The President of the Squirrels is a lot more approachable than you'd think. When I heard I had an appointment with him I was nervous because I didn't know what to say to such a big star. But really he's just like you and me. But cooler. Kinda hanging back, listening, nodding. Seems like a genuinely nice guy.

There's beef between the Principals and the Presidents. I tend to stick with the Principals because they are rational and scientific. Whereas the Presidents just base everything on what they say came before.

@Madeline Moss introduced me to the Principal of Ferns.

The entourage of the President of the Squirrels arrives first. Secret Service Squirrels in dark sunglasses slink into the room, checking out the doors and corners, leaping onto the top of the china cabinet, knocking down dusty dried flowers with their tails. Once they give the all-clear, the President is rushed in with his group of aides and secretaries.

The Principal of the Squirrels is already there, alone on the other side of the long table, dressed in his robes of office.

I already have a feeling about which one is the cleverest. But with squirrels you never know.

The hard hats that @Ms. Hazeltine has been passing out are not sufficient protection. You know they’ve run out of nuts and are using rocks and bricks. Kids with broken arms everywhere. And somebody found a crude caltrop in the main yard. Because they are smelting metal now!!! We need more than hard hats @Ms. Hazeltine.

".... and in the chaos, when the power's gone out and the squirrels are breaking through the perimeter, we just walk right in and take it."

Everyone at the table just looked at me like I was out of my mind.

"You're out of your mind, Jen. There's a lot more than just a locked vault, and laser tripwires. There's wards. And shields. Enchantments, mind viruses..."

"We've got three janitorial coveralls with full magic and psychic PPE. They're decked out with sigils and tinfoil over the vulnerable bits. We slip in during the chaos, help direct the guards out--for their own safety, of course--and we're out of there before anyone thinks twice."

"And the Gem of Significance is ours," said Big Jaimie, her fingers steepled in front of her nose. "I like it."

There is a squirrel ceasefire!

You probably noticed the noise of the endless rain of nuts has stopped and windows aren't breaking any more and the lack of sirens.

But it wasn't @Ms. Hazeltine that brokered it. She hasn't come out of her cottage for a week! It was the Principal of the Squirrels that convinced the President of the Squirrels to call it off because it wasn't in the Interest of the Squirrels to keep it up. On the account of the specter of the Exterminator.

It seems to be holding but it's created a schism within the squirrels between the factions. The President doesn't believe in the Exterminator. He says it's an outdated myth since no living squirrel can ever remember seeing it. But for now the Principal of the Squirrels seems to have the numbers.