I think that Psychic Synchronized Swimming Team is going to State this year for sure because we’ve got a total ringer on the squad—@Radioactive Turtle!! They can hold their breath for a totally long time and provide a great foundation for the team, especially for when we do our signature move: the 7-layer Thought-form Incubator Energy Pyramid! #stoked

Classes were pretty chill today. But I have a big mountain of stuff due in two weeks, not worried at all though. Two weeks is a long time. I just gotta work hard. In transmutation class we learned how to turn gold into silver, and in alchemy we were allowed to make lots of potions. I made one for re-carbonating sodas, and I also saw someone making a gumption booster! There's also a handful of other classes i'm attending. Maybe if something interesting happens in them ill write about them! Sincerely, a Radioactive Turtle

I don't usually go to sports but with all the buzz around the Psychic Synchronized Swim Team how could I resist? I even convinced @Zach Flameheart to come but that didn't work out too well because of all the splashing.

Anyway, the finale when @RadioactiveTurtle rises up from the depths with the rest of the team in formation on the shell is pretty awesome. Then they start floating in the air and spinning and spitting out water. They are definitely going all the way this year.

But then @Zach Flameheart started screaming and I saw the water splashes were dousing his flames. Didn't even think about sitting in the protected area. Next time for sure.

Long-time fan of Psychic Synchronized Swimming, and I have to say I am not a fan of the new team uniforms. I suppose they’re trying to reference the crusty shell of their new star, @RadioactiveTurtle, but they look really clunky. The stony carapace up over their shoulders and heads looks like it’s grown right into their skin! I suppose it will help protect them from predators in the final rounds, but I’m worried it limits their visibility. Still rooting for the team though. #GoPsychos!!!

I'm writing an article for PsySports Today, and wanted to interview you, @RadioactiveTurtle, about your role in the meteoric rise of the Psyhigh Synchronized Swim Team. Have you been involved in synchronized swimming for a long time, or does it just come natural to you? How long can you hold your breath? Have you been approached with any sponsorships? Will we soon see some corporate logos on your shell? And are you concerned about the meteor?

Bit Wrinkle - PsySports Today
DATELINE: Psychic High School

PsySports Today DATELINE: Psychic High School

In a stunning move in the final round of their series with Seahorse Prep, the Psyhigh Psychos synchronized swim team made history with a mesmerizing mid-performance transformation of the entire squad into enormous sea turtles.

“It must be something in the water,” said assistant coach and clairvoyant history teacher Cheloni Testudine. “@RadioactiveTurtle has definitely brought that “something extra” that the team has been lacking for the past few years.”

Judges gave the routine an unprecedented perfect 11+ score to the finale, which brought the entire audience—and supporters of both teams—to a standing ovation in the bleachers at the Psyhigh Arcane Aquatics Center. The Psychos successfully formed the Escher Star—a nonconvex regular polyhedron—which had never before been attempted in competition.

“I’m still dizzy just thinking about it” commented Kate Regress, mother of one of the now transformed team members. “It was turtles all the way down.”

We've been deeply engaged in both our children's sports careers at Psychic High School, and have never complained about the fees. But the amount of fresh seawater my daughter now requires just to survive on a daily basis isn't something we've budgeted for.

Now, I know that all the parents of children on the Psychic Synchronized Swim Team are facing similar challenges, so I'm not saying we're special, but we're all equally committed to seeing our team take State this year.

Which is why we've asked the Psychic Parent Teacher Student Association to consider using school resources and technology to miniaturize the entire team between competitions. This will allow for our children to spend their time in more manageable-sized habitats while at home and at school, but be re-enlarged in time for each round of the finals, making sure they make as big a splash as possible.

Please voice your support to the PPTSA for this miniaturization initiative, and LET'S GO PSYCHOS!

PsySports Today DATELINE: Templemer Aquadome

The Psychic Synchronized Swimming Finals ended today in a mind-shattering, and in many ways indescribable overtime performance by Psyhigh's Swimming Psychos, led by enormous team captain @RadioactiveTurtle.

Upon completion of a grid of hyperbolas, deforming themselves along the tiles, @RadioactiveTurtle began a freestyle spin, churning the milky waters of the regulation competition pool into the eye of a cosmic typhoon, exposing the Maha-pudma and eventually the shell of the World Turtle which supports the Earth itself. The remainder of the squad took up angelic poses in the air, producing long golden trumpets and flowing white scarves.

"@RadioactiveTurtle is no showboater," said Psychos' Synchronized Flanker and Wing Forward Jessie McTavert. "We all just worked really hard to create a routine that could best demonstrate our combined skills. The whole team, all of us, we were just giving it our all, keeping our heads down and getting the job done."

@RadioactiveTurtle was unavailable for comment. Rumors of increasingly erratic behavior due to Radioactive Mind Rot continued to be denied by Coach Testudine.

"Any connection between @RadioactiveTurtle's performance and the arrival of the meteor are complete fabrications on the part of the psychic sports media," she said in a prepared statement.