Who's here for Botanopsychic Summer Camp 2023?

I just checked into my room in Culpeper dorm and want to know who's ready to play in the dirt!

You really gotta hand it to these psychic trust fund kids here for Botanopsychic Camp. If they're so "in tune with nature," why are they staying in the dorms? Why aren't they sleeping outside?

I couldn't afford the registration fee so I'm crashing camp and sleeping outside. Find me in the gardens at night!

Though my vines might find you first.

Welcome Botanopsychic 2023 Summer Campers! Woo hoo!

You can call me Peregrine. Fist bump! This’ll be my third year as Vinemaster, and I’m super stoked to meet all the new faces.

So let’s whoop it up, and make those forest vines grooooooooooooooow! Sing along with me now:

Oh mighty green vine
On forest bottom
Creep through the night
And seize our enemi-ies!

See y’all on lower campus first thing, right after reveille and pancake breakfast.

What I like about Botanopsychic Camp is the political contextualization. It's not about arts and crafts but direct action.

Like, today we learned about deconstruction, and how to help the vines tear down a building. There's an old cabin in the woods we're practicing on. The main thing is you have to learn to be real patient because it can take years.

Naturally I got put in the same Pod as Mx. Mudd -- the only summer camper who has it out for me. But I am making the best of it. Unconditional positive regard! Yes, it sounds corny, but is also a key tenet of Psychobiofloral Harmony.

For instance, it was through the power of unconditional positive regard (and, admittedly, months of meditative practice and dietary discipline) that I was able to win the Wildflower Sprint today. Took over the football field with Black-eyed Susan before any of the other campers had a chance.

Mx. Mudd wasn't expecting that.

Cherry here, my little fruits!

Meet me in the orchards noon to 2 for my six part presentation on Seed Acceleration and Fruit Explosion. Hyper-hybridization, Clairvoyant Flavor Stimulus, and Stone Fruit Weaponization all covered in detail.

Wear clothes you don't mind getting stained!

Who's up for sneaking out tonight?

You know that part of the sentient vegetable garden they've got roped off? I heard it's totally amazing and there won't be anybody there to catch us. Meet at the maintenance gate in the back at midnight.

Has anybody seen @Benjamin Beans?

We hung out in the sentient vegetable garden last night till late. It was totally secluded and the kids from Witchcraft High brought some Datura and stuff and that was cool.

But when the moon came out it got weird. It was a fat half moon, and the sentient vegetables started getting really active and waves of vines started rolling and we all got separated.

A bunch of us got together this morning at pancake brunch but still nobody’s seen Benjy. So we're gonna sneak away back the sentient vegetable garden this afternoon, when all the Vinemasters are on pancake siesta.

Come in Benjamin B!!

Of course I wasn’t invited to the get together at the off-limits Sentient Vegetable Garden, but word gets around. So far none of the Vinemasters have caught wind of it, but I get the feeling @Peregrine Cornflower knows stuff like this is bound to go on and he tries not to know about it.

But somebody’s going to find out about @Benjamin Beans sooner or later. And what’s everybody standing around for?

I’m headed to the Sentient Vegetable Garden tonight.

The human sacrifices continue to arrive.

It is at the height of the summer when L'empire des légumes is at its most powerful.

We lure the humans in with the sound of our garden growing.

crrrck

Especially at night, and when the pull of the moon is the strongest.

Crrrrrrrrck

And when the sun is high.

CRRRRRRRRRRRRCK!


Come! Come oh warm, meaty, moist, nutrient filled youth!

Come! Come and enter the Cathédrale de laitues!

Come! Come lay down upon the soil and take your place in Le culte du jardin!

Come, annual offering of youth! Come Botanopsychic Summer Campers!

CRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRCK!