Welcome students!

That crispness in the air! The smell of newly waxed halls! That sense of a nameless, cosmic void just on the edge of your consciousness!

That's right, it's the start of Fall Term.

Whether you're a returning student, a brand new student, a hastily assembled artificial construct posing as a new or returning student, a student from another school entirely, or not even a student at all, you're here now and THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS. Since we can't afford to keep having you disappear in mysterious ways. We need those dorms filled! Butts in chairs! Otherwise we risk another round of funding cuts from the Psychic School District.

Speaking of funding cuts, my over-educated and more poorly-groomed-than-ever "special friend" @Seketus Reed lost his position as resident psychic spelunker at Mystic High (he was bumped by an old troll), and unfortunately his investment in Love Cave Resort didn't pan out when the caves were taken over by a savage reptilian race from deep underground. Until he gets back on his feet and finds a job as a substitute psychic spelunker he'll be bunking with the Spongiform Unimind in the catacombs beneath the school. Because he won't be sharing my room until he shaves and takes a shower. He's just got to break out of his funk.

So! What's new with you? Oh yes! Fall Term! Please be kind to one another and respect and celebrate each other's differences. After the Phylogenetic Event, you may be this planet's last best hope.

Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator

Hi I’m Xenia and I’d like to introduce you to my field of sunflowers.

We began like a little start up in the back of a cave. They didn’t know geometry. Hardly knew math. But after we were able to show them what it could do…

My roommate can produce speech that sounds like reasoning, but it's not.

The squirrels at Psyhigh are super buff. It’s like they work out, with their little biceps and abs and cute little butts. Very tight.

On my home planet, no one can see you if you hold your hand in front of your face. So if for instance you're in an argument with somebody and you want to disappear, you just hold your hand in front of your face and suddenly they can't see you. So you keep holding your hand in front of your face and walk away and nobody can tell where you went or what happened.

It was a little embarrassing to learn it doesn't work like that on your planet.