A reminder to all students that Reality Abroad programs will be starting in May. If you haven't yet applied for a program, the signup sheet is on the bulletin board outside of my office.

Reality Abroad programs are funded and awarded through generous grants from the @GROTTO G.S.M. INC. foundation, as well as bribes from wealthy parents and those in a position to extort certain members of the administration.

Reality Abroad programs are conducted under the auspices of the Reality Generation Department of Psychic High School. All personal belongings, rights, rites, memories, obligations, and expectations will be relinquished by participants and tagged and logged by reality generator operating staff before entering the reality generators.

Sign up today! Before it's too late!

Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator

@Ms. Hazeltine what should we pack for our Reality Abroad homestays? My mom says toilet paper but would that be rude?

To be clear, @Yvette L, no belongings whatsoever are allowed on Reality Abroad trips. The Reality Generators just can't process them. Frankly, the Reality Generators can't even reliably process... what? Oh, yes, you're right. Enough said about that.

Students with their Reality Abroad paperwork, including properly completed permission slips and teacher approvals: Meet at the Reality Generator Studios starting tomorrow at 11am.

Looking forward to seeing each of you transmuted!

Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator

My Reality Abroad host family is great. They're an upper-class family of protozoa, and I have my own room with a view of the whole colony. After arriving we spun our flagella and swam down to the city park, and they taught me to move food into my cytostome with my cilia. Frankly it was a little gross and I started to feel really ill, but they said that's fine I just wasn't used to their water yet.

So I might've fucked up and got sent to the wrong reality. This place is weird and it makes my head hurt. How do I get out? It smells like mushrooms...

Somehow I got placed in the reality where three-eyed people fly spaceships shaped like pyramids. My new body doesn't fit so well (my third eye is making me dizzy!) but my host unit is helping me adjust.

There's one member of my unit who is being especially kind to me, and has taken to stroking my feathery ganglia, which is giving me strange feelings. Is this ok? Nobody else in my unit seems to think it's weird but I hardly know these people yet.

Oh dear. Apparently the tech people didn't have a thingy turned up high enough, and students have been being placed into generated realities with their memories intact.

We deeply apologize for this error. Memory retrieval teams will be visiting the students already placed, and all future participants in the Reality Abroad program will be transferred free of any such baggage.

Sincerely,

A. Hazeltine
Student Activities Coordinator

I'm so confused I arrived at my Reality Abroad homestay family's house and they were really nice and it wasn't weird at all. They spoke my language and their food was good and I didn't get sick, and we went for walks around their town and all the smells are really intense and different but the people were nice.

But then Psyhigh school representatives showed up with their briefcases and dark glasses and my homestay family told me to stay in my room. Then after they went away my host family hid me in the back of their aircar under a blanket and we went to their beach house.

My host family says those people were something called a Memory Retrieval Team and they were here for my memories and my homestay family thought it was wrong to take my memories. They don't think they will follow us out here but I'm so confused I don't know what to do.

I don’t know who those strange creatures in dark suits were who visited us and gave me tests but I sure did like the lollipop they gave me. Butterscotch bacteria is my favorite! Now it’s time to watch protozoan tv shows before bedtime but sometimes I have trouble falling asleep on Sundays when they are school nights.