up I can not WAIT to get away from all the slobs in my crummy dorm.

Heya, psychic buckaroos! I'm pleased as pie to be leading this semester's yahoo space adventure to Orion Ranch, home of rolling low-g pastures, herds of two-headed semi-intelligent mancattle, and some of the most prolific star-milk producing cactus farms this side of the Eridanus Supervoid.

Just slip into the uh... slipstream here, and join the fun! All class credits fully transferrable upon successful course completion. So hop into the saddle today!


Chevy Lake
Psychic Dude Wrangler Extraordinare

So I'm signed up. But how do I get to this Ranch?

Hey @Roth Waxing sorry for the slowpoke reply but I've been at beautiful Orion Ranch, a moon orbiting gas giant in the goldilocks zone of a sun in the constellation of Orion whose exact location must remain a secret because we can't have it turn into some galactic tourist attraction can we???!

I've just been getting some of our most recent psychic transplant settlers squared away, and we've still got plenty of space left in the bunkhouse.

Just sidle on down to the teleportation circle on lower campus and look for the trilithon with the horseshoe on it and shimmy on through! Don't forget to pack for a wide range of climate, atmospheric, chemical, and elemental environments (including hard vacuum) because you never quite know what kind of nutty escapades might come up next!

See you soon, psychic space partner!

I'm interested!I signed up!Also where is the school?

Heyyy @Vera Friedman I'm signed up for the Orion Ranch trip too but haven't slipped through the portal gate yet. Want to be me my roommate in the bunkhouse? You're not a slob, are you?

I wouldn't give my DNA to anybody on campus because they're likely to make a dopplerganger voodoo clone out of you and then there's some evil twin of you running around campus and getting you in trouble. Like what happened to Lisa Rameriez. But on Orion Ranch there's aliens who do it and I heard they're a lot more respectful of your genetic heritage.

Why hello there, propieters of Orion ranch!

Is there, perhaps a reclusive, isolated spot in your ranch for a reclusive, isolated poet? I promise I will make it worth your while!

I need a break from my room. I want to go outside. Alone. Free.


What are the requirements for a one week session? Please get back to me ASAP


-V the Poet

Well heck V -- can I call you V? -- we do have an opening in a very special remote location you may be perfectly suited for.

You say you're a poet? We have a regular spot for the Orion Ranch Poet Laureate--a poet who's really able to capture the grandeur of Orion Ranch, with its rolling waves of razor-sharp slice grass (the only food mancattle will eat), undulating pools of primordial ooze (no telling what's coming out of those this season!), and of course the luminous form of the immense gas giant that holds us in her thrall (we call her Louise 6e), and the graceful path of our many sister moons as they dance their eternal do-si-do across the sky.

The spot reserved for our resident poet is a lovely studio apartment in geosynchronous orbit directly above the central Orion Ranch compound. Aside from beautiful views, it also serves as a kind of early-warning detection station for the occasional visiting mangeto-swarm entities that that we share orbit with around Louise 6e. Our last poet got, uh, detected by the swarm, which is why we're looking for a replacement!

Requirements are only that you're not currently failing any of your other classes. Though arrangements can usually be arranged if you know what I mean!

If you're interested, just slip on through the trilithon with the horseshoe on it down at Teleportation Circle on lower campus at Psyhigh, and check in at the front desk at the Orion Ranch reception center. They'll be real glad to see you, and arrange for the very next shuttle to get you up to your new digs.

Meanwhile, I've got a big low-gravity cornhole tournament to arrange!

The Hobbosses are mean. I know we're supposed to be learning by being part of a working space dude ranch, but this part of it is just a little too "authentic" for me.

It's true the mancattle can be dangerous, and they've shown us the holo of what happened to ol' Sid so many times it doesn't even make me nauseous anymore. But there's other ways to treat us to be safe around them than just screaming at us all the time.

I've been on a five day mancattle drive, riding kponies, driving the mancattle to fresh slicegrass fields. Sleeping on the ground (well, the ground without slicegrass) and ok the night sky is really awesome, and the ground isn't so hard on account of the low gravity. But I'm sure looking forward to the big welcome-back hoedown they keep talking about.