Extrasensory Archery Club
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Ms. Hazeltine - 8/18/2020 7:05pmOh dear. @
Marian Day and her troop of Junior Psychic Rangers seem to have slipped off the map. Literally!
Inline with the Junior Psychic Ranger code, we needed to wait two weeks before making this announcement, as they were all quite clearly observed being sucked through the hole in reality. Which I made. I can't help but feel somewhat responsible!
Anyway, you need to give Junior Psychic Rangers two weeks to give them a chance to be contacted via seance, but, though we've held a table at the Spoon Bender every night, we've received no messages. Well, no messages from any of the Junior Psychic Rangers, at least. Someone drew the Ouija board on to the table with a sharpie, so it's become somewhat of an annoying magnet for all kinds of stray spirits, but none of them are presenting the appropriate call signs for Troop 227.
Alas! I'm afraid we're on the brink of calling in the Psychic Corps of Engineers to close up the hole, after which those brave rangers will have even a harder time getting back. If they haven't already been shredded by the terrific dimensional forces, or merely dying of boredom in the Great Nothings.
I'll still be holding court at the nightly seance till we have some kind of closure. Though I still need to wear my brainwave powered exoskeleton, such improvements have been made that both getting to the Spoon Bender as well as leading a seance are well within my power. Now that the metals in my exoskeleton have been properly grounded.
If you have any information through your own connections to The Great Beyond, we would be relieved to hear it.
Sincerely,
A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator
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Marian Day - 8/4/2020 9:20pm"Hooooo-eeeet! Hooooo-eeeet!"
Junior Psychic Ranger Harlow gives us the sign she's in position, at the far end of the reality hole.
"Caw! Caw! Krikrikrikri!"
I answer back.
Then, both of our teams start pulling the quantum net closer, over the meadow and towards the edge of the gaping hole in reality. The goal is to v-e-r-y c-a-r-e-f-u-l-l-y pull the net into position, just this side of the event horizon, and secure it with cognitive gravity stakes. If we do it right, it should create a kind of trap -- like in a drain -- to catch anything before it can go through.
But if we get it wrong and it comes in contact with the even horizon, we've got to make sure we don't fall in after it.
We're all tied off on the biggest nearby trees, and anchored via memory belts we had to mediate for 3 hours to achieve. Now if we can just pull it off, like we did 100 times on the training field.
Closer... closer...
Pierce Arrow - 7/27/2020 8:44pmYup. There goes nothing.
There it goes again.
Still nothing.
Nothing speeding by.
It almost feels like I'm not moving at all.
Ok, it seems exactly like I'm not moving at all. Since there's absolutely nothing around me to gauge it by, I guess you could say I'm not moving at all. Or not any more than you are when you think you're standing still, because you're not. You're on a rock hurtling in a wide circle at 67,000 miles an hour, and that rock is spinning at 1000 miles an hour. But to you, you're sitting still, right?
Well same here.
In fact, I wonder what would happen if I just got up and turned to the left...
A ha! An exit sign.
Marian Day - 7/19/2020 8:13pmTroop 227 of the Junior Psychic Rangers lost a trooper today, and I’m sad to say it was our newest recruit — @
CallMeEm. As Triskaidexter of our unit, I take full responsibility for putting her in a position she wasn’t fully prepared for.
While measuring the perimeter of the GAB manifold, Trooper Em’s lifeline lost connection and she was pulled within the event horizon.
I have offered my resignation as Triskaidexter (now just Dodecaxter), but it has been denied by the troop.
Full Psychic Ranger Rites will be performed for Trooper Em tonight at the lodge treehouse. All are welcome to attend, though outsiders will be blindfolded for the Revealing of Mysteries portion of the service.
May the Eagle’s Eye be with you, @
CallMeEm.
Ms. Hazeltine - 7/11/2020 7:56pmOh I am just sure this groundskeeping debacle is about me, because most things usually are. Against all odds (laid by the Witches Union) my poor arrow should have at best made a two-inch hole, but @
Marian Day swears it’s quite large and potentially unstable. My connections in the administration building deny it, but @
Marian Day Is taking her troop of Junior Psychic Rangers back into the woods to reconnoiter. Which is quite clearly against school policy at this time, but, as Marion’s psychic counselor and sixth degree spiritual jazzercise instructor, I am sworn to secrecy.
Now how do you work these buttons again? This set to private channel, right?
Pierce Arrow - 7/3/2020 11:44pmWhen you puncture a hole in reality, a lot of people picture a doorway, a portal, a window to another world. That's what I pictured anyway, back in arrow school.
But when they're tipping you eldritch lonsdaleite, prayed over for nine months by a team of chemists from the witches union, they teach you about that stuff for real.
What really happens is a great, screeching nothingness. You've ripped a hole that, by all the rules of physics, is not supposed to be there. By definition, nature doesn't have a fallback plan. You just tore a hole in its dress, pricked a puncture in the picture. Cracked the aquarium. And went through.
The thing about arcanely charged lonsdaleite arrowheads is they leave a very clean hole. No ragged edge to start tearing reality a new one, if you know what I mean. It's a small hole and it stays small. You might not even notice it except for the whooshing sound as it starts sucking your world into it. On account of the reality differential. But that only lasts till the hole plugs itself by trying inhale something bigger than itself. Like a book, or a log, or a small dog, or whatever happens to be laying around when the hole gets punched.
So, back where I came through, they should be looking for some leaves or moss or a clump of bark that's just hanging about six feet in the air, I think. And they better not unplug it till they get some psy-stitchers out there to patch it up.
Meanwhile, me... just zooming through the great screeching nothingness that lies beyond.
Ms. Hazeltine - 6/27/2020 4:37pmWhat a wonderful day on the Extrasensory Archery course! So nice to see so many lovely summer students taking up this ancient discipline, and to be there on the day that we found our first signs of my beloved @
Pierce Arrow! It made it doubly nice.
The singing arrows I let off last week returned with a new song, which went something like this:
Where do you run to?
Little arrow of mine?
Through a hole! Through a hole!
Ripped through space and time!
My traction suit wouldn’t allow me to traipse our into the wood (some kind of safety setting I’ll need to look into fixing) but @
Marian Day and her troop of Junior Psychic Rangers followed Lou, the lead singing arrow, back to the event horizon of the puncture Pierce made in the fabric of reality. Big enough to drive a tractor through, Marian says.
They’ve marked off the area with psy-tape and alerted @
Janitor Pete and the groundskeeping staff. Of course school rules don’t allow me to send anyone through to look for Pierce, but we can at least keep watch for his return.
And while yes, I am an experienced extrasensory archer, I don’t believe I’ve ever shot an arrow quite that far before. Undoubtedly my power must have been more amplified by my traction suit than I knew! I must dig up those instructions that came with the suit and look into it.
Sincerely,
A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator
Pierce Arrow - 6/22/2020 8:24pmI know I often tease @
Ms. Hazeltine about her shooting technique, but she certainly shot me straight and true when she let me fly.
45 days ago now and still flying! Ripped right through the pointless forest almost immediately, and tore a ding dang hole through the fabric of reality. Which, let’s face it, is pretty thin around here, but it takes a careful aim to properly pull that off.
I will need to compliment her.
If I ever make it back.
Ms. Hazeltine - 5/23/2020 11:47pmWhat a delightful day out on the Extrasensory Archery Field! While my mobility is still greatly restricted, the psychic med techs have made some wonderful enhancements to my traction suit, which now allows me to stroll on my own two exoskeleton encased legs! With just a little bit of amplification, my own brainwaves are enough to power and direct the suit. I may have crushed @
Marian Day's foot a bit as we were lining up but she's such a dear she never complains about anything.
I do so miss my arrow, Pierce, ever so much. That naughty arrow. I really thought it would have returned by now. It pains me to think of it, shivering under some tree, its fletching all ragged, mud on the shaft. It's so sad to think of it so lost an alone.
I've set up the usual small shrines around the edge of the wood to call Pierce back. You take a tin can and cut a little door in it, then place little meaningful mementos of your life inside each one. Something that gives off your psychic scent. Hopefully some bit of it will waft into the woods and Pierce will come out to find it.
Ms. Hazeltine - 5/9/2020 4:04pmIt was another invigorating day out on the Extrasensory Archery Field. Such beautiful weather! And I do so love being out there with you students. While I’m still in traction, they’ve figured out how to prop me up in a full standing position—it’s sort of a “ TRACtion suit“ ha ha get it? I still can’t move my arms and legs. Or head. But of course none of that’s really necessary for Extrasensory Archery now is it?
It was a bit embarrassing today when one of my arrows just refused to return. Off somewhere hiding in the woods. I don’t think this one’s shy, it just has an attitude. But I’m having quite a bit of trouble retrieving it.
“Here, Pierce! Come on home now! You’ve made your point. Here Piercy Piercy Piercy! Here Pierce!”
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