Cannubis, stoner god

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...and where do you think you're going?
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7/19/2022 1:49pm

PsyHigh is a pretty cool place, even if I don't think I'll fit in here. Just too many weird things going on lately, and there's something damned familiar about this place, too. I just can't... remember. Like a half-remembered dream. I mean, it's pretty here, and the weather is nice, but I just can't shake this feeling....

Anyway, I was all packed for a new semester abroad. I was supposed to experience life with a host family, and so yesterday I show up to the depot where they did some scans or whatever, and I got this tingling feeling and like, something kinda changed, but just the tiniest bit, right? Hardly noticeable, so I thought nothing of it. Wands out, powders in jars, these crazy magic panels that showed pictures and stuff, I was wondering what this was all about for just a plane ride.

Nope!

Turns out they have this portal thingy in the school terranasium that somehow splits dimensions or something and you can cross over! So turns out my host family is in this alternate dimension, and the school has me step into this room, and I can see them through the crystal glass of the windows. Voices start in my head, and my head starts pounding, and I can barely stand and all of a sudden I have wings and tentacles and like it's no big deal, they've been there the whole time!
I'm not even freaking out, which is weird because I don't remember having them before. I didn't even know I needed them and how could I forget that in the first place? Just preoccupied I guess, but then my eyes feel like they are on fire, like there's too much light and the next thing I know I'm blindfolded, taken back to my room and that's when the questions start. Finally, they left, and I could just crawl into bed and pass out. I reached up with my nethermost tentacle and shut off the lights.
When I woke up this morning, I took the blindfold off, and everything was doubled. It was too much, and I realized I grew another eye. What the...?
I couldn't walk straight, so after a dizzying struggle of getting to the bathroom and back, I just sat on the bed. Ms. Hazeltine shows up, we talk a bit about things and she tells me the changes should wear off in a month. She ties this eye patch around one eye, and my vision immediately clears up. What a relief!

Anyway, that's all for today. I was told to get some rest, since I'm to go to the science lab tomorrow, instead of my normal Hypnotoad Transmogrification studies. I guess I'll find out why tomorrow.
Whatever.

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...and where do you think you're going?
-
7/19/2022 12:09am

So...
well...
...I'm not sure where to start? I'm not seeing the host family? Just these weird... hey man, there's tentacles! Oh, never mind, they're mine....
...Wait, what? Move where?
....Oh! I see it now! That is amazing! It's kinda like a mirror, but backwards! I can almost get my... Huh? Why would I do that?
...Wait, seriously? That activates this thing? Then what?
...you want me to fly? With what, my wings? Oh, there they are!
...waddaya mean where am I? I'm right here! Right in front of.... what was that? It felt like....
...Hey! How did... Ohmygodmyheadhurts! Make it stop! Okay, okay, I'm doing it!
...It's not working! Owowowowowow FUCK! I can't think! STOP SCREAMING!

(He's screaming now.)
(Well, get him out, goddamnit!)
(Look, I haven't been standing here with my thumb up my ass this whole time, y'know. He shifted somehow!)
(I'm not answering to one more parent or guardian or whatever the hell they call those things on Prime, because we lost another student! What!? He shifted!?)
(Wait, he's coalescing... got him!)
(This is your fault, Jerry. You know you're not supposed to give them suggestions. What did you mean, he shifted?)
(Apparently, we have a latent reality bender here. Fuckin' hell, Walt, it would be nice if you would just hire some decent help!)
(How is this my fault? Hey, don't lose him, this will be the fourth one this month!)
(That lame-ass Eye you hired, Greta. Didn't see through this one. Or the last three! I'm doing the best I can here, but when you send me students like this, what am I supposed to do? He should have been briefed, holoed, backed up, memory wiped and prepared for this, but no-o-o-o-o-o-o! This ain't no entry-level job!)

...Can you still hear me? My head feels alright now, but my eyes...!

(Jerry!)
(Alright! FUCK! There! Are ya happy!)
(Took ya long enough!)

...why am I seeing double? Oooooo, this hurts! I can't ....

(Goddamnit, Jerry, how are we going to explain to his parents he's got two eyes now?)