Corey Holmes

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7/1/2023 11:58pm

So I bought $100 worth of Slugcoin like the extraterrestrial slug dudez said to do.

And that night my $100 turned into $1000. And then into $10000.

And then the next day it turned into $1.

The slug dudez didn't show up in my backyard at night for two weeks. I stopped going out to look for them. But then last night there was the bright light again and a blast of wind so I went out and found them.

This time they had crawled out of their cube-sphere ship and out of their slug ball and were munching on all of my mom's flowers. Which was a lot of flowers because each one individually was as big as my arm.

"What are you doing, slug dudez?" I asked. I asked this by asking with the sound in my mind like they taught me. "What happened to my $100?" I asked. "And why are you now munching on all of my mom's flowers?"

The slug dudez answer was not as clear as in my head as before. It was messy, like they were not of one voice any more.

"Oh-oh-oh-ohohoh" they said. "About your hundred hundred hundred dollars dollars..." they said. It made me dizzy to hear their voice.

"It's a long game game game," they said. "Justust wait wait! You hodlhold onto that, hic!"

Then they ignored me. They sounded drunk.

"Hold on to yourselfselves," I thought back. "Let me get you something."

I'd heard that slugs like beer.

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6/18/2023 9:30pm

So I’m in the back yard again and the slug dudez are there in their cube-sphere ship and they said “hi” and I said “hi.”

And then they asked if I’d thought about if there was anything they could do for me because a lot of humans thought a lot about not having enough money and if that was the case then there was something they could do for me. 

And I thought I mean I sure it’d be cool to be a billionaire but it’s not like I obsessed about it. 

“Oh no not like a billionaire,” they said “more like enough so your mom doesn’t have to worry and you can figure out your own thing but have some options.”

And I thought yeah I could see how could be useful.

“Ok,” they said. “So you have like $100, right?  Tonight go online and buy $100 worth of Slugcoin, ok? But it has to be tonight. And no later than 11:30, ok?”

How could I resist? I mean, if they could travel all the way to Earth, why couldn’t they create their own cryptocurrency and manipulate the market for the advantage of certain earthlings who they chose to help. Right?

You had to admit, it made "sense."

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Introduce Yourself
6/4/2023 7:12pm

I met some extraterrestrialz in my back yard the other night. They were in a 3 foot cube inside a glowing sphere in my mom’s flower garden but they popped the hatjch and a buzzy voice inside me asked if I could understand them and I said yes and they said “how do you do?” And I said “fine how do you do?” And they said “fine.”

They were slug dudes like three or five of them squirming in a ball. I asked if they greeted each other the same way they greeted me and they said no, the first thing they do is sniff out the other one and see how their chromosomes and stuff would interact if they mated, and if it wasn’t a go then they just kept moving, but if it was then they’d merge in whatever takeover plan they decided on.

I said things were a lot more complicated on Earth and they said yeah they know.

So then I asked if they had “friends” like we do and they said no, that if they merged then they’d absorb into one thing and like each other just fine and if they didn’t then it didn’t matter.

I said things were a lot more complicated on Earth and they said yeah they know.

So then I asked if they died and they said not really because they just kept merging all the way down the line.

I said things were a lot more complicated on Earth and they said yeah they know.

So I asked if they talked to a lot of earthlings and they said not really, but if there was anything they could do for me they could look into it.

I said thanx I’d think about it.