Jana Day

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The Dukes of Iapetus
6/29/2021 10:56pm

Jana Day here, with the Psychic Student Safekeeping Safekeeping Committee, (PSSSC) and it is our duty to inform you that the The Dukes of Iapetus and all associated commercial holdings on Iapetus (the third-largest natural satellite of Saturn, or TLNSOS) have not received passing scores by the Universal Subcommittee on Psychic Teen Workplaces (USOPTW) in this solar system. They ranked "needs improvement" in terms of student-worker safety, well being, peace of mind, overall physical health, general psychic heath, positivity support, extreme rashes, crying at work, indenturement, bad breath, and toxicity. Not that their toxicity "needs improvement" but the other way around. Same with bad breath.

The PSSSC strongly advises against accepting employment by The Dukes of Iapetus and the school can take no responsibility for your employment thereof.

But if you go can you bring me one of those Saturn snow globes?