So I guess I got a free slug tattoo during the “lost time” at the dance. Did anybody else get one of those? It’s still kind of swollen—big giant slug all across my leg. It’s a temporary tattoo, right?

I got bit by our fire hydrant today. I was examining it, trying to figure out where the door was, and it took a chunk out of my finger.

What if we answered the ad?

Well I don’t have it near as bad as that. I just want these horns to sink back down into my head. 

Ouch I just got bit by the Coke machine outside the Irrational Students' Lounge.