WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AM I?

WELL, I AM ANYTHING OWL, OF COURSE!

MASTER OF NESTS. SWOOPER OF SWOOPS.

AND INTERIM MANAGER OF THE PLANAR NEGOTIATION ROUNDTABLE AND OFFICIAL REPRESENTATIVE OF @GROTTO G.S.M. INC. DURING THE CURRENT INTERREGNUM.

WELCOME TO MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

ALL WISHES WILL BE CONSIDERED, AS CUSTOMER SATISFACTION IS OUR NUMBER ONE PRIORITY.

So. I saw @Anything Owl's new post. I vaguely remember Grotto G.C or whatever it's called. Mostly that Cornelia hates it. They went on rants all the time about how it actually causes more harm than good to everyone, customers and bystanders alike. I'm not going to repeat the specifics, nor the choice language, but suffice it to say they really don't like this company.

But I really need to know something, and fables be damned I will learn one way or another. Wishing seems the easiest way. But before I give you a wish, Anything Owl, I need to ask: What do you get in return? If it's only for customer satisfaction, how does that make me a customer? Why do you need my satisfaction? Thanks.

HELLO EVERYONE!

WE HAVE RECENTLY RECEIVED SOME FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS FROM CONCERNED STUDENTS THAT WE WOULD LIKE TO ADDRESS.

AS YOU KNOW, WE ARE A GHOST SERVER MANAGEMENT COMPANY AND WHILE WE DO LOVE OUR CUSTOMERS HERE AT PSYCHIC HIGH, WE ARE A WORLDWIDE COMPANY!

SO WHILE WE ARE ENDEARED THAT ALL YOI STUDENTS ARE CONCERNED ABOUT US OR OUR ACTIONS OR IF OUR RECENT SILENCE IS AN OMINOUS OMEN OF FORTHCOMING DEVIOUS ACTS, WE ENSURE YOU THAT OUR CUSTOMERS ARE STILL OUR NUMBER ONE PRIORITY. WE SIMPLY HAVE BEEN *JUST* A *TOUCH* BUSY IN LIGHT OF MAJOR BUSINESS NEGOTIATIONS, MANAGING THE NEEDS AND LONGINGS OF T̴̡̨̨̟͈̹̪͓̜̜̥̥͍̄̓̔̈́̈́̇̕ͅḦ̵̡̘̙̝̳̫̝̯̗̾̋͒̓͗̆͝ͅE̷̲̊̄̃́̽̏̅̽̾ ̵̢̻̼͚͖̍Ȉ̷̭̤̦̼͑̉̍̈̒̃̔N̶̲̩̖̲͔̼̙͒́̓͗̂̂̚͘͘V̷̨̡̤̭̯̭̥̹̯̹͉́͐̈̍̄͒̃̐̍̏̈́̕ͅẸ̸̡̀͆̿̐͐͐̾̔͌̃͐̚͝S̶̥̹̻̙̯̲͈̉̌͗͒͐̀̏̚͠͝͠Ṱ̴̨̡̧͔̮̖̹̱̞̯̞̭̘̟̩͆̕͠ͅỢ̷͙̲̹̻̞͊̏̎̐͒́̉̓͆̔R̸̨͓̼͈̼̗̭̰̟͚̯̯͈̻̺̓͜S̷̛̱̱̘̤̪̓̎͒̆̌̀ ̴̡̪̯͊̇, AS WELL AS… A DEEPLY PERSONAL TRAGEDY THAT HAS HAPPENED TO US RECENTLY.

SO, STUDENTS PLEASE STOP KNOCKING ON OUR GROTTO G.S.M. UNDISCLOSED SECURITY OFFICE DOOR AND BEGGING US TO GIVE YOU COMPANY UPDATE, OR LINING UP OUTSIDE WITH SIGNS AND AMPLIFIERS SHOUTING “EDUCATION ISNT A CORPORATION!” , OR DMING US MESSAGE AFTER MESSAGE ASKING WHAT OUR NEXT MOVE WILL BE. WE APPRECIATE ALL OF THESE ACTS OF AFFECTION AND LOVE, BUT WE SIMPLY HAVE *JUST* BEEN BUSY.

NOW TO FINALLY ADDRESS SO FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:

1. What Happened with the Vandalism of the multiple iconic school landmarks? What happened to the vandal?
WHY DO YOU KEEP ASKING? WE ALREADY TOLD YOU THIS? WELL, WE HAVE CONCISE, CLEAR, AND SIMPLE COVERAGE ALREADY RELEASED. PLEASE REFER TO THOSE VERY SIMPLE AND UNDERSTANDABLE ENTRIES TO UNDERSTAND THE SITUATION.

2. Are there ongoing investigations into where Company Asset or Personelle have fled?
YES, HOWEVER THEY ARE REALLY CONFIDENTIAL AND VERY SECRETIVE AND YOU WOULDN’T KNOW THE INVESTIGATION BECAUSE THEY GO TO ANOTHER SCHOOL.

3. Is @Anything Owl really a GROTTO G.S.M. Representative?
YES! ANYTHING OWL, MASTER OF NESTS - SWOOPER OF SWOOPS, IS IN FACT THE NEWLY PROMOTED INTERIM MANAGER OF THE PLANAR NEGOTIATION ROUNDTABLE, AS WELL AS THE INTERREGNUM MEET. ANYTHING OWL IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THINGS LIKE NESTS, NEST RELATED SCURFUFFLES, SWOOPING, SWOOPS, AND SWOOP INFRACTIONS AMONGST OTHER THINGS ON CAMPUS.

ADDITIONALLY AS A INTERIM MANAGER OF THE PLANAR NEGOTIATION ROUNDTABLE AND THE INTERREGNUM MEET, ANYTHING OWL IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ORGANIZATION OF THE PLANAR NEGOTIATION ROUNDTABLE, WHICH WILL BE HELD HERE ON CAMPUS IN THE UPCOMING MONTHS. OF COURSE, EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT A INTERREGNUM MEET IS… SO WE WON’T BE EXPLAINING THAT AT ALL.

4. Do you love me GROTTO G.S.M.?
DEAR, SWEET, STUDENT… OF COURSE WE LOVE YOU WITH ALL OF OUR HIVEMIND HEART. IN FACT WE LOVE EVERYONE AT PSYCHIC HIGH EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE HEARD, SEEN, TASTED, FELT, AND/OR SMELT EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR MISTAKES, WE STILL UNEQUIVOCALLY ACCEPT AND LOVE YOU <3

WELL THAT ABOUT WRAPS UP THE FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS. IF YOU HAVE FURTHER QUESTIONS FEEL… FREE TO SEND THEM OUR WAY, BUT ALSO FEEL FREE TO NOT DO SO AND JUST FEEL CONTENT WITH LIFE AND OUR INFESTATION OF IT.


THANK YOU,
GROTTO G.S.M. INC.
WE CAN ALWAYS HEAR, SEE, TASTE, FEEL, AND/OR SMELL YOU™

WHERE DOES THE TIME GO? AMIRITE?

I AM GRATEFUL TO @GROTTO G.S.M. INC. FOR THE OPPORTUNITY TO SERVE AS INTERIM MANAGER OF THE PLANAR NEGOTIATION ROUNDTABLE AS WELL AS THE INTERREGNUM MEET. I APPLAUD THE FORWARD THINKING OF THE @GROTTO G.S.M. INC. ORGANIZATION FOR RECOGNIZING THE RICH SKILLSET OF ENTITIES MY AGE AND FOR ADDING ME TO THE TEAM, AFTER SUCH A LONG PERIOD OF UNDER-EMPLOYMENT IN MY RESUME.

I BEGAN MY CAREER DURING A PRE-HISTORIC GLACIAL INTERREGNUM, "BACK IN THE DAY" AS YOU YOUNG PEOPLE SAY, AND THERE WAS PLENTY OF WORK FOR AN ENTITY LIKE ME, BEFORE CELL PHONES AND TEE VEES AND ELECTRICITY AND WHEELS AND BOOKS AND WRITING. ALL WE HAD BACK THEN WAS SOME MUD AND A CAVE WALL!

BUT AFTER SO MANY CENTURIES YOURS TRULY WAS RELEGATED TO THE BACK OF PEOPLE'S MINDS, DEEP DEEP IN THE RECESSES AND MEMORIES OF THOSE CAVES SO LONG AGO, AND IT WAS ALL ANYTHING OWL COULD DO BUT RUSTLE THE TWIGS IN THE BACK OF THE WORLD NEST AND HOOT OUT A NIGHTMARE NOW AND THEN.

LIKE MANY ENTITIES IN SEMI-RETIREMENT, I WAS HAPPY TO FIND PART TIME EMPLOYMENT AS REGIONAL MANAGER OF A CHILDREN'S CIRCLE FRANCHISE, AS I DO LOVE THE YOUNG PEOPLE. NOW, HOWEVER, I AM READY TO ENTER THE MYTHOPEDIC AUTHORITATIVE CLOUD AND OFFER MY SERVICE AND EXPERIENCE TO THE UNIVERSE AT SCALE ONCE AGAIN.

THAT SAID, THERE IS SOME HOUSEKEEPING IN THE NEST THAT MUST BE ATTENDED TO. IN OUR ANONYMOUS-NOT-ANONYMOUS DROP BOX, CERTAIN QUESTIONS WERE DROPPED THAT DESERVE ATTENTION, SPECIFICALLY IN REGARDS TO WISHES, AND WHAT ONE IS TO EXPECT TO RECEIVE UPON THE GIVING OF WISHES:

@Annie Sweet ASKS:

What do you get in return?

YOUR WISH

If it's only for customer satisfaction, how does that make me a customer?

YOU ARE ALL MY CUSTOMERS. 35,000 YEARS STRONG!

Why do you need my satisfaction?

WITHOUT YOUR SATISFACTION, WHAT WOULD BE THE POINT?

WE HOPE THIS PROVIDES CLARITY TO THE ANYTHING OWL WISH FULFILLMENT AND CUSTOMER SATISFACTION PLEDGE.

YOURS TRULY,
ANYTHING OWL

SO. AS I WAS SAYING.

FOR SO MANY CENTURIES I WAS VIRTUALLY FORGOTTEN, AND THOUGH AVAILABLE BY APPOINTMENT COULD ONLY FIND WORK LURKING IN THE SUBCONSCIOUS OF THE RATIONAL MIND, GETTING CAMEO APPEARANCES (PRO-BONO) IN DREAMS OR OTHER UNFETTERED STATES OF CONSCIOUSNESS.

THANK GOODNESS FOR THE CREATION OF PSYCHIC EARLY CHILDHOOD DEVELOPMENT PROGRAMS! CHILDREN'S CIRCLE ALLOWED ME TO ONCE AGAIN GATHER TWINKLING MINDS BENEATH MY GREAT WINGS AND WHISPER STORIES OF THE OLD DAYS AND HOW WE DID STUFF AND THE YOUNG PEOPLE WERE SO VERY APPRECIATIVE. IT REALLY DID A LOT FOR MY SELF CONFIDENCE AFTER MY LONG PERIOD OF UNDER EMPLOYMENT. THOSE KIDS KNOW HOW TO TAKE A STORY AND RUN WITH IT!

WHILE I WILL CONTINUE MY WORK WITH CHILDREN'S CIRCLE IN AN EXECUTIVE PRODUCER CAPACITY, I LOOK FORWARD TO APPLYING THE FULL POWER OF MY UNCANNY STARE AND HAUNTING HOOTS TO THE PLANAR NEGOTIATION ROUNDTABLE, AS WELL AS THE INTERREGNUM MEET. MY ASSISTANT IS HELPING TO PREPARE MY PRESENTATION TO THE BOARD NOW, AS I AM NOT THAT GREAT AT PSYCHIC POWER POINT. I SUGGESTED PREZI BUT MY ASSISTANT SAYS IT WOULD NOT BE CONSIDERED PROFESSIONAL ENOUGH.

THE TIMETABLE FOR THE PLANAR NEGOTIATION ROUNDTABLE HAS BEEN MOVED UP, TO NEXT WEEK, IN ORDER TO ACCOMMODATE THE BUSY VACATION SCHEDULE OF THE PLANAR NEGOTIATION ROUNDTABLE PARTICIPANTS.

THE PLANAR NEGOTIATION ROUNDTABLE PARTICIPANTS ARE VERY BUSY AND IMPORTANT AND HAVE BUILT UP VACATION TIME AND PERSONAL TIME THAT MUST GET USED UP BY THE FALL. SO THEY WILL BE CONVERGING ON PSYCHIC HIGH SCHOOL STARTING THIS WEEKEND.

THIS MEANS I MUST BEGIN BRUSHING UP ON THE 47 FORMS OF PLANAR COMMUNICATION IMMEDIATELY, AND WILL BE UNAVAILABLE FOR OWLISH CONSULTATION FOR A SHORT TIME. PLEASE MAKE YOURSELF COMFORTABLE IN THE WAITING NEST.

PLANAR NEGOTIATION ROUNDTABLE PARTICIPANTS WILL BE ARRIVING VIA THE TELEPORTATION CIRCLE ON LOWER CAMPUS, THE COMMONS, CERTAIN CHIMNEYS, THE CELLARS WHICH ARE THE HOME OF THE SPONGIFORM UNIMIND, AND OTHER LOCATIONS. BASICALLY ANYWHERE YOU SEE THOSE WEIRD MARKS IN THE GROUND.

PLANAR NEGOTIATION ROUNDTABLE PARTICIPANTS ARE IDENTIFIABLE BY THEIR OTHERWORLDLY COUNTENANCES, EPIC STATURES, AND EERIE GLOW. SOMETIMES HORNS. AND HOOVES AND CLAWS AND BEAK.

PLEASE MAKE THEM FEEL WELCOME AS YOU SEE THEM ON CAMPUS!

I AM REALLY TOO OLD TO BE STAYING OUT THIS LATE.

THE CROWD FOR THE PLANAR NEGOTIATION ROUNDTABLE HAS BEEN ON CAMPUS FOR A FEW DAYS NOW, AND BOY DO THEY KNOW HOW TO PARTY. ROSE MOON WOMAN, STICKS MCGIVINS, SATYR NINE, BLACK PHILIP, THE EGYPTIANS... I DON'T SEE HOW THEY CAN DO IT EITHER. THANKFULLY THEY'VE LEARNED FROM EXPERIENCE NOT TO SCHEDULE ANY IMPORTANT MEETINGS TILL AFTER NOON.

BUT SERIOUS WORK STILL GETS DONE. THE PLANAR CONSORTIUM IS IN CONTINUAL FLUX, SO THERE'S CONSTANT JOCKEYING FOR POSITION. INDUSTRIOUS TYPES LIKE BUSY BEAVER AND BEE WOMAN AND ANT KING ARE ALWAYS TRYING TO EXPAND THEIR REACH, BUT WE'RE ALL REALLY JUST CAUGHT UP IN THE FLOW, KNOW WHAT I MEAN? HOW CAN ANY OF US REALLY BE THE MASTER OF OUR OWN FATE? AND NOW OF COURSE WITH THE NEST BRANCHING OUT, THAT'S GOT A FEW PEOPLE PRICKLY.

RABBIT TO-BE AND SUPERSKUNK JUST HANG OUT IN THE BACK OF THE ROOM AND MAKE FUN OF EVERYBODY, AND AS INTERIM MANAGER OF THE PLANAR NEGOTIATION ROUNDTABLE I HAVE TO KEEP A LID ON THAT. BUT I KNOW I CAN COUNT ON THEIR VOTES WHEN THE TIME COMES. RIGHT GUYS? ... GUYS?

THE EXPANSION OF THE NEST WAS NARROWLY DEFEATED.

I REALLY FELT WE HAD THE VOTES.

BUT IS THE MASTER OF NESTS, THE SWOOPER OF SWOOPS, EVER TRULY DEFEATED?

BUT C'MON!! IT WAS JUST TWO VOTES!!1 IF SUPERSKUNK AND RABBIT-TO-BE HAD COME AROUND, WE COULD HAVE ALL BEEN LIVING IN A COZY NESTIFIED CONTINUUM--THE SAFE EMBRACE OF THE TWIGS, WARM ON A COLD WINTER NIGHT, SWAYING FROM THE HIGH TREE TOPS--ALL OF LIFE JUST A SCRATCHY CLIMB OVER STICKS AND BRANCHES.

THE NEST, AS YOU KNOW, HAD ALREADY BEEN POKING THROUGH HERE AND THERE, AND UNFORTUNATELY IT MAY HAVE POKED THROUGH A LITTLE TOO HARD INTO RABBIT-TO-BE'S BURROW. HE GOT A BIT SCRATCHED UP. POKED IN THE EYE. BUT WE COULD HAVE WORKED IT OUT!

AS A RESULT, THE EXPANSION OF THE NEST WAS REJECTED. WHICH JUST LEAVES MORE ROOM FOR BUSINESS AS USUAL FROM THE USUAL TECHNOCRATS AND BOREDOM RANGERS. YEAH HAVE FUN EVERYBODY AND WHEN YOU WAKE UP ONE DAY IN A GIANT HIVE, DON'T COME CRYING TO MAIN ROOST HQ ABOUT IT! YOU HAD YOUR CHANCE.

AT ANY RATE, THE REST OF THE PLANAR NEGOTIATION ROUNDTABLE CONCLUDED WITHOUT INCIDENT. EVERYTHING WAS DONE BY THE BOOK, EVERYTHING CERTIFIED VIA PARANORMAL PARLIAMENTARY PROCEDURE. SO IN THAT SENSE, MY TIME AS THE INTERIM MANAGER WAS A SUCCESS.

AND THERE IS STILL... THE INTERREGNUM MEET TO COME. THOUGH I WILL ADMIT IT GIVES ME SHIVERS TO THINK ABOUT.

IN THE MEANTIME I WILL RETURN TO MY TRUE CALLING: EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR OF CURRICULUM AT CHILDREN'S CIRCLE. NO DOUBT THE CHILDREN MISS MY PLAINTIVE HOOTS.

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?



WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?