I know it's supposed to be "cool" but I really can't abide seeing the dead lurking around all the time. Scores and scores of them, lined up as far as the eye can see, all heading for my house and walking around past the windows. It's unnerving.

Hot take, I know. But it's starting to creep me out.

Our psychic TV weatherman makes playlists instead of forecasts.

I just drive with my mom because I only have a Psychic Learner's Permit and she won't let me drive with anybody else. She wears a blindfold but still is totally backseat driving the whole time. Tied up in the back seat. It was her old mentalism routine from back when she was in show businesses. She's insufferable.

When the train goes by at night it rattles the webs of the spiders in my back yard. Same as me.