We're starting to enter the dead season at the Ghost Hotel, @Tina Infinity. However, it's a great time to become a Junior Ranger on our Ghost Forest Corps! Care and maintenance of the Spirit Trails and haunted restrooms. Excellent night vision preferred.

Here's the info on the keynote speaker at the Phantasm Convention, @Elizabeth Webb:

ABOUT ABIGAIL BOUCHER
Abigail Boucher, the original "mad librarian," is perhaps the most famous ghost librarian working in the business today. Originally driven mad by patrons misshelving books, Abigail perished of desperation in the stacks of her beloved library (quiet desperation being the second-most common cause of death for librarians in the early 20th century).

She continued to haunt the library for decades, hurling books at patrons and eventually knocking over entire banks of shelves. Her home library was eventually dismantled brick by brick, but then, in a misguided attempt at fundraising, these bricks were distributed and used as cornerstones for new libraries. This resulted in hauntings coast to coast, as the spirit of Abigail Boucher was holographically distributed into every library that used her bricks.

Today there's an Abigail Boucher in lots of towns, but we've got the closest to the original that's left. She's more batty than ever, but always puts on a great show. Don't miss her presentation on the final night of the convention, midnight in the Haunted Ballroom.

The Ghost Hotel is for the use of itinerant, migrant, and traveling ghosts, @gavcrowleys. Ghosts stay here on holiday, for business, or just passing through. Some non-ghost entities (or "people" if you will) are able to see the hotel and inadvertently enter the hotel and book rooms. This is rarely a pleasant experience for any of the parties involved.

Because of their hermetic nature, ghosts are awkward in public situations. Generally spending so much time alone, they lack the requisite social skills surrounding privacy and appropriate behavior that non-ghosts take for granted. While a ghost books a particular room at the Ghost Hotel, they may spend little or no time in it, and instead spend their time wandering the halls and moaning, entering other rooms and rearranging furniture, or screaming while passing between the walls.

As members of the Ghost Union, all ghosts are required to attend one convention a year for personal development. This allows them to maintain their ghost benefits, like Universal Ghost Care, ghost scale wage for all apparitions, and collective bargaining rights against the Forces of Nothingness (FoN).

Membership in the Ghost Union also offers great discounts on coach airfare on virtually all airlines, as part of the Aviation Poltergeist Treaty of 1978.

Yes, in that case you should leave a tip, @Kritz Babbage, because your bed gets made up by actual people and not ghosts. And they could use a tip because they're not getting paid well to begin with.

Ghosts are more likely to rearrange your things while you're out of the room, or appear at the foot of your bed at night and stare at you. They also appreciate tips, but instead of actual money they prefer palindromes written in white sharpie inside of ashtrays, haunted plastic pirate coins, or tiny pieces of mirror arranged in little circles, infinity-wise.

We're broadcasting from the Ghost Hotel. We're spooky, and interviewing spectres and spirits in town for the Phantasm Convention. Call in with your questions now!

.....***ccck SQUAWK flurb burb burb burb

Ooop! Sorry! Just getting the settings adjusted.