- VIDEO TRANSCRIPT ... DATE UNKNOWN -

[papers shuffling] [indistinct conversation from unseen crowd] [footsteps]

AC: Fellow students...

[room goes quiet.]

AC: ... I have gathered you all here today to discuss the [several unknown words, tape possibly manipulated]. After the crustacean uprising in September, I'm sure we're all anxious to know whether or not I'll be back... and, well, I'm right here, so that answers the question.

[audience laughter]

AC: Regardless of whether or not I hold the position of club leader, we still must remain vigilant. [unknown, static unrelated to manipulation] will always be watching our [unknown] and the thing within the [unknown, manipulation evident] is...

[something underneath the stage suddenly explodes. speaker (AC) grabs on to her podium but falls over the platform's edge regardless. the crowd goes into a panic as AC scrambles to her feet and backs away from the stage.]

[a single crab crawls onto the podium and pulls the microphone down to its face.]

CRAB: LONG LIVE THE QUEEN.