Today the bus broke down. I was on it with my friend and she was as white as a ghost. Because she is a ghost, probably.

That sounds horrible: Witchfinder GPS. I'm not even sure why I'm surprised such a thing exists, but I guess I just hoped such people didn't exist. @Colleen Brown-Green I concur, witches are seemingly hunted disproportionately more than some other "races." It's sad the kind of things some people do.

I won't lie--there were a tense few moments as I held up the lost ticket and everyone raised their hand to claim it. Who knew how long any of us had been on the Lonely Bus? No one else could have ever gotten on because the bus had never made a stop. Ever. And everybody wanted off.

After fending off the first few lurchers with my sword cane (where did that come from?), calmer minds prevailed. There was no way I was walking off with it now, nor anyone else, so it was decided that we'd split the ticket with as many of us as we could. I tore off tiny pieces and handed them out one by one, until there was nothing left but a single tiny speck of a ticket for me.

The most eager of us--a kind of deer woman in a cloak--pulled the STOP cord and waited. Shortly after, the bus came to a halt and a door appeared. The doors wheezed open and Deer Woman took a step out.

Well, part of her took a step out. A very tiny part.

The effect was horrible. She shuddered and fell back as a tiny bit of her essence left the bus, leaving the rest, broken, torn, inside. But that didn't deter the next dozen or so passengers, each so eager to leave they neglected to examine the effects.

As everyone in this particular section was gathered near the door, I noticed a maintenance closet near the back of the compartment. I opened it and discovered a small escalator, rolling up into to the crawlspace above the cabin. Without a second thought, I boarded the escalator.

Did you know the Lonely Bus had a second level?

I don't think Witchfinder GPS even actually works. Aside from the occasional unexplained disappearance of a Witchfinder GPS user, you never hear about somebody successfully finding a witch with it, do you? And the Witchfinder Corporation seems pretty shady. Have you seen their website?

Even if doesn't actually work, it's still dangerous because it promotes witch-hunts, which isn't good for anybody. Except people who sell witch hunting gear. And related items.

Well that's relieving. To be honest though, yeah I didn't ever hear about it working, but I didn't even know "Witch Finder GPS"

(Odd... the rest of my messaged seems to have gotten cut off...)
I didn't even know "Witchfinder GPS" was a thing until recently, so I wouldn't have known if it was effective or not. Anyways, I managed to find their website... and yeah, it looks very sketchy.

ok so here's a news story on some kids who used Witchfinder GPS and like, u should watch out

-------------------------------------------------
Local Youths Terrorized by Witches

TRI-CITY AREA -- A group of young people claim to have been harassed by a coven of witches they tracked to their lair using the increasingly popular Witchfinder GPS system.

"Yeah we was just out at the pits doing some driving and minding our own business when our Witchfinder GPS started going off like crazy and we had to go see what was up."

The "pits" referred to by the youth (who wishes to remain anonymous) are the abandoned gravel pits near the centroid of the Tri-City area, often used for harmless "joy-riding" by young people in their souped-up mega-vehicles.

"So we tracked down the blips and ended up at the old strip mall they're gonna tear down for the new distribution center and we said to ourselves well boys this is it, time to give those witches what for, but then they came at us and started being real mean, and damaging our private property."

The strip mall in question is officially unoccupied, but the name Thanh Dao's Nail Paradise is still visible over one of the abandoned store fronts.

"They come at us with their broom sticks and chains and tire irons and Kyle he got a bloody nose and contusions and it hurt real bad. Then their shot guns messed up the paint on Kurt's 8-wheeler and I got some buckshot in my rear blast window and now I gotta replace it."

This may have been written off as mere "youthful high jinks" if it not were for a similar report at the very same location and on the same evening. A local motor cycle club (and Witchfinder GPS enthusiast group) calling themselves the "Witchfinder Generals" reported responding to "hits" on their Witchfinder GPS systems at the same abandoned strip mall and being attacked by a group of witches, suffering similar physical injuries and property damage as reported above. The coven they encountered were lead by a particularly terrifying pair of witches using the witch names "Ky-Hell" and "Ca-Hurt."

As the casual use of Witchfinder GPS becomes as common as drones and fidget spinners, there is some concern that encounters between dangerous witch covens and the general law abiding public will increase. If you feel there are witches operating in or near your neighborhood, authorities ask that you report their coordinates immediately so trained WART (Witch Activity Response Team) officers can respond directly.

That's terrifying. THE LOCAL AUTHORITIES PROMOTE THAT KIND OF BEHAVIOR? I'm afraid that's a place I should never visit then... for fear of my own safety. I sure hope it is just a coincidence how well it found those witches, because its just a terrifying thought...

The Lonely Bus does have a second level. It was a bit cramped at first and I had to wiggle my way through the wires and the insulation and it got down my shirt and itched. But eventually it opened up and I found myself in the cab.

Since the Lonely Bus was infinitely long, with no beginning or end, I had wondered where the driver sat. Here it was. Looking out the windshield, the sections of the Lonely Bus stretched out into the ever-lasting night. It was quiet, and the controls on the dashboard were clean and modern, with touch screen readouts and shiny metal knobs.

But there was no Lonely Bus Driver to be seen.

"Breaker one-nine, you got your ears on Great Deceiver? Over."

A little red light blinked near a digital CB radio.

"Because you gotta check this out. Sending you a link now."

A screen on the dash lit up and started playing a local TV news story. The sound was turned down, but the banner at the bottom read "LOCAL YOUTHS TERRORIZED BY WITCHES."

"They don't know how right they are, do they G.D.? Yee-haw! We got enough of those damn GPS apps out there to start messin' with them good I figure. That was just two groups goin' at it. Wait till we get three or four all out at the same place at the same time. You should take a spin on it."

Another piece of the dashboard lit up, this time with a map, covered with many small green dots.

"You got your Haunting License renewed, right G.D.? Har har har!"

I looked around the cab. There was no one else there. Down the hall would be the W.C., but I knew no one was in there either. And the tall black conical hat hanging on the wall? I knew it fit me perfectly.

Things were starting to look familiar. Again.

Witches 4 Life, right?

I had no idea that the lonely bus had a second level, it really doesn't look like it from the outside huh. Anyway, I did find out that the lonely bus has a luggage compartment underneath the first floor. I found it out one day because a corner of the carpeting peeled back a little, and I tripped right over it. Lying there on the floor, I noticed a handle peeking under the carpet. My stop wasn't coming up for another 45 mins, so I decided why not explore. Looking around at the zombie-like passengers, I knew I could enter without being followed.

Underneath the trap door was a small area, a little bigger than a crawl space. It was filled with luggage from other people, I suppose, but the amount of dust on those babies, it seemed like no one had touched them in years. I couldn't hold back my curiosity, so I opened up a faded green carry-on. Inside, was a ton of old equipment wrapped in yellowed newspapers. The coolest thing I found was a walkie-talkie that instead of connecting to another walkie-talkie, connect to your alternate universe self. I thought that was pretty cool. My alternate self is named Harlow Estreya and she found her walkie-talkie in her alternate universe bus, called the Sociable Bus.

Anyway, does anyone know what this device is called?