I've been making money on Graybodies almost every night. I go to the bench near the gardens, pull out the app, click on YES and bam! That's it, I'm done. About 5 hours go by but to me it's like no time has passed at all... except that I'm so stuffed I can hardly move, and I've usually got greasy stains all over my hands and shirt, and usually some ketchup and ice cream too. The past couple of days I've ended up with a bunch of receipts stuffed in my pockets--receipts from Walmart and BestBuy, for stuff like Instapots and bread machines and fondue makers and rotisseries. And expensive stuff like 72" plasma screens. I have no idea what's going on, but they keep tipping me.

Meanwhile, during the days, the garbage just keeps piling up. Where does it all come from? Do people just drive by on the road and dump their fast food garbage out their windows? Styrofoam and plastic wrap and boxes too. I put on my orange vest and fill bags and bags with it to go to the landfill and come back the next day and start all over again. The Adopt-a-Highway sign that says "Sponsored by Psychic High School" probably doesn't help because people think we just clean it up. Which I do.

Two new options showed up in my Graybodies app. Splurge Pricing and Binge. You can take advantage of them if you go hang out at the strip mall. You find a bench near a trash can and hit ACCEPT RIDE and it's like speed dating... except of course you can't remember anything. Well, for a minute you're kind of conscious between rides, so I remember a flash of being in front of the Target, and outside the Olive Garden, and then Taco Bell like six times. I've got to remember to wear loser fitting clothes.

It's been harder to keep up with all the garbage, and not just because I've put on so much weight after starting with Graybodies™. There is definitely more garbage than when I started, because I count the bags. During my first week I'd fill up one bag a day, and now it's easily three or four. Mostly fast food wrappers, but also boxes and styrofoam from Best Buy and Target. I keep finding piles of them in the woods. People must be dumping them at night.

Ok and get this--those receipts my Graybodies™ rides have been stuffing my pockets with? Turns out they've been using MY debit card!! That is absolutely NOT part of the deal. Er, well, I'm assuming it's not, but it's not like I actually read all the fine print. There's a customer service number in the app--I'm giving them a call right now.