Extrasensory Archery Club

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- 4/25/2020 10:57am

Hello! So, does anyone know where I can sign up for the archery team and the swim team? I'm new here, so an orientation might be nice too. Thanks!

Marian Day
- 4/25/2020 12:47pm

Extrasensory Archery got moved to 4pm today, @CallMeEm, since the arrows were misbehaving and they all ran off so we're in the woods collecting them now. But come by the field by the Old Corral at 4 and we'll be all set up!

Ms. Hazeltine
- 5/2/2020 2:06pm

I certainly enjoyed getting a bit of fresh air with the Extrasensory Archery Club this morning! Did I mention I went to state finals in E.A. when I was your age?

Anyway, even though the traction cage still limits my movements a great deal, I was still able to guide the arrow through the forest, across the yard, into the Spoonbender, and pierce the apple on top of @Marian Day's head. Yes I've still got it!

Ms. Hazeltine
- 5/9/2020 4:04pm

It was another invigorating day out on the Extrasensory Archery Field. Such beautiful weather! And I do so love being out there with you students. While I’m still in traction, they’ve figured out how to prop me up in a full standing position—it’s sort of a “ TRACtion suit“ ha ha get it? I still can’t move my arms and legs. Or head. But of course none of that’s really necessary for Extrasensory Archery now is it?

It was a bit embarrassing today when one of my arrows just refused to return. Off somewhere hiding in the woods. I don’t think this one’s shy, it just has an attitude. But I’m having quite a bit of trouble retrieving it.

“Here, Pierce! Come on home now! You’ve made your point. Here Piercy Piercy Piercy! Here Pierce!”

Ms. Hazeltine
- 5/23/2020 11:47pm

What a delightful day out on the Extrasensory Archery Field! While my mobility is still greatly restricted, the psychic med techs have made some wonderful enhancements to my traction suit, which now allows me to stroll on my own two exoskeleton encased legs! With just a little bit of amplification, my own brainwaves are enough to power and direct the suit. I may have crushed @Marian Day's foot a bit as we were lining up but she's such a dear she never complains about anything.

I do so miss my arrow, Pierce, ever so much. That naughty arrow. I really thought it would have returned by now. It pains me to think of it, shivering under some tree, its fletching all ragged, mud on the shaft. It's so sad to think of it so lost an alone.

I've set up the usual small shrines around the edge of the wood to call Pierce back. You take a tin can and cut a little door in it, then place little meaningful mementos of your life inside each one. Something that gives off your psychic scent. Hopefully some bit of it will waft into the woods and Pierce will come out to find it.

Pierce Arrow
- 6/22/2020 8:24pm

I know I often tease @Ms. Hazeltine about her shooting technique, but she certainly shot me straight and true when she let me fly.

45 days ago now and still flying! Ripped right through the pointless forest almost immediately, and tore a ding dang hole through the fabric of reality. Which, let’s face it, is pretty thin around here, but it takes a careful aim to properly pull that off.

I will need to compliment her.

If I ever make it back.

Ms. Hazeltine
- 6/27/2020 4:37pm

What a wonderful day on the Extrasensory Archery course! So nice to see so many lovely summer students taking up this ancient discipline, and to be there on the day that we found our first signs of my beloved @Pierce Arrow! It made it doubly nice. 

The singing arrows I let off last week returned with a new song, which went something like this:

Where do you run to?
Little arrow of mine?
Through a hole! Through a hole!
Ripped through space and time!

My traction suit wouldn’t allow me to traipse our into the wood (some kind of safety setting I’ll need to look into fixing) but @Marian Day and her troop of Junior Psychic Rangers followed Lou, the lead singing arrow, back to the event horizon of the puncture Pierce made in the fabric of reality. Big enough to drive a tractor through, Marian says. 

They’ve marked off the area with psy-tape and alerted @Janitor Pete and the groundskeeping staff. Of course school rules don’t allow me to send anyone through to look for Pierce, but we can at least keep watch for his return. 

And while yes, I am an experienced extrasensory archer, I don’t believe I’ve ever shot an arrow quite that far before. Undoubtedly my power must have been more amplified by my traction suit than I knew! I must dig up those instructions that came with the suit and look into it. 


A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator

Pierce Arrow
- 7/3/2020 11:44pm

When you puncture a hole in reality, a lot of people picture a doorway, a portal, a window to another world. That's what I pictured anyway, back in arrow school.

But when they're tipping you eldritch lonsdaleite, prayed over for nine months by a team of chemists from the witches union, they teach you about that stuff for real.

What really happens is a great, screeching nothingness. You've ripped a hole that, by all the rules of physics, is not supposed to be there. By definition, nature doesn't have a fallback plan. You just tore a hole in its dress, pricked a puncture in the picture. Cracked the aquarium. And went through.

The thing about arcanely charged lonsdaleite arrowheads is they leave a very clean hole. No ragged edge to start tearing reality a new one, if you know what I mean. It's a small hole and it stays small. You might not even notice it except for the whooshing sound as it starts sucking your world into it. On account of the reality differential. But that only lasts till the hole plugs itself by trying inhale something bigger than itself. Like a book, or a log, or a small dog, or whatever happens to be laying around when the hole gets punched.

So, back where I came through, they should be looking for some leaves or moss or a clump of bark that's just hanging about six feet in the air, I think. And they better not unplug it till they get some psy-stitchers out there to patch it up.

Meanwhile, me... just zooming through the great screeching nothingness that lies beyond.

Ms. Hazeltine
- 7/11/2020 7:56pm

Oh I am just sure this groundskeeping debacle is about me, because most things usually are. Against all odds (laid by the Witches Union) my poor arrow should have at best made a two-inch hole, but @Marian Day swears it’s quite large and potentially unstable. My connections in the administration building deny it, but @Marian Day Is taking her troop of Junior Psychic Rangers back into the woods to reconnoiter. Which is quite clearly against school policy at this time, but, as Marion’s psychic counselor and sixth degree spiritual jazzercise instructor, I am sworn to secrecy.

Now how do you work these buttons again? This set to private channel, right?

Marian Day
- 7/19/2020 8:13pm

Troop 227 of the Junior Psychic Rangers lost a trooper today, and I’m sad to say it was our newest recruit — @CallMeEm. As Triskaidexter of our unit, I take full responsibility for putting her in a position she wasn’t fully prepared for.

While measuring the perimeter of the GAB manifold, Trooper Em’s lifeline lost connection and she was pulled within the event horizon.

I have offered my resignation as Triskaidexter (now just Dodecaxter), but it has been denied by the troop.

Full Psychic Ranger Rites will be performed for Trooper Em tonight at the lodge treehouse. All are welcome to attend, though outsiders will be blindfolded for the Revealing of Mysteries portion of the service.

May the Eagle’s Eye be with you, @CallMeEm.

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