Rochelle Saltz

earliest post first | most recent post first

The Compost Kids
6/18/2018 9:31am

Dear Editor,

As a psychic youth, I know what it’s like to be different. I fightened away many a nanny with my telekinetic hijinks as a toddler, and one-too-many bad experiences at high school dances brought me here, to Psychic High School, a place where we can be ourselves, and be safe.

But I didn’t enroll at this school to live in a pest-ridden wildlife preserve! Quality of life on campus is taking a nosedive. The grounds are infested with bees, possums, and rats, while the dorms and classrooms have become havens for toads, frogs, salamanders, and centipedes! Not to mention the unsightly dandelions and weeds they’ve allowed to take over the gardens.

My parents pay good money to send me to an institution of higher psychic learning that lives up to the pictures in its brochures. Allowing these Compost Kids free rein to bring about their disgusting and filthy idea of an “ecotopia” is degrading the level of education for everyone.

Furthermore, the lack of any kind of personal hygiene exhibited by the Compost Kids makes it impossible to even be in the same classroom.


Letter to the editor, Psytimes, May 21, 1987