My physical symptoms seem to have subsided. The nurse said my insatiable hunger for raw meat may have been a side effect off the anti-lycanthropy poultice she put on my zombie roadkill bite, and the wooziness was related to my lactose intolerance, especially in light of the three milkshakes I had at the Polka Dot. She suggested I go full vegan for awhile but that means I can't eat anything at the Polka Dot, because I think they cook their fries in lard.
But that creepy dead badger just won't lay off! It's like it's always in the corner of my eye, but when I turn real fast, he's gone. I can always smell him though. Sometimes more than others. Like at night, sitting on the couch in my dorm room, watching Psyflix on my magna-lobe device, sometimes I'll get such a big whiff I makes me throw up in my mouth a little. But I can never find him in the shadows, or under my bed when I stick the broom under there. I'm going to go online maybe there's an amulet or something for it.
Ugh. I don't feel so good. The nurse put some kind of poultice on my bite--I think she was mostly worried about lycanthropy--but I dunno... I feel... woozy. And hungry. Hungry like I've never been before. I went down to that little hamburger stand on the edge of town and kept ordering their dollar burgers till they cut me off. And so then I had one vanilla shake, one chocolate shake, and one strawberry shake. And a bunch of fries to dunk into the shakes. Maybe that's why I'm so woozy.
But all I wanted was MEAT! MEAT and MORE MEAT! And the rarer the better.
Eventually the owner chased me away with a broom. But it's really a great place. You should go there. It's called the Polka Dot.
Ok and on top of that, I keep feeling like that roadkill badger is following me around. I've been noticing bits of fur stuck on doors, paths of dried goo on the floors. I took the bus down to the Polka Dot and on the way the bus driver stopped and opened the door but I didn't see anybody get it... probably because that badger is so short!
Oh god here it comes again. Ughhhh.... uhhhhh.... grrrrrrr.... grrrrrrrrrr... GRRRRRRRR!!!!!
I got bit real bad by a roadkill badger this morning. Ow. It's starting to ooze.
I was crossing the street from the bus stop and a small herd of roadkill -- badgers, skunks, possums, even a deer -- rushed out of the edge of the woods, snarling and heading down the road. Pretty sure they were all dead--they sure smelled that way--and had all manner of broken, twisted limbs and hanging jaws, ribs and leg bones breaking through, blood pretty congealed, tire tracks on their hides.
It made me think of you, @Abigail C
. Were the bodies from the Board of Dead trade not enough? Seriously, I can get all you need. No reason to resort to roadkill!
Now I got to get to the school nurse and have this bite looked at.
Did somebody say bodies?
If you’re still in the market, @Abigail C
, I’ve got what you need. Fresh from my buddy at the Board of Dead Trade.
Meet me at the loading dock behind the cafeteria at midnight. The code word is “Liverstocking.”