THUMP THUMP THUMP Crash!!!!!!

WHERE ARE MY cough! hic* argggghhh!

Excuse me. Time for my indoor voice.

Where are all my precious little new friends, the @Bimpliboos? I visited them just the other night in their tiny mushroom town. We made fast friends, and they loved climbing over my huge form and removing the peksy chiggers and mites that have been plaguing me so. They get into my spiracles and up between my platelets and oooooo how they itch! But those little @Bimpliboos just get right in there and dig them out. I think the @Bimpliboos eat the mites and chiggers as food. So you can say it's a symbiotic relationship.

But now when I returned to their mushroom village it was flattened! As if some very large, very heavy... thing... had sat right on top of their tiny mushroom town and squished it flat. It is a tragedy! If I find out who crushed my new friends little village I'll show them how it feels. By crushing them!!! ARRRRGHHHHHHH!!!

So I am glad the @Bimpliboos are expanding. There are lots of nice lawns ALL OVER CAMPUS where they can grow their mushroom empire. I must go visit them now, because these chiggers are making me itchy!!!

THUMP THUMP THUMP Craashhhhhhh!!!!!!!

I AM THE KING OF THE CRICKETS! AND THE WOODLAND CREATURES! BOW DOWN TO ME!!!

Hi. Through the wonders of science, I have attained my true and destined form. The size of a 1980's recreational vehicle!

Come a little closer, won't you?

No?

THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP

There. Now I can whisper in your face with my massive cricket breath and tell you I think something funny is going on here. I have built a palace of grass and logs and highway barricades in the woods, and the squirrels and the wombats have told me that they are growing smaller and smaller all the time. And the woods are growing smaller too. And the telephone poles. And the sky.

I have noticed this too! But I seem immune to this strange effect. I must visit @Marthew17 to discuss. Tonight. When I go to pick up more soap!

THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP

Science lab? SCIENCE LAB??!!!!

Clear the way everybody this cricket is living LARGE and gonna get LARGER!!!!

I used up that final sliver of de-miniaturization soap and that was a sad morning let me tell you. So I drank up all the water in the puddle I've been washing in and there must have been a lot of leftovers in it because now I am TRUCK SIZED!! Vroom Vroom!

I tried sleeping in @Janitor Pete's garage for his trucks but he chased me out with a broom. Since then I've been using the service roads to get through the woods and sleep in a big clearing, where I've made a charming nest in the grass. A BIG nest.

But what if it wears off? What if I shrink back down to my previous, unassuming, and entirely unimpressive size? WHAT THEN? Well that's not gonna happen because it's time for me to hippity hop thump to the science lab and meet up with that @Marthew17 and I just know he'll fix me up yes sir you bet he will!

THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP

BOY OH BOY that de-miniaturization soap is workin' its magic! I'm down to just a little sliver but it's still enough to work up a rich lather in that puddle outside the library. My palps are huge, and my long, segmented antennae are enormous and maybe that's what scared away that group of students this morning. I hopped after them yelling "Hey everybody! It's me!!!" but misjudged my landing and injured a few I'm afraid. Because now I'm the size of a small car. But I feel GREAT!

I am getting low on that soap though. I hopped though the commons and into the cafeteria building looking for @Marthew17 and couldn't find him anywhere, but it was hard to recognize people in all the chaos and the broken glass. But I NEED more of that SOAP! Sure, I'm big, but I could be so much bigger! @Marthew17 I'm coming for you!!!!!!!!

Well bust my buttons, that de-miniaturization soap is certainly doing the trick. Cause I'm busting right out of my little blue suit! The little vest and jacket I had just split right off, and my pants and shoes are all torn up. And my little top hat sure won't fit any more.

I'm starting to fill out just like a big boy cricket. I'm walking on all six legs, and my cerci are getting as long as my feelers, and my leg spikes are getting long too. I was lathering up in the puddle in front of the library last night and surprised a raccoon and boy oh boy you should have seen him run. I reckon I'm about the size of a big fat housecat now.

Speaking of, it's about time for me to go out an lather up some more! Gee I hope I don't run out of this soap anytime soon, because I just want to grow and grow and grow! Thanks again @Marthew17!

Well I got me some of that de-miniaturization soap last night and lathered up in a puddle right out in front of the library under the streetlight and boy oh boy do I feel bigger already! I can feel my antennae growing and my palpi perking and my cerci surging! Pretty soon I just know I'm going to outgrow this little matchbox I use as a bed and need to move up to a... gee, I don't know! A shoebox maybe? A cricket can dream! :) Thanks @Marthew17!

I ran away from the Insect Circus, which is a lot like a Trained Thoughts show but with more tiny whips. Maybe you could start there, @Octopus!

Speaking of, does anyone know where I could get some de-miniaturization soap? Even though I am a cricket I'm really not supposed to be this small. Seriously. If I could just get my little forelegs on some of that soap I'd be right as rain. Hook me up, somebody!