Iris Yefremov

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Temple of the Moon
11/28/2022 10:24pm

Inside the pool house the air was fresher than I expected. Not moldy and abandoned smelling like you'd guess. It was like spring, when the world was new.

Doobermann was sparking a lighter.

"A torch? Seriously?" I asked as the flame lit up. "That doesn't seem safe. What if it catches fire in here?"

"Made of stone," he said, watching it burn. "And you can't use a flashlight, anyway."

Doobermann raised the torch and lit up the room. Turned out there was a pool in there, but it was filled with sand.

"Okay!" he said. "Sprinkle away!"

It all seemed like an overly complex way to get rid of old kitty litter, but I untied the little garbage bag and poured it in.

Shadows rustled on the far side of the pool A bird-headed one, a dog-headed one, and a cat-headed one.

I suddenly felt irrationally nervous about dumping the used kitty litter into the pool. But when I looked into the sand, there were no clumps. No crusty kitty poo.

And everything smelled great.

"Okay! Time to go," said Doobermann, snuffing out the torch.

I was fine with that. I couldn't say why but I really wanted to get out of there.

"Yeah, it's a lot," said Doobermann as we started the hike back to the dorms.

On the way, we ran into @Moon Kyle.

"Evening, pet lovers!" Moon Kyle said.

God did everybody know about my cat?

Temple of the Moon
11/25/2022 4:20pm

Doobermann wasn't taking me to the administration building. Or to the office of Esoteric Security. Or even to the dumpster.

"And here we are!" said Doobermann. He looked at me like he wanted a treat.

We were down on lower campus, in a nook of the gardens I didn't recognize. Maybe it was the moonlight. It was a small house made of stone. The entryway was dark. Maybe it was a pool house? But where was the pool?

"The Temple of the Moon," he said. Then he got down on all fours and sniffed the ground.

"Uh. Ok. Thanks," I said. "Why are we here?"

"For the SAND, man!" he said, getting up off the ground. "I thought you'd done this before."

He was referring to the sack of used kitty litter in my hands. The one I wasn't supposed to have.

"Oh! Uh... cool. Do I just dump it on the ground here?"

"'Do I just dump it on the ground here?' Jeesh! Why do you even have a cat?"

I really did not know what to say. I like pets? I'm lonely because I spend most of my time in the Hall of Numbers? Pets give us unconditional affection and--

"Aw, c'mon. Time to pay the piper," he said, and walked into the pool house.

Temple of the Moon
11/16/2022 10:36pm

Since cats aren't allowed in the dorms, you have to be a bit sneaky about disposing of the kitty litter. Because if you get caught--

"Hey there! Iris! I see you have procured the consecrated sand!"

It was Doobermann, the RA.

"What's up doobs? Yeah I'm just... headed to the dumpster! I, uh, broke an hourglass. And a plant fell over. Science experiment."

Doobermann was usually pretty spacey. It's part of why I could get away with having a cat in my room.

"Ha ha, yeah, sure." He gave me a big phony wink. "That's right! We keep it on the downlow. Hey, it's dark. I'll walk you there. C'mon -- let's go."

Doobermann headed out the door and into the commons. There was moonlight on the sidewalks and the grass.

It looked like my jig was up.

Temple of the Moon
11/11/2022 8:15pm

They don’t allow cats in the dorms. They allow fish and hermit crabs and various forms of ectoplasmic familiars. But no birds, no dogs, no cats. No pets with poop you can step in, I guess.

“It’s not on account of the poop,” said my cat. “But it’s a good cover story.”

My cat is never shy with her opinions.

“It’s to control the gods,” she continued. “The bird-headed one, the dog-headed one, and the cat-headed one. Keeps them out of the dorms.”

I had been unaware of this policy.

“That’s because you spend all your time in that Hall of Numbers of yours,” she said.

After dinner, we spent some time planning next week’s menu, then hung out on my bed together listening to music. I figured it was a better night to stay in and not visit the Hall of Numbers.


God that cat box is really starting to stink.

11/4/2022 11:05pm

The three-seven-zero-three is a waystation. A great place for beginners to start.

"Hello Ms. Yefremov. How can we help you today?"

There's a Dex at the desk. Always reliable.

"The Land of Primes, Dex."

Just figured we'd get to them first. Everybody's always so interested in prime numbers.

"Calculating... calculating..."

skrich! skrich skrich skrich!

"Oh, damn, it's the cat."

"Yes, Ms. Yefremov."

"I've got to go back and feed her. Hold the door, won't you Dex?"

"Of course Ms. Yefremov."

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10/31/2022 8:47pm

Though it can take a long time, it is important to count your way up to each of the ILN (Important Large Numbers).

That way, when you reach 300,000,003, you are in the appropriate frame of mind. Because you've taken every step.

You can also then see how you're looking down the very hall of numbers, the


are the central portals in the distance,


300 and 003

are the mouth of the long hallway, curved balustrades, the woodwork on the threshold...reaching out, calling you in...

You're entering my own special door to the Hall of Numbers.

Let's go in, shall we?


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10/25/2022 11:27pm

For instance, one of my favorite Very Large Numbers is 300,000,003.

You're probably saying "Iris, that number isn't really THAT large."

Yeah well you start counting and when you reach 300,000,003 you let me know.

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10/20/2022 10:20pm

I study the magic of certain Very Large Numbers

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