New Year, New You

earliest post first | most recent post first

- 12/26/2016 10:21pm

Oh my, a new year is dawning and I have come to quite a terrifying realisation: I have absolutely no clue what year it shall be!

If somebody would be so kind as to clarify that for me I would be extremely grateful, but it seems as though I have no friends to ask. However, I did indeed overhear the possibility of a 'New Year's Party,' whatever that would involve. @Big Jim, are the festivities going ahead?

I feel it would be an acceptable time to befriend fellow classmates of this era and discover the answer to which year we are approaching.

Crystal Rosethorn
- 12/28/2016 9:25am

@Big Jim,will there be a "new year" party of sorts? It would be fun,and well i do have a few ideas,you just have to let me bring my would only by my 2 and they are very tamed,and good at firework displays. Oh and maybe a few moonlight sprites for added sparkle! It's just an idea but please consider.

Big Jim
- 12/29/2016 12:14am


Many people drop by my office or stop me in the halls and say, "Hey @Big Jim! Is there going to be a New Year's Party this year or what?"

For students whose Chronal Identities (or CI's) are set to the Roman calendar, your New Year will begin on January 1. Your upcoming year will be determined by the results of your Suggested Mandatory Personality Tests.

@GROTTO G.S.M. INC. will be facilitating the ceremony on New Year's Eve. Please send your completed Suggested Mandatory Personality Tests to @GROTTO G.S.M. INC. so your New Year can be fully preprogrammed before January 1.

Students who have not yet turned in their completed Suggested Mandatory Personality Tests include Wayfarer Brainchild, Krazno the Strange, M-144b, LucretiaT, Saffron Bittervine, Burt Williamson, Gewy, Kumiko Israel, @Crystal Rosethorn, @Charlotte, and Legs McKenzie.

Get those Suggested Mandatory Personality Tests turned in soon!


Big Jim
Student Activities Coordinator
Class of '99

Carly Empteen
- 12/29/2016 12:13pm

Ever since I got into Invisible Life Hacks my life has been so much better. Like this one. It is like a milky green trapezoid that I use to stand on when I can't see over the counter of the "Life's Little Surprises" convenience store. I mean, if it wasn't invisible and you could see it. Or the hairy brown glove that I wear when I need to use my five-fingered discount in the Priceless Luck Dollar Store.

I sent the results of my personality test to @GROTTO G.S.M. INC. in a two dimensional flat-rate envelope via two-day psychological air. Can't wait to see what my New Year holds! In the meantime I'll use the Cinderella "Dream-a-Little-Dream" Invisible Life Hack to whip up something swanky for New Year's Eve. See u all there!!!

- 12/29/2016 1:36pm

Well, here we go again. New Years is closing in, and student scheming rates have increased by 76.334% (or at least that's what my roommate's T-89 seance calculator says. It also said that we sacrifice five virgin frogs to it before 2017 hits, but it always is asking for amphibian offerings so that's nothing new).

Every time one of the fifteen(?) calendar systems used by Psyhigh students hits a New Year, the secret parties start. Whispered plans, olfactory coded invitations, spirit animals sneaking contraband onto school grounds... and the Gregorian calender's New Years is when things get REALLY crazy.

I've already been invited to five separate parties, each more secretive than the last. Honestly, I don't know why everyone is so paranoid. The teachers have been acting brain dead for the past couple weeks. I could probably straight up invite them to the party and they'd just stare at me with those cold, blank eyes and mutter things about "GROTTO G.S.M. INC" or "UNIT LOST CONNECTION TO: psychic high ghost servers" or whatever. Yo, Psyhigh Administration if you're reading this, can we please go a couple months without the teaching staff losing their marbles? Seriously.

ANYWAY, I'm totally behind this big school-supported New Years party. Sure, it might not be as wild, but it means I won't have to use the Manifestor Fragmented Personality incantation to attend all these different student-hosted events. I did that last year, and now whenever I feel apathy or eat purple food Mozart's Piano Concerto No. 24 plays in my left ear.

Not to mention, anything that the Student Activities Coordinators put together is usually pretty epic. I'm even willing to fill out this fifty-seven page "Suggested Mandatory Personality Test" if it means I get to go. Call me a conformist, but I know where the real action is going to be come New Year's Eve!

Big Jim
- 12/31/2016 6:13pm


On the off chance that @GROTTO G.S.M. INC. is experiencing a service disruption, participating Roman Calendar students are asked to perform an interpretive dance of the answers to their Suggested Mandatory Personality Tests in Mesmer Hall beginning at 9pm, reverse alphabetically by their etheric names.

Tulka will be checking student IDs at the door.

See you there!


Big Jim
Student Activities Coordinator
Class of '99

Add a journal entry to New Year, New You