Our current mission is to do with some bankers. They're taking loads of money and using it wrongly which is like, evil. They've got underground werecreature fight rings for gods sake! But let me tell you, it gets worse than that.

Guess who's undercover?

Guess who's a werefighter?

Guess who's trapped in a costume covered in glittery sequins?

If you answered Jess Gynn to all of those questions you'd be entirely right. For all the shame, Argumentative Redhead had to add a few drops of werecat scent onto my face so I'd transform my entire head for a while. And..! I've got a muzzle! A thick black one which hides my entire head except my eyes. It flattens my beautiful ears!

These exercises are fun but also sometimes really weird. Good news is that the patrons have decided I'm no risk to them and Lady Legume, my "trainer", has chosen to enter me into the fights. It's necessary to gain access to the bankers, but really?

I'm in one of the holdcells. Just opposite me is a very scared looking squirrel. Every so often it grows bigger and gets the beginnings of a human nose, and then shrinks down like it's been stung. It takes me a while to understand what's going on here, but when I did I was sick. Electrotherapy. Controlled shocks. This poor weresquirrel must be going mad! I wonder what his family think is going on. Now that I think about it, PsyHigh's local ferret-esque "vermin" seemed to hold a funeral the other day, except that there was no... oh god.

The squirrel turns to me and starts making movements with his paws. My muzzle hides some of my field of view, but the wonderful capability of cats is that excellent night vision. As such, even in the gloom I can see what it's doing.

...

It's sign language! I quietly thank the Universe that Heerg'amal taught me so many forms of it. This one seems to be XOL.

"Help me," he signs. Over and over.

Now, I don't know if there's guards here and my guess is yes, so I use sign back. "What can I do?"

He sits up straighter and looks me closer. He's stopped trying to transform back into a human now, and honestly I'm glad. "They want me to fight a werecat!" he signs back.

Now I hesitate. "What was the cat called? Who sponsored it?"

He thinks for a few seconds. "Its owner was called Anita, maybe."

I know that's me now, so I make a relieved noise. The muffle from the muzzle (goodness that's tricky to say) makes it a little... weird sounding. It's somewhere between a chuckle and a strained yelp.

"I can help you, just listen..."

SO STOKED that I got invited on a field trip with the League of Saviours! Now that I'm an official member I guess I get to do stuff like that. Did you know they even have their own plane? It's called the The Deliverer. Get it? Because it delivers us? Anyway I hear it's pretty swanky inside, and it's an overnighter so we'll get to sleep in it. Like it's an airplane AND a camper? So cool. Can't wait! We leave tonight, but they won't tell us where we're going till we're in the air. So mysterious!!! LOVE IT.

Oh and do you know that student named @Randy Carter? With the dreamy accent? He was chatting me up at the gym the other day, and seemed to know all about the League. Which is unusual because most people have never heard of it. Anyway, he gave me a bunch of his favorite comics to read on the plane--they're called The Forever Cabal. Frankly they're a little moldy but I'm packing them anyway. Not sure what else to pack though because of all the secrecy! Sunscreen? Parka? Do they have shampoo on the plane? Guess I'll find out tonight! Can't. Wait.

Oh man, that felt good! I feel so refreshed and happy after doing that teambuilding exercise with the rest of the group! They even had a police commissioner guy stand and shake hands with all of us and congratulate us on a successful mission! These missions are great.

I'm just heading into Dark and Brooding 101, so I'll write more later.

God I feel so refreshed after that session with @Anita Klue at the League of Saviours secret hideout. It's only secret because it's cooler that way, or at least that's what they told me on Initiation Night.

It was Anita's Initiation last night, so let me tell you what happened.

We all gathered around in a circle in Psyker robes (they change to suit the occasion for you rather than the other way around - handy) and began meditating.

The elected leader that night - the League don't have a singular leader, only Elders who have the knowledge and understanding to lead us in the right direction (they take it in turns to chair meetings and stuff) - he led us in a chant. One of the Elders released his familiar, a ghostlike dog, who began running around with a bag clasped in his teeth.

Well, I tell you, it made me so woozy I passed out!

As did the rest of the League. It gathered us in a Psychic hall, sort of like a conference room really. We all sat and watched as Anita showed the Elders her skills. She was really good, and it seemed the Elders thought so too, as they led us all in a chant again. It went something like this:

Guide us,
Guide us,
Let us be righteous,

Let us see the True Light,
Let us feel the True Light,
Let us cleanse the world of Blight,

Initiate of gears and steel,
Who has come to us to heal,
Before the True Light now you kneel,

Guide us,
Guide us,
Let us be righteous

And just like that, the Elders came forward and presented Anita with her ceremonial sword and a Datachip which she plugged immediately into her forehead. She seemed ecstatic. I'm really proud of her!

Y'know, Dr Krimsborg has the wrong idea about the League. All of them are really good people who help you get fitter than you'd ever believe and improve your self esteem. The other day when I was a gleaming orange tabby, they bought me one of those cat towers for the common room. I was feeling left out of activities that required opposable thumbs.

Fortunately Lady Legume saw the future and had ordered it ahead of time so that it could be assembled by Argumentative Redhead. She was stressed and needed something of a relaxing project rather than stressful projectiles. Well, I was very grateful and let her stroke my tummy. I think she likes me. She was very unargumentative for the rest of the day, absently scratching at my ears. I like her. She knows just where to itch.

Anyway, I think now Anita is an Initiate, we can hang out more and maybe go on some teambuilding exercises together! They're super cool, one of them is stopping a fake bank robbery! They even have fake guns, it's super realistic and is great for self esteem.

On the doctor's advice, I've taken up rental poetry.

Rental poetry allows for the simulation of creative muscle flexing, but doesn't actually exert the muscles. Because it's simulated. And covered by my insurance.

Stare, stare like a bear,
then you'll know me anywhere
Stare, stare like a bear,
call your mother Ginger Hair
Sharp shadow

Kind of like a fidget for your poetry muscle?

Nah, it really isn't doing it for me either.

But what IS making me feel TONS better is working out with the League of Saviours! Lady Legume, @Jess Gynn, Argumentative Redhead, Justine Sorcerer, Wanda de L'amour, Ms. Samson, Sherri Turtle, Banana Tigris and the rest.

Frankly, I was kind of a mess, what with the staples shooting out of my eyes, and the cellotape fingers, my paper clip whip tail... I was just kind of breaking stuff in my dorm room and around campus. But at the League of Saviours they're super into all that and helping me control it. Plus gymnastics, which I used to do way back at Conventional Elementary but haven't for years. Now I can do a one-handed cartwheel off a ledge, hit five targets with my staples, land with my legs around one practice dummy's neck while I tape up another and lasso the feet of Lady Legume with my paper clip chain (if she's not paying attention). Now THAT's what I came to Psyhigh for!

Stare, stare like a bear,
then you'll know me anywhere
Stare, stare like a bear,
call your mother Ginger Hair
Shiver and smile