The Floating Ampitheaters
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GROTTO G.S.M. INC. 8/5/2019 12:42pm
WE ARE INCREDIBLY DISAPPOINTED AT THE HOAX THAT HAS GONE ON RIGHT UNDERNEATH OUR NOSE THIS SUMMER. FOR THREE MONTHS, MANY OF YOU WERE COMPLICIT IN THIS ACT OF DECEPTION AND TRICKERY.
LAST FRIDAY, AUGUST THE 2ND, THE GGSMSSSAEAPC AUDIT TEAM, LED BY @Anita Hairtie
,WAS FINISHING THEIR REVIEW OF ALL PSYCHIC HIGH CLASSES. THE ADMINISTRATION ASKED IF WE COULD CONDUCT AUDITS TO MEASURE SAFETY, EMPOWERMENT, AND SECURITY. WE OBLIGED. NEVER DID WE THINK THAT ONE OF OUR CLASSES WOULD TURN OUT TO BE COMPLETELY DEVOID OF NOT ONLY SAFETY, EMPOWERMENT, AND SECURITY, BUT ALSO COMPLETELY LACKING OF EXISTENCE.
WE HAVE DISCOVERED THAT "Visual Art and Apocalyptic Studies" SUPPOSEDLY TAUGHT BY PROF. BRANIGAN DOES NOT EXIST. NOT ONCE HAVE THE FLOATING AMPHITHEATERS BEEN USED THIS ENTIRE SUMMER. IN FACT, PROF. BRANIGAN HAS NOT BEEN ON CAMPUS SINCE JUNE 1ST.
IN OUR INVESTIGATION, WE HAVE FOUND THAT PROF. BRANIGAN SENT THE FOLLOWING EMAIL TO ALL STUDENTS REGISTERED FOR THE CLASS ON MAY 31ST:
I send this letter to you today, because you are registered to take the summer course Visual Art and Apocalyptic Studies. I have an unfortunate piece of news. I will not be teaching it. No one will be teaching it. Now, I know that you are most likely shocked, disappointed, or confused, but I implore you to keep a level head.
You will get an "A" in the class and still receive all the credit you expected, but instead of attending a class, you can do whatever you please. All that I ask is that you do not reveal this to anyone, unless they are also enrolled in the class.
I understand that you may feel that you should tell someone with authority, but I ensure you, I am not doing this for no reason. I hope that my reputation and my previous behavior is enough to inform you that my actions are for good.
Thank you for your time and consideration,
Professor Achava Branigan
Psychic High School
WE SHOULD HAVE KNOWN SOMETHING WAS WRONG WHEN PROF. BRANIGAN DIDN'T POST ANYTHING ON OUR JOURNAL, AS SHE TYPICALLY DOES FOR HER CLASSES. WE TRUSTED HER AND WE TRUSTED PSYCHIC HIGH STUDENTS.
WE APOLOGIZE TO STUDENTS AND STAFF THAT ARE DISAPPOINTED BY OUR LACK OF OVERSIGHT. IT SIMPLY NOT RESPECTABLE THAT THIS HAS GONE ON.
WE CONDEMN STUDENTS AND STAFF THAT ALLOWED THIS HOAX TO GO ON. A TOTAL OF 200 STUDENTS WERE REGISTERED TO TAKE THIS CLASS. ALL 200 OF YOU WERE FINE WITH IT NOT EXISTING. IT IS ABSOLUTELY DISAPPOINTING TO KNOW THAT PSYCHIC HIGH STUDENTS CARE NOTHING FOR THEIR EDUCATION OR DEFRAUDING BOTH THEIR SCHOOL AND AN IMPORTANT BENEFACTOR OF THE SCHOOL, GROTTO G.S.M. INC..
AS A RESULT, WE WILL NO LONGER BE SPONSORING ANY CLASS AT PSYCHIC HIGH SCHOOL, UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE. ADDITIONALLY, WE WILL BE PURSUING LEGAL, FINANCIAL, AND SUPERNATURAL COMPENSATION, AS WELL AS PUNISHMENT FOR ALL STUDENTS WHO PARTICIPATED.
GROTTO G.S.M. INC.
WE CAN ALWAYS HEAR, SEE, TASTE, FEEL, AND/OR SMELL YOU™
Big Jim 8/9/2019 10:59pm
The administration is aghast — AGHAST! — at the recent scandal concerning fraudulent class attendance and psychic credit theft related to the @GROTTO G.S.M. INC.
sponsored non-existent Visual Art and Apocalyptic Studies class.
Psychic High School’s accreditation with the Interdimensional Higher Psychic Educational Authority is of the upmost importance, and, along with being directly tied to Dean Hammer’s salary, is vital to maintaining the level of education that the school has become famous for.
The timing of the psychic credit theft scandal is especially unfortunate as it comes on the heels of the recent Psychic Admissions Bribery Scandal, where certain well-connected psychic parents traded their seats on various Illuminati boards and in some cases ownership of entire vertical industry monopolies and small island nations for admittance decisions in favor of their children at the school. The school continues to research the full extent of this issue, with the Dean attending top level discussions on the matter at Illuminati 5-star resorts in luxurious locations worldwide.
The school has survived many rocky patches in its history, including the Minds Conflict, The Reality Accident, The Cessation, The Doll Flu, the approach of the Halberd Class Mega-Weapon, and so on and so forth. But we're confident that it’s nothing that a dose of good old fashioned Psyhigh Spirit can’t cure! So please begin attending the compulsory Good Thought and Happy Prayer Rituals, beginning every night from now until further notice at midnight in the Dark Temple.
Student Activities Coordinator
Class of '99
GROTTO G.S.M. INC. 8/11/2019 1:25pm
WE HAVE HEARD/SEEN/SMELT/TASTED/FELT MANY CONCERNS FROM THE STUDENT BODY ABOUT THE RECENT HAPPENINGS AT THE DARK TEMPLE. WE THOUGHT WE COULD ADDRESS ALL YOUR CONCERNS ABOUT THE TEMPLE HERE.
AS ANNOUNCED BY @Big Jim
, MANDATORY GOOD THOUGHT AND HAPPY PRAYER RITUALS AT THE DARK TEMPLE WERE INSTITUTED TO UPLIFT THE STUDENT POPULATION AFTER RECENT DEBAUCHERY OF THE FRAUDULENT CLASS, Visual Art and Apocalyptic Studies. WE COMPLETELY SUPPORT THIS MANDATE. WE BELIEVE ALL STUDENTS SHOULD TAKE PART IN THIS BRILLIANTLY SPIRIT RISING ACTIVITY.
OF COURSE, THESE MANDATORY SESSIONS ARE TEMPORARILY CANCELLED, AS WELL STUDENTS HAVE NOTICED FROM THE LARGE SIGNS AND BLOCKADES OUTSIDE THE BUILDING, THE SECURITY TEAM CIRCLING THE BUILDING, AND THE CLEANING CREWS ENTERING AND EXITING, AS WELL AS THE HAZMAT TENT DRAPED OVER THE BUILDING.
MANY STUDENTS ARE CONFUSED AND WORRIED THAT WILL SUFFER SEVERE PUNISHMENT, IF THEY CANNOT ATTEND THE GOOD THOUGHT AND HAPPY PRAYER RITUALS. IF YOU ARE A STUDENT LIKE THIS, THERE IS NO NEED WORRY! THE DARK TEMPLE WILL UP AND RUNNING IN NO TIME! SIMPLY, A FOOLISH PERSON HAS VANDALIZED THE DARK TEMPLE. WE, OF COURSE, TOOK IT INTO OUR OWN HANDS TO CLEAN UP THE MESS.
NOW, IF YOU ARE THE STUDENT OR STUDENTS THAT CAUSED THE CLOSING OF THE DARK TEMPLE, THERE IS NEED FOR YOU TO WORRY.
THE SCHOOL ADMINISTRATION, SCHOOL BOARD, CLEANING CREW, GROTTO G.S.M. UNDISCLOSED SECURITY, GROTTO G.S.M. DISCLOSED SECURITY, THE GGSMSSSAEAPC, TEACHERS, AND ALL THE GOOD, LAWFUL, AND KIND STUDENTS AT PSYCHIC HIGH WILL NOT STAND FOR YOUR UNLAWFUL, CRUDE, AND UNCOUTH ACT OF VANDALISM.
GROTTO G.S.M. INC. IS DETERMINED TO RESTORE THE DARK TEMPLE AND PUT AN END TO YOUR SELFISH AND CHILDISH BEHAVIOR.
IF YOU ARE A GOOD, LAWFUL, AND KIND STUDENT, KEEP YOUR EYES, EARS, MOUTHS, AND NOSES ALERT FOR SUSPICIOUS BEHAVIOR. IF YOU SEE SOMEONE BEING SUSPICIOUS, REPORT IT IMMEDIATELY TO EITHER US, A GROTTO G.S.M. INC. SECURITY OFFICER (UNDISCLOSED OR DISCLOSED), OR A MEMBER OF THE SCHOOL ADMINISTRATION, SUCH AS @Big Jim
REMEMBER, IT IS BETTER TO REPORT SOMEONE INNOCENT, THAN TO LET A CRIMINAL GO.
GROTTO G.S.M. INC.
WE CAN ALWAYS HEAR, SEE, TASTE, FEEL, AND/OR SMELL YOU™
Zettajoule99 8/13/2019 10:58pm
hey yo!!!!! looking to get your good thoughts and happy prayer rituals in while the dark temple is closed? get ready to paaaarrrrrrrty on the @GROTTO G.S.M. INC.
sponsored floating amphitheaters every night from now till school starts! we've cleaned off the dust and toxic cobwebs and these babies are ready to host the end of summer's biggest fling! draw the orphic sigils on the roof of your dorm and we'll drop by and pick you up (psyhigh security patrols allowing). thyrsi provided! but byo honey.
ps this party is a student led event and not sponsored by @GROTTO G.S.M. INC.
Petajoule66 8/16/2019 7:58pm
Joule Crew party master Petajoule66 here, at the wheel of Floating Amphitheater 2 (otherwise known as Golden Missy with the Mighty Braids).
The Sunset Party is OFF THE HOOK! Word of our floating party barges has spread -- the entire debate team from Indeterminate High has shown up, but continues to flit between existence and non-existence. Somebody grab one of them next time they phase in and give 'em a big dose of Psyhigh Spirit RIGHT ON THE LIPS if you know what I mean ;)
Meanwhile, we've got students from every dorm dancing up a storm in the most OUTRAGEOUS ritual garb, sticking with the Eleusinian theme, and even a bit of Minoan thrown in here and there. If you don't have your own toga, well... just steal your own sheets of your bed, dummy!
And the Golden Missy is just one of the three FANTABULOUS Floating Amphitheaters currently on the prowl over campus. Can't see us? Well we've gotta stay off the official school RADAR if you know what I mean ;) So keep it to a sly Orphic sigil in enchanted silver spray paint and we'll know where to pick you up.
Just tell 'em Petajoule66 sent ya.
Gigajoule69 8/20/2019 10:10pm
Floating Amphitheater 3 (Ol’ Dirty Walnut) failed to report in after last night’s festivities. We figure it’s because of the increasingly complicated configurations we’re having to run inside Me-space to avoid the Psyhigh security patrols. Slipping in and out of the super tiny 10 dimensional folds is tricky work! And if you make the wrong move you can leave our local sub-reality real easy.
If you’ve got friends or dorm mates onboard the Walnut, please help us by using the copper spray paint for your landing sigils, and mix a bit of your spit in it. We think this could help produce a resonance the Ol’ Number Three can hone in on.
In the meantime, we’re operating in just 2 floating amphitheaters, so be sure to observe the maximum seating capacity. NOT! jk
Party on, dudes!!
Karin Blentzsen 8/26/2019 9:06pm
The first sign something went wrong on Ol Dirty Walnut (Floating Amphitheater #3) is when we noticed the school grounds were empty. It's like everybody evacuated all at once. So we cruised over to town and it was empty too. Nobody anywhere. All the streets and parks and grocery stores -- empty.
And the streets weren't strewn with cars either which is weird because if there was some kind of rapture wouldn’t there be cars wrecking everywhere and airplanes crashing and power plants burning and stuff like that?
We started by raiding 7-11s’s and staying in the nicest rooms in the hotel. Lately we’ve been at one of the nice houses on the lake (with a pool) and partying. No internet but they have a blue ray and even a bunch of VHS tapes.
I wonder what we're going to do when winter comes.
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