Attention all Synthetic Humanoid Club members!

Please welcome our newest member--straight from the woods outside the Montgomery Research Hospital--it’s Trevor, the Moss Man!

Actually, right now it’s just a piece of Trevor that got snagged on a log. But, like all of Trevor, it has a holographic resonance as the entirety of the original Trevor. I have no doubt that when we grow him he’ll be an enthusiastic and committed member of the Synthetic Humanoid Club.

Some of you have asked me privately how exactly Trevor qualifies as either “synthetic” or “humanoid,” as he is quite obviously just a hunk of moss, which is neither synthetic nor humanoid. “What gives, Hugh?”

No offense, Trevor.

I would like to say this is exactly the kind of exclusive and literalist thinking that’s holding this club back. Trevor certainly has an interest in being "humanoid," in that he's partly made up of human brain cells, and the rest of him has spent his life in humanoid shape (through the help of prosthetic topiary devices), and this synthesis of the humanoid and non-humanoid is precisely what makes the Synthetic Humanoid Club so valuable to someone like Trevor. So, please, take your synthetic humanoid elitism elsewhere, because there's no room for it in this club!

And let's all give Trevor a big welcome!

"Oooof. Hey, watch it. Person here."

"Oh, excuse me. I didn't see you there... Oh! Hi Trevor!"

It was Trevor, the Moss Man. We were roommates at Montgomery Research Hospital. He was slumping on a log. Hard to spot in the dark. Plus, he blends in.

"Enjoying the evening, Trevor?"

"Yeah. Just had to slip out and enjoy this misty fog."

Most of the residents of the lab know how to sneak out. Mostly it's just to get some fresh air and move around. Most of them return to their rooms before the orderlies ever notice they were gone.

"How's it been going, Trevor? It's been a minute."

"I'm holding it together. Doc made me a chickenwire suit. It pinches."

Trevor is the result of mixing some brain cells with a handful of moss. He's got a humanoid shape, but that's only because they grew him in a human-shaped mold. In reality, his shape is fluid. Left alone, he'd grow right into his chair, or up a wall.

Trevor got up off his log, and I could see the chickenwire wrapped around his legs and torso. He looked stiff.

"Well. See you around Hugh."

"See you around, Trevor."

It wasn't till he'd shuffled away that I noticed a big piece of him left on the log.

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Though I “graduated” from the Montgomery Research Hospital up on the hill, I still like to visit and take a peek at what’s happening. Of course I don’t get too close, on account of setting off the alarms and search lights and stuff. I don’t mind waving a flipper at the fellas on the other end of the surveillance cameras though. They were always good to me.

You also need to keep an eye out for the other “graduates” hanging around in the woods. Some of them don’t have the best social skills. Like when those students from Nightmare Community College disappeared. I don’t suggest anybody go creeping around up there unless you know all the trails and secret tunnels.

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We had a great meeting of the Synthetic Humanoid Club—in the pool in the Lilly Crypto-aquatic Center! It was very considerate of the members to agree to have our meeting there. I’m much more comfortable in water, and rely on the canals to get me around campus and to and from the Aqua Dorm. It’s so nice not to have to drag myself over a parking lot or gravel pit. I was built to float!

Super great turn out. Who knew there were so many synthetic humanoids at Psyhigh? Aside from charter members @Synthia Humanoid and @Holyboiledcabbages, there were Dr. Rajgopal’s Tigroid Twins, Q23 from the synthetic humanoid factory on Titan, Timmy Refresh the Soap Boy, Ray Montague the child star who is actually just the coalescence of all our celluloid dreams, and Karlos the Krystal Boy. Things were a blast till we realized that Soap Boy shouldn’t have spent so much time in the water.

We didn’t work out any of the formalities of voting for officers or establishing our constitution... it was more just our first social. Can’t wait to do it again!

As many of you know, I'm a transfer student from the Montgomery Research Hospital up on the hill. While it was difficult to literally tear myself away from the formative, hormone engorged walls of my birthing chamber, the students at Psyhigh have made me feel tremendously welcome, even in light of my own, quite obvious, physical differences.

Synthetic humanoids face unique challenges as they make their way in the natural world, which is why I started the Synthetic Humanoid Club. As the current sole member, this also means I'm president, but I'm happy to hold another election just as soon as we have a quorum. We've recently sent an invitation to @Holyboiledcabbages, but anyone is free to respond to the flyers I've scattered in the lunch room. Though they may be a bit soggy.

If you're considering joining but not quite sure if you're a "synthetic humanoid," please drop by anyway! It's very possible the term "humanoid" is too restrictive (we welcome our gaseous and ultra-high frequency friends), and, if you think about it, aren't we all "synthetic," to an extent?

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Brrrrr the river sure gets cold this time of year. The giant clams and sea squirrels are burrowed deep into the mud of the river bottom, down with the old tires and rubber boots and ancient artifacts. And there’s the giant UFO that’s been down there for thousands of years.

But it’s Solstice! Which means the glowing chum will school and swarm and the white winter bats will swoop and catch them at midnight when they flop.

So I’m spending the night in the river, cold as it may be.

Being a synthetic humanoid has its pleasures! I hope you are enjoying Solstice in your own way.

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Hey @Synthia Humanoid! ME TOO!!! Are you from the lab up on the hill? I escaped through the sewers and the storm drain and now I live in the river. Let's catch up!

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