HELLO EVERYONE!

AS THE WONDERFUL @Ms. Hazeltine ANNOUNCED, WE WILL BE PARTNERING WITH THE SCHOOL TO MAKE SURE THE INCREDIBLE PRESENCE OF THE BRAND NEW WELLNESS CENTER IS AT THE VALENTINE’S DANCE!

IN PARTICULAR, WE HAVE MADE SURE TO PERSONALLY INVITE MR. E. <3 TO ATTEND THE DANCE AND BARBECUE, AS THE GRAND SELECTION KING! WE WONDER WHO WILL BE THE LUCKY PERSON TO GO WITH HIM TO THE DANCE *SIGHHH* SOMETIMES IT GET LONELY BEING A CONGLOMERATE HIVE MIND *HAIR TWIRL*

SPEAKING OF, NOW A MESSAGE FROM OUR, WE MEAN, YOUR FAVORITE TRENCH COAT WEARING MAN AND WELLNESS CENTER DIRECTOR, MR E. <3:

Hello Students,

I am very flattered by your response to me, although I can’t say it was expected. It seems that these days I can’t get through the hallway without a student, teacher, or a Grotto G.S.M. Undisclosed Security Guard inviting me to the dance, declaring their love, or throwing their underwear at me a la a 70's rock concert.

While I am certainly honored to be the Grand Selection King, I can’t say that my goal with the wellness center was exactly to attract this attention to myself, because I am of course a regular man type person. Rather we, at the Wellness center, are hoping to increase student and faculty awareness of their surroundings and… such. As much as I am flattered, I know I am a very tall and handsome man (definitely not two people stacked on top of each other in an oversized trench coat) and so I understand I attract affection. Out of fairness to everyone, I will not be selecting a date to the dance. Instead, I’d like to encourage you to swing by the brand new Wellness center and take part in one of wellness and awareness infusing services !

Best, Mr. E.

WELL, THIS IS QUITE A SHOCK. WE DIDN’T ANTICIPATE THAT MR. E. WOULDN’T CHOOSE A DATE TO THE DANCE :( BUT WELL… WE SHOULD HAVE!
SUCH A TALL, TALL, AND HANDSOME MAN LIKE MR. E. IS SURELY OF HIGH MORAL CHARACTER!! AW, MR. E. IS SUCH A KIND MAN :)
HE DOESN’T WANT TO PIT HIS SUITORS AGAINST EACH OTHER <3 HOW SWEET AND CONSIDERATE OF HIM <3

LUCKILY, WE ARE NOT AFRAID TO PIT HIS SUITORS AGAINST EACH OTHER!
TO MAKE IT FAIR, WE WILL NOW BE CONVERTING THE GRAND SELECTION INTO THE GRAND SELECTION DATING COMPETITION IN WHICH CONTESTANTS WILL COMPETE FOR MR. E.’S HAND IN MARRIAGE! WHAT IS MORE VALENTINE’S DAY THAN A LOVE BASED CONTEST?

THE WINNING PERSON (OR PEOPLE OR HIVE MIND… WE DON’T JUDGE MR. E. ;)) WILL ROAST THE FIRST VICTIM FOR THE SACRIFICIAL BARBECUE <3 HOW ROMANTIC <3
THEY WILL ALSO HAVE THE HONOR OF BEING MR. E’S (SUCH A TALL, TALL MAN <3) DATE TO THE VALENTINE’S DANCE AND BARBECUE :) ANYONE CAN ENTER, STUDENTS, FACULTY, OR EVEN MAYBE PRIVATE PUBLIC PRIVATE SPONSORS, ALL FOR THE CHANCE TO COMPETE FOR MR. E.’S HEART!!! STAY TUNED FOR MORE DETAILS ON HOW THE WELLNESS CENTER WILL BE INVOLVED IN THE DANCE, AS WELL AS INSTRUCTIONS ON ENTERING THE THE GRAND SELECTION DATING COMPETITION <3

THANK YOU,
GROTTO G.S.M. INC.
WE CAN ALWAYS HEAR, SEE, TASTE, FEEL, AND/OR SMELL YOU™

HELLO EVERYONE!

WE ARE PROUD TO INTRODUCE THIS WEEK'S FORTUNE DRAWING FROM THE BRAND NEW WELLNESS CENTER! THIS READING IS ENTIRELY FREE! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? WE GUESS THERE REALLY IS SUCH THING AS A FREE LUNCH ;) ON SECOND THOUGHT, TO CLARIFY, THE FORTUNE IS NOT EDIBLE, JUST AN IMPORTANT MENTAL HEALTH SERVICE! FOR FREE!

BUT BEFORE WE GET INTO THE FORTUNE, WE WOULD JUST LIKE TO RECOGNIZE A VERY SPECIAL EMPLOYEE AT THE WELLNESS CENTER WHO HAS MADE ALL OF THIS HAPPEN <3 ... MR E.

YOU MIGHT HAVE SEEN MR. E. RECENTLY AS HE MEANDERS THROUGH HALLWAYS WITH A WOBBLY STEPS, BUMPING INTO DOORWAYS AND LEDGES ... SUCH A TALL MAN<3…
WHILE MR. E. IS CLEARLY A WELCOME BIT OF SPICE TO PSYCHIC HIGH HALLWAYS, HE HAS ALSO DONE A GREAT JOB OF PUTTING UP ALL OF THE FLYERS FOR THE WELLNESS CENTER, HAVING WHISPERY BACKROOM CONVERSATIONS, MAKING HIMSELF AT HOME IN THE STAFF DISCO LOUNGE, AND GREETING FACULTY AND STUDENTS ALIKE WITH HIS SIGNATURE "WHAT, HUH? NO, I AM NOT TWO PEOPLE IN A TRENCHCOAT,”

UGH :) WHAT A GOOD <3 EMPLOYEE <3

ANYWAYS <3… PLEASE ENJOY THIS FREE RANDOMIZED STUDENT FORTUNE DRAWING FROM WELLNESS STAFF, VIOLET NUMEN.

salutations children
you may have seen me around campus.
i have no hair. anywhere.
i am my own creator as i am your creator
living in the ambiguous corners of dreams
the lonely patches of consciousness that slip from the hands of time
and accept reality as soft waves rolling
in a enormous intimidating ocean full of unknowable knowledge
the changing, the shifting, the unknowable state
this is my home

now that we’ve been properly introduced, here is the free randomized fortune reading:

today's reading is for…drum roll please…
Today’s reading is for… you
what a coincidence
imagine a tree
a big tall one with twisting, reaching branches
you cling onto a top branch, a place where it will soon diverge
creating two new paths, two new possibilities
you gaze up at the sky begging for redemption
you clasp your hands and pray
“i am not here for no reason,” you say
“i am not here…” you are interrupted
what is that? on the ground
the roots? the roots.
the roots are writhing and moaning
they’re rotten
stop praying to them, they are rotten

HMMM, WELL, THAT IS VERY INTERESTING FORTUNE. HUH... YES... WELL… MAYBE YOU SHOULD DO SOMETHING ABOUT THOSE ROOTS.
THANK YOU AGAIN TO THE WELLNESS CENTER FOR PROVIDING SUCH A WONDERFUL SERVICE TO OUR STUDENTS! AND ALL FOR FREE!! HOW INCREDIBLE!! WE ARE SURE THIS WILL BE INSIGHTFUL KNOWLEDGE TO WHOEVER, UH, YOU ARE.

THANKS AGAIN TO MR. E. ;) DON'T FORGET TO THANK HIM NEXT TIME YOUR IN THE HALLS!

THANK YOU,
GROTTO G.S.M. INC.
WE CAN ALWAYS HEAR, SEE, TASTE, FEEL, AND/OR SMELL YOU™

HELLO EVERYONE!

WE HAVE AN INCREDIBLY EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT FOR PSYCHIC HIGH :)
YOU MIGHT SAY TO US "Well you have had plenty of announcements and I have to say a lot of them have led to some pretty unpleasant experiences," BUT YOU NEED TO BE LESS OF A DOWNER DEBBY! BE MORE OF A HAPPY HELEN OR EXCITED ERICKA OR C̸̨̛̦̏͘Ȏ̶̺̃Ṅ̶͕̟T̴̰̅̊̏E̶̩͆N̶̳̈́T̶̨̫̞̿̽ ̵͍͙́C̸̻̙̐̈́͝Ā̶̢̏͜Ŕ̷̌͜͜͝Ḻ̴̻͌̓͝!

WE HAVE HAD PLENTY OF AMMMAZZZING ANNOUNCEMENTS AND THIS ONE IS NO EXCEPTION. WE WOULD LIKE TO ANNOUNCE A NEW CAMPUS STAFF MEMBER AND A BRAND NEW STUDENT SERVICE.

THE VERY DAPPER MR. E. <3..., AN EXPERIENCED PROFESSOR AND ARTIST, IS THE HEAD DIRECTOR OF THE BRAND NEW WELLNESS CENTER AT PSYCHIC HIGH.

HERE IS A MESSAGE FROM MR. E HIMSELF INTRODUCING THE WELLNESS CENTER:

Hello Students,

Us here at the brand new WELLNESS CENTER understand how stressful it can be to be a student at Psychic High. Between class, social life, witchcraft practice, and work, how are students meant to manage it all? That's where the WELLNESS CENTER comes in. We will be offering many services that are certain to improve your wellness, the wellness of your community, and your awareness of your surroundings. Just open up your eyes and see the brand new WELLNESS CENTER. Just peel open your ears and hear the brand new WELLNESS CENTER. Just use your delicate tentacles and feel the brand new WELLNESS CENTER. Just lick and taste the brand new WELLNESS CENTER. Just open up your nostrils and smell the brand new WELLNESS CENTER. Just be aware of the WELLNESS CENTER.

We offer a variety of services and resources at the WELLNESS CENTER. Feel free to come talk to our brand new counselors, Large James and Infinity Strigiformes. Or visit me, Mister E., a very normal man person who is an adult man NOT two people who are not men sitting on each other's shoulders in a big trench coat! for any sort of help you may need.

Additionally, we are excited to introduce our weekly free fortune drawings sponsored by GROTTO G.S.M.. Our incredible staff member Violent Numen, has incredible psychic ability and will be giving free fortune drawings to random students! Students will receive a free fortune to help uplift them, their community, and your awareness of your surroundings.

We'd like to also thank our other generous sponsors, The Capricious Canoe, Larissa Carris, El Arte Cierto Coalition, and The Welsh Accent Appreciation Club. Wellness is so closely tied with being aware of your surroundings, so we are so thankful to these sponsors for spreading awareness.

Remember?
MR. E.

WOW, HOW EXCITING! AND HOW STRAIGHT FORWARD AND NOT CRYPTIC! WE ARE SO EXCITED TO SEE THIS IMPORTANT STUDENT SERVICE UP AND RUNNING! IT IS ALSO GREAT TO HEAR ABOUT TWO BRAND NEW STAFF MEMBERS LARGE JAMES AND INFINITY STRIGIFORMES. WE ARE SURE THEY ARE COMPLETELY UNRELATED TO PRE-EXISTING STAFF, SINCE WE HAVE NEVER HEARD THEIR NAMES BEFORE. WELCOME TO THE PSYCHIC HIGH FAMILY, LARGE JAMES AND INFINITY STRIGIFORMES! YOU WILL RECEIVE A WARM WELCOME FROM OUR OTHER EXCELLENT STAFF MEMBERS, LIKE @Big Jim and @Anything Owl .

OH MR. E, SUCH A TALL AND HANDSOME MAN :)

NOT TO BE UNPROFESSIONAL STUDENTS, BUT MR. E. REALLY DOES KNOW HOW TO WORK AN EXTRA LARGE AND LONG TRENCH COAT. WHICH WE DON’T HAVE A CRUSH OR ANYTHING, BUT IF WE HYPOTHETICALLY DID, WELL… LET’S JUST SAY, IF WE HAD FEET WE WOULDN’T MIND A CERTAIN 10 FOOT TALL MAN SWEEPING US OFF THEM ;) UGH SUCH A TALL MAN <3 <3 <3

ON A COMPLETELY UNRELATED NOTE, STUDENTS, IT CAN BE AN IMPORTANT PART OF WELLNESS TO RECOGNIZE THAT SOMETIMES YOU CAN’T TELL YOUR EMPLOYEES YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON THEM BECAUSE IT IS AN <3 UNETHICAL CONFLICT OF INTEREST <3 *SIGH*

FOR EXAMPLE, IF YOU WERE A VERY POWERFUL AND MYSTERIOUS CONGLOMERATE HIVEMIND COOPERATION, IT WOULD BE UNPROFESSIONAL TO CONFESS YOUR FEELINGS FOR A VERY TALL AND HANDSOME EMPLOYEE OF YOURS...*SIGH*...<3<3<3

ANYWAYS, WE HOPE YOU STUDENTS APPRECIATE THE BRAND NEW WELLNESS CENTER AND THE UPCOMING RANDOMIZED STUDENT FORTUNES FROM THE VIOLET NUMEN.

THANK YOU,
GROTTO G.S.M. INC.
WE CAN ALWAYS HEAR, SEE, TASTE, FEEL, AND/OR SMELL YOU™

HELLO EVERYONE!

WE HAVE RECENTLY RECEIVED SOME FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS FROM CONCERNED STUDENTS THAT WE WOULD LIKE TO ADDRESS.

AS YOU KNOW, WE ARE A GHOST SERVER MANAGEMENT COMPANY AND WHILE WE DO LOVE OUR CUSTOMERS HERE AT PSYCHIC HIGH, WE ARE A WORLDWIDE COMPANY!

SO WHILE WE ARE ENDEARED THAT ALL YOI STUDENTS ARE CONCERNED ABOUT US OR OUR ACTIONS OR IF OUR RECENT SILENCE IS AN OMINOUS OMEN OF FORTHCOMING DEVIOUS ACTS, WE ENSURE YOU THAT OUR CUSTOMERS ARE STILL OUR NUMBER ONE PRIORITY. WE SIMPLY HAVE BEEN *JUST* A *TOUCH* BUSY IN LIGHT OF MAJOR BUSINESS NEGOTIATIONS, MANAGING THE NEEDS AND LONGINGS OF T̴̡̨̨̟͈̹̪͓̜̜̥̥͍̄̓̔̈́̈́̇̕ͅḦ̵̡̘̙̝̳̫̝̯̗̾̋͒̓͗̆͝ͅE̷̲̊̄̃́̽̏̅̽̾ ̵̢̻̼͚͖̍Ȉ̷̭̤̦̼͑̉̍̈̒̃̔N̶̲̩̖̲͔̼̙͒́̓͗̂̂̚͘͘V̷̨̡̤̭̯̭̥̹̯̹͉́͐̈̍̄͒̃̐̍̏̈́̕ͅẸ̸̡̀͆̿̐͐͐̾̔͌̃͐̚͝S̶̥̹̻̙̯̲͈̉̌͗͒͐̀̏̚͠͝͠Ṱ̴̨̡̧͔̮̖̹̱̞̯̞̭̘̟̩͆̕͠ͅỢ̷͙̲̹̻̞͊̏̎̐͒́̉̓͆̔R̸̨͓̼͈̼̗̭̰̟͚̯̯͈̻̺̓͜S̷̛̱̱̘̤̪̓̎͒̆̌̀ ̴̡̪̯͊̇, AS WELL AS… A DEEPLY PERSONAL TRAGEDY THAT HAS HAPPENED TO US RECENTLY.

SO, STUDENTS PLEASE STOP KNOCKING ON OUR GROTTO G.S.M. UNDISCLOSED SECURITY OFFICE DOOR AND BEGGING US TO GIVE YOU COMPANY UPDATE, OR LINING UP OUTSIDE WITH SIGNS AND AMPLIFIERS SHOUTING “EDUCATION ISNT A CORPORATION!” , OR DMING US MESSAGE AFTER MESSAGE ASKING WHAT OUR NEXT MOVE WILL BE. WE APPRECIATE ALL OF THESE ACTS OF AFFECTION AND LOVE, BUT WE SIMPLY HAVE *JUST* BEEN BUSY.

NOW TO FINALLY ADDRESS SO FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS:

1. What Happened with the Vandalism of the multiple iconic school landmarks? What happened to the vandal?
WHY DO YOU KEEP ASKING? WE ALREADY TOLD YOU THIS? WELL, WE HAVE CONCISE, CLEAR, AND SIMPLE COVERAGE ALREADY RELEASED. PLEASE REFER TO THOSE VERY SIMPLE AND UNDERSTANDABLE ENTRIES TO UNDERSTAND THE SITUATION.

2. Are there ongoing investigations into where Company Asset or Personelle have fled?
YES, HOWEVER THEY ARE REALLY CONFIDENTIAL AND VERY SECRETIVE AND YOU WOULDN’T KNOW THE INVESTIGATION BECAUSE THEY GO TO ANOTHER SCHOOL.

3. Is @Anything Owl really a GROTTO G.S.M. Representative?
YES! ANYTHING OWL, MASTER OF NESTS - SWOOPER OF SWOOPS, IS IN FACT THE NEWLY PROMOTED INTERIM MANAGER OF THE PLANAR NEGOTIATION ROUNDTABLE, AS WELL AS THE INTERREGNUM MEET. ANYTHING OWL IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THINGS LIKE NESTS, NEST RELATED SCURFUFFLES, SWOOPING, SWOOPS, AND SWOOP INFRACTIONS AMONGST OTHER THINGS ON CAMPUS.

ADDITIONALLY AS A INTERIM MANAGER OF THE PLANAR NEGOTIATION ROUNDTABLE AND THE INTERREGNUM MEET, ANYTHING OWL IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THE ORGANIZATION OF THE PLANAR NEGOTIATION ROUNDTABLE, WHICH WILL BE HELD HERE ON CAMPUS IN THE UPCOMING MONTHS. OF COURSE, EVERYONE KNOWS WHAT A INTERREGNUM MEET IS… SO WE WON’T BE EXPLAINING THAT AT ALL.

4. Do you love me GROTTO G.S.M.?
DEAR, SWEET, STUDENT… OF COURSE WE LOVE YOU WITH ALL OF OUR HIVEMIND HEART. IN FACT WE LOVE EVERYONE AT PSYCHIC HIGH EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE HEARD, SEEN, TASTED, FELT, AND/OR SMELT EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR MISTAKES, WE STILL UNEQUIVOCALLY ACCEPT AND LOVE YOU <3

WELL THAT ABOUT WRAPS UP THE FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS. IF YOU HAVE FURTHER QUESTIONS FEEL… FREE TO SEND THEM OUR WAY, BUT ALSO FEEL FREE TO NOT DO SO AND JUST FEEL CONTENT WITH LIFE AND OUR INFESTATION OF IT.


THANK YOU,
GROTTO G.S.M. INC.
WE CAN ALWAYS HEAR, SEE, TASTE, FEEL, AND/OR SMELL YOU™

HELLO AGAIN.

WE HAVE TOLD YOU MANY TIMES. WHY DO YOU KEEP FORGETTING?
YOU KICK UNDER THE WATER. YOU HEAR THEIR LAUGHTER ABOVE. HE IS STILL CRACKING JOKES. "What's happening? What's happening?" YOU THINK, AS YOU STRUGGLE TO MAINTAIN YOUR CONCIOUSNESS. WE ALREADY TOLD YOU. WE WILL SAY IT ONE MORE TIME.

IT WAS AN UNCOMFORTABLY WARM DAY. NOT HOT. JUST WARM. FLUFFY CLOUDS.

A FLIER WAS POSTED AROUND THE SCHOOL BY SOMEONE WE DON'T KNOW. IT READ: STUDENT QUESTIONING OF THE VANDALISER, 6 PM, PSYCHIC HIGH SCHOOL CENTER RECREATION FIELD. SHOW THE VANDALISER THE LIVES THEY DESTROYED.
WE DON'T KNOW WHO DECIDED THIS EVENT SHOULD GO ON, BUT IT DID.

YOU SIT IN THE WAITING ROOM OUTSIDE THE DEAN'S OFFICE. YOU COMPULSIVELY BOUNCE YOUR LEG, AS YOU PICK AT THE APOLSTRY ON THE WORN COUCH.

THE RECEPTIONIST COMES BACK TO HIS DESK AND SMILES AT YOU, "Sorry, hun, it'll be a little while longer. The dean's very busy today,"

YOU FORCE A SMILE AND NOD, BUT RETURN TO LOOKING DOWN AT THE COUCH. BENEATH THE VINYL-EY, LEATHER-EY COVERING, IS A GREEN CRUMBLY FOAM, A TESTEMENT TO THE COUCHES AGE.

"Can you move over?" SAYS A TALL GIRL WEARING DOC MARTENS AND A BAGGY SWEATSHIRT OVER LEGGINGS.

YOU LOOK UP AND MUMBLE APOLGIES TO MAKE ROOM FOR THE GIRL.
SHE PLOPS DOWN ONTO THE COACH AND RUMMAGES THROUGH HER BAG.

YOU WATCH FOR A MOMENT, BUT LOOK BACK DOWN TO THE COUCH. YOU FROWN. SHE IS SITTING WHERE THE COUCH IS TORN NOW.

"Here," SHE SAYS CASUALLY HOLDING OUT A CRUMBLED PIECE OF PAPER.

"Me?" YOU ASK, UNFORTUNATLY UNACCOMPAINED BY A ROUGH VOICE CRACK.

SHE ROLLS HER EYES, "Yeah, you,"

YOU CAUTIOUSLY TAKE THE PAPER. IT READ: You are Invited to Be BEHIND THE SCENES at Today's STUDENT QUESTIONING! This is position is voluntary, however, non-participation will result in explusion. Please arrive at 5:55 pm at the back entrance of the performance tent ,sponsered by GROTTO G.S.M. INC.,newly placed on the Center Recreation Field. Any tardiness will be accepted as non-participation. Thank you! Psychic High Student Activities Council for the Greater Good.

YOU TURN TO THE GIRL ON THE COUCH, "I, um, what is..."

"Maryn?" THE RECEPTIONIST CALLS. THE GIRL NODS AND THE RECEPTIONIST SMILES, "The Dean can see you now!" THE GIRL, MARYN, STANDS AND CLOMPS OVER INTO THE DEAN'S OFFICE.

YOU FROWN DEEPLY. YOU HOPE THAT THE RECEPTIONIST WILL SEE YOUR FROWN AND ASK YOU WHAT IS WRONG. THE RECEPTIONIST DOES NOT DO THIS.

YOUR EYES WANDER AROUND THE ROOM LOOKING FOR A SOLUTION, AS A BALL OF WORRY DEVELOPS IN YOUR CHEST. YOU EYES LAND ON THE CLOCK, "5:43".

YOU FROWN MORE, BUT CONVINCE YOURSELF TO STAND UP. YOU LOOK DOWN AT THE PAPER AND BACK AT THE CLOCK. YOU FROWN MORE AND LOOK AT THE RECEPTIONIST. THE RECEPTIONIST DOESN'T NOTICE.

"I guess I'll be going then," YOU CHOKE OUT.

"Oh already? I'll let the Dean know you stopped by," THE RECEPTIONIST DOES NOT LOOK UP FROM HIS COMPUTER AS HE SPEAKS TO YOU.

YOU FROWN MORE, "Alright, I guess I'll just come back tomorrow,"

"Alrighty then, I'll see you tomorrow then," THE RECEPTIONIST DOESN'T LOOK UP.

"Do you think the Dean can see me tomorrow?"

"Oh, I don't know, hun. He's been busy all week,"

YOU NOD.

"Okay, I guess I'll be going then,"

"Have a nice day. Maybe go check out that Student Questioning thing, sounds fun," THE RECEPTIONIST SAYS SQUINTING AT THE COMPUTER.

YOU PROCEED OUT THE BUILDING. WALKING AT A QUICK PACE, EVERY ONCE AND A WHILE LOOKING BACK DOWN AT THE NOTE FOR REFRENCE. AS YOU REACH THE TENT, YOU OBSERVE THE LINE AT THE FRONT ENTRANCE. IT IS A LONG LINE, MORE LONG THAN A COMMON LINE, BUT EVEN LESS COMMON, EACH PERSON IN THE LINE WEARS A BROWN BURLAP SACK OVER THEIR FACE WITH HOLES CUT FOR THEIR EYES AND MOUTH. THE PEOPLE CHAT IN LINE CAUSUALLY. THEY DON'T SEEM TO NOTICE THE MASKS.
AS YOU REACH THE BACK OF THE TENT, A SHORT PERSON WEARING A BURLAP SACK MASK HOLDING A CLIPBOARD SHOUTS, "C'mon, It's time to go!" YOU PICK UP YOUR PACE AND AS YOU GET CLOSER YOU SEE THEY ARE WEARING A HEAD SET OVER THE MASK. YOU THINK ABOUT LAUGHING, BUT DECIDE IT'S NOT YOUR PLACE.

"You need to get into hair and makeup," THEY SAY USHERING YOU INTO THE TENT. INSIDE THE TENT THE LIGHTING IS ORANGE AND DIM. BEHIND THE WALLED OFF STAGE, A GROUP OF PEOPLE ALSO WEARING THE MASK-HEADSET COMBO ARE RUSHING AROUND. YOU REALISE YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON NOT WEARING A MASK.

THE PERSON WITH THE CLIPBOARD LEADS YOU TO A WOMAN WITH HANDS ON HER HIPS AND AN APRON WITH MAKEUP BRUSHES IN IT'S POCKETS, "Oh, look who finally decided to show up!" THE MAKEUP WOMAN AND THE CLIPBOARD PERSON LAUGH AND GREET EACH OTHER WITH A KISS ON EACH OF THEIR BURLAPED CHEEKS.

"Here, dear, sit on this chair," THE MAKEUP WOMAN SAYS. YOU FACE A VANITY LIT WITH LITTLE GOLDEN BULBS. THE WOMAN PLAYS WITH YOU HAIR. YOU SEE HER FROWN. YOU PICK AT THE VINYL ON THE ARM RESTS OF THE CHAIR.

"A little short, isn't it?" SHE LEANS OVER TO THE VANITY AND GRABS A BOTTLE OF FOUNDATION, "I guess Nancy will handle it, let's deal with this face of yours,"

AS THE MAKEUP WOMAN SLATHERS MAKEUP ONTO YOUR FACE, YOU HEAR THE CROWD OF STUDENTS SHUFFLING INTO THE TENT.

"SIT STILL, DEAR," THE MAKEUP WOMAN SHOUTS, "I need to get this lash on you, it'll save this look."

A MUFFLED VOICE COMES ON OVER A MICROPHONE. YOU CAN'T WORK OUT WHAT THE VOICE SAYS, BUT THE CROWD IS HOLLERING AND CHEERING.

"OH GOD!" THE MAKEUP LADY SHOUTS, "You're a complete mess! What I am supposed to do with you?"

ANOTHER WOMAN, PRESUMABLY NANCY, CONSIDERING SHE HOLDS A CADDY OF HAIR TOOLS AND PRODUCTS, STRUTS OVER TO THE VANITY, "Now, Calm down, Kelly," NANCY PATS THE MAKEUP WOMAN ON THE BACK, "You did your best with what you are working with, you can't help a bad face,"

YOU FROWN.

"You shouldn't do that, dear, it'll give you wrinkles," NANCY SAYS.

"Well, I know, it just always upsets me when my work isn't up to par,"

"It's an impossible task, Kelly. You can't fix what is fundamentaly ugly!"

YOU FROWN MORE. NEITHER NOTICE THIS TIME.

"You're right, you're right. Thanks, Nance, you always cheer me up,"

"Of course, Kelly. Now go take a break, I am sure you need it," KELLY LAUGHS AND THE TWO WOMEN SWITCH PLACES.

"Oh goodness," NANCY GROANS LOOKING AT YOUR HAIR, "Well, you just have to be presentable, not perfect,"

YOU HEAR THE CROWD LAUGHING BEHIND THE STAGE. NANCY BRUSHES YOUR HAIR.

YOU BITE YOUR LIP AND WATCH AS NANCY SQUIRTS PRODUCT INTO YOUR HAIR. A CHIP OF VINYL FLAKES OFF THE CHAIR. YOU GLANCE DOWN AS MUCH AS YOU CAN WITHOUT TURNING YOUR HEAD. YELLOW FOAM, NOT GREEN.

AFTER MINUTES OF SILENCE, YOU MUSTER THE COURAGE TO SPEAK, "What exactly is this behind the scences experience?"

NANCY LAUGHS AND FLIPS ON A HAIR DRYER. YOU COMPUSLIVELY BOUNCE YOUR LEG.

THE CLIPBOARD PERSON RUSHES UP TO NANCY AFTER A WHILE OF HAIR DRYING.

"Don't tell me I need to be ready, Ash," NANCY SAYS FLIPPING OFF THE HAIR DRYER.

"I'm sorry, but the suspect needs to go on in two minutes. You need to finish the hair up,"

"Wait, I am going to be with the suspect?" YOU ASK. NEITHER PERSON REPLIES. "I don't really want to go up with the suspect, is there another person who could go up instead of me? I don't want to inconvience anyone..."

"Alright, I'll finish up," NANCY SIGHS, IGNORING YOU.

"Thanks," ASH SAYS WALKING OFF TOWARD THE STAGE.

"...but I don't think I really know enough about the case to make any judgement calls on the suspect. I mean, I haven't really done my research," YOU CONTINUE.

NANCY SCRUNCHES MOUSE INTO YOUR HAIR AND FROWNS IN THE MIRROR.

"I'll have to do. Alright, hop up, you gotta get on stage," NANCY WAVES YOU OFF THE CHAIR AND SCRATCHES HER NECK UNDER THE BURLAP MASK, "Go over to the stage entrance,"

YOU WALK SLOWLY TO THE STAGE ENTRANCE. AS YOU REACH IT, A MAN ALL IN BLACK HOOKS A MICROPHONE UP TO YOU. FROM HERE YOU CAN MAKE OUT WHAT IS BEING SAID ON STAGE.

"And now! The moment you've been waiting for!" THE ANNOUNCER SAYS, "The Student Questioning of the Subject!"

"Hold on, am I questioning the subject?" YOU ASK THE MAN IN BLACK. HE REPLIES BY PUSHING YOU UP THE RAMP TO THE STAGE. AS YOU STEP ON STAGE, YOU ARE BLINDED BY THE SPOTLIGHT. YOU HEAR BOOS.

"The suspect must be on stage now" YOU THINK. YOU LOOK TO THE OTHER SIDE OF STAGE. A MAN IN A SUIT WITH A BURLAP SACK MASK HOLDS THE MICROPHONE STANDS ONLY A PACE IN FRONT OF YOU. "He must be the announcer," YOU THINK. THE LIGHTS ARE TOO BRIGHT TO SEE PAST HIM.

HIS WIDE, WHITE TOOTHED GRIN SHINES THROUGH THE WHOLE IN HIS MASK, "Don't be shy!" HE SAYS BECKONING YOU TOWARDS HIM.

YOU WALK TOWARDS HIM. THE CROWD CONTINUES TO BOO.

"Quiet down, Everybody," HE SAYS SINGSONG. THE CROWD LAUGHS. HE CONTINUES TURNING TO YOU, "So, How are you feeling tonight?" THE ANNOUNCER ASKS, NOT DROPPING HIS SMILE.

"I don't know," YOU SAY. YOU HEAR YOUR VOICE ON THE SPEAKERS, "Where is the suspect?"

THE CROWD ROARS WITH LAUGHTER. YOU SMILE TO YOURSELF, COMFORTED BY THE POSTIVE RESPONSE.

"Ha ha, yeah, where is the suspect?" YOU SAY AGAIN THIS TIME WITH MORE PENASH. THE CROWD LAUGHS AGAIN. YOU SMILE.

YOU TURN TO THE CROWD, UNSEEABLE TO YOU, "Where's the supspect?"
THEIR LAUGHTER IS RISES IN VOLUME.

THE ANNOUNCER CHUCKES AND PATS YOU ON THE BACK.

"Now here at Psychic High, we may come from many backgrounds, but I think one thing unites all of us. We all strongly believe in tradition! Whether ghost or goblin, we truly appreciate that what has passed the test of time. With that said, we will know begin the questioning with a classic technique,"

THE ANNOUNCER TURNS BACK TO YOU AND MOTIONS YOU TO SIT ON A WOODEN CHAIR. YOU SMILE AND SIT DOWN.

"This approach was utilized at the beginning of this country to test who was a witch and who wasn't, " THE CROWD LAUGHS. YOU LAUGH, TOO, "And while it wasn't so great at that, It is great at showing who's a liar and who's good,"

YOU ZONE OUT, AS YOU SPOT THE MAN IN BLACK WALKING TOWARDS YOU, ACCOMPANIED BY ANOTHER MAN. BOTH DONNED THEIR BURLAP MASKES. THEY APPROACH YOU AND STAND AT EITHER SIDE OF YOU, AS THE ANNOUNCER CONTINUES TO SPEAK. THEY HOLD CHUNKS OF METAL ATTACHED TO A CHAIN IN THEIR HAND. YOU CAN HEAR THEIR HEAVY BREATHING UNDERNEATH THEIR MASKS. YOUR SMILE FADES.

"So suspect, how do you plead?" THE ANNOUNCER FINISHES. NO ONE REPLIES.

"So suspect, how do you plead?" THE ANNOUCER REPEATS.

YOUR STOMACH FLIP FLOPS, "What?"

THE CROWD ONCE AGAIN ROARS WITH LAUGHTER.

"Where's the suspect?" YOU SAY. YOUR VOICE CRACKS AGAIN THIS TIME. THE LAUGHTER OF THE CROWD ANSWERS YOUR QUESTION.

YOU LEAP TO STAND, BUT ARE MET WITH THE HANDS OF THE STAGE HANDS IN BLACK PUSHING YOU BACK INTO YOUR SEAT.

"That sound's like guilty to me!" THE ANNOUNCER SAYS GRINNING. THE CROWD LAUGHS.

THE TWO MEN LEAN DOWN ATTACHING THE HEAVY METAL WEIGHTS TO YOUR ANKLES. A SPOTLIGHT TURNS ON IN FRONT OF YOU, REVEALING A DEEP, NARROW POOL OF WATER.

"What's happening?" YOU SAY. YOUR VOICE RINGS OVER THE SPEAKERS, "WHAT'S HAPPENING?" YOU SHOUT AGAIN. YOU REALISE THE CROWD IS LAUGHING AT YOU AGAIN.

"SAY IT WITH ME, EVERYONE!" THE ANNOUNCER SAYS.

THE CROWD SPEAKS WITH ANNOUNCER RHYTHMICALLY, "IF SHE SINKS, SHE'S WITCH, IF SHE FLOATS, SHE INNOCENT,"

THE MEN IN BLACK BEGIN TO TIP YOUR CHAIR.

"ONE!" THE ANNOUNCER SAYS.

"IF SHE'S SINK, SHE'S A WITCH, IF SHE FLOATS, SHE INNOCENT," THE CROWD CONTINUES.

"TWO!" THE ANNOUNCER SAYS.

"NO, NO, NO, WHAT'S HAPPENING?" YOU SAY GRIPPING ON THE SEAT OF THE WOODEN CHAIR.

"IF SHE'S SINK, SHE'S A WITCH, IF SHE FLOATS, SHE INNOCENT,"

"THREE!"

THE TWO MEN TIP THE CHAIR FULLY, PUSHING YOU OFF THE CHAIR AND PLUMETTING INTO THE WATER.

YOU SEE THE CROWD FOR THE FIRST TIME. ALL THEIR MOUTHS GRINNING WITH LAUGHTER. THEIR IDENTITIES OBSURED BY THE BURLAP SACK MASKS.

YOU SPOT ONLY ONE FACE WITHOUT A MASK. @Ms. Hazeltine RUNNING INTO THE TENT. SHE IS YELLING SOMETHING, BUT IT CAN'T BE HEARD OVER THE CROWD.

"WHAT'S HAPPENING? WHAT'S HAPPENING?" YOU THINK TO YOURSELF AS THE ENERGY SAPS OUT YOUR LIMBS.

AS YOUR EYES CLOSE, YOU REMAIN UNANSWERED.

THAT IS WHAT HAPPENED. THAT IS WHAT HAPPENED.

THANK YOU,
GROTTO G.S.M. INC.
WE CAN ALWAYS HEAR, SEE, TASTE, FEEL, AND/OR SMELL YOU™

HELLO AGAIN.

WE HAVE TOLD YOU MANY TIMES. WHY DO YOU KEEP FORGETTING?
YOU KICK UNDER THE WATER. YOU HEAR THEIR LAUGHTER ABOVE. HE IS STILL CRACKING JOKES. "What's happening? What's happening?" YOU THINK, AS YOU STRUGGLE TO MAINTAIN YOUR CONCIOUSNESS. WE ALREADY TOLD YOU. WE WILL SAY IT ONE MORE TIME.

IT WAS AN UNCOMFORTABLY WARM DAY. NOT HOT. JUST WARM. FLUFFY CLOUDS.

A FLIER WAS POSTED AROUND THE SCHOOL BY SOMEONE WE DON'T KNOW. IT READ: STUDENT QUESTIONING OF THE VANDALISER, 6 PM, PSYCHIC HIGH SCHOOL CENTER RECREATION FIELD. SHOW THE VANDALISER THE LIVES THEY DESTROYED.
WE DON'T KNOW WHO DECIDED THIS EVENT SHOULD GO ON, BUT IT DID.

YOU SIT IN THE WAITING ROOM OUTSIDE THE DEAN'S OFFICE. YOU COMPULSIVELY BOUNCE YOUR LEG, AS YOU PICK AT THE APOLSTRY ON THE WORN COUCH.

THE RECEPTIONIST COMES BACK TO HIS DESK AND SMILES AT YOU, "Sorry, hun, it'll be a little while longer. The dean's very busy today,"

YOU FORCE A SMILE AND NOD, BUT RETURN TO LOOKING DOWN AT THE COUCH. BENEATH THE VINYL-EY, LEATHER-EY COVERING, IS A GREEN CRUMBLY FOAM, A TESTEMENT TO THE COUCHES AGE.

"Can you move over?" SAYS A TALL GIRL WEARING DOC MARTENS AND A BAGGY SWEATSHIRT OVER LEGGINGS.

YOU LOOK UP AND MUMBLE APOLGIES TO MAKE ROOM FOR THE GIRL.
SHE PLOPS DOWN ONTO THE COACH AND RUMMAGES THROUGH HER BAG.

YOU WATCH FOR A MOMENT, BUT LOOK BACK DOWN TO THE COUCH. YOU FROWN. SHE IS SITTING WHERE THE COUCH IS TORN NOW.

"Here," SHE SAYS CASUALLY HOLDING OUT A CRUMBLED PIECE OF PAPER.

"Me?" YOU ASK, UNFORTUNATLY UNACCOMPAINED BY A ROUGH VOICE CRACK.

SHE ROLLS HER EYES, "Yeah, you,"

YOU CAUTIOUSLY TAKE THE PAPER. IT READ: You are Invited to Be BEHIND THE SCENES at Today's STUDENT QUESTIONING! This is position is voluntary, however, non-participation will result in explusion. Please arrive at 5:55 pm at the back entrance of the performance tent ,sponsered by GROTTO G.S.M. INC.,newly placed on the Center Recreation Field. Any tardiness will be accepted as non-participation. Thank you! Psychic High Student Activities Council for the Greater Good.

YOU TURN TO THE GIRL ON THE COUCH, "I, um, what is..."

"Maryn?" THE RECEPTIONIST CALLS. THE GIRL NODS AND THE RECEPTIONIST SMILES, "The Dean can see you now!" THE GIRL, MARYN, STANDS AND CLOMPS OVER INTO THE DEAN'S OFFICE.

YOU FROWN DEEPLY. YOU HOPE THAT THE RECEPTIONIST WILL SEE YOUR FROWN AND ASK YOU WHAT IS WRONG. THE RECEPTIONIST DOES NOT DO THIS.

YOUR EYES WANDER AROUND THE ROOM LOOKING FOR A SOLUTION, AS A BALL OF WORRY DEVELOPS IN YOUR CHEST. YOU EYES LAND ON THE CLOCK, "5:43".

YOU FROWN MORE, BUT CONVINCE YOURSELF TO STAND UP. YOU LOOK DOWN AT THE PAPER AND BACK AT THE CLOCK. YOU FROWN MORE AND LOOK AT THE RECEPTIONIST. THE RECEPTIONIST DOESN'T NOTICE.

"I guess I'll be going then," YOU CHOKE OUT.

"Oh already? I'll let the Dean know you stopped by," THE RECEPTIONIST DOES NOT LOOK UP FROM HIS COMPUTER AS HE SPEAKS TO YOU.

YOU FROWN MORE, "Alright, I guess I'll just come back tomorrow,"

"Alrighty then, I'll see you tomorrow then," THE RECEPTIONIST DOESN'T LOOK UP.

"Do you think the Dean can see me tomorrow?"

"Oh, I don't know, hun. He's been busy all week,"

YOU NOD.

"Okay, I guess I'll be going then,"

"Have a nice day. Maybe go check out that Student Questioning thing, sounds fun," THE RECEPTIONIST SAYS SQUINTING AT THE COMPUTER.

YOU PROCEED OUT THE BUILDING. WALKING AT A QUICK PACE, EVERY ONCE AND A WHILE LOOKING BACK DOWN AT THE NOTE FOR REFRENCE. AS YOU REACH THE TENT, YOU OBSERVE THE LINE AT THE FRONT ENTRANCE. IT IS A LONG LINE, MORE LONG THAN A COMMON LINE, BUT EVEN LESS COMMON, EACH PERSON IN THE LINE WEARS A BROWN BURLAP SACK OVER THEIR FACE WITH HOLES CUT FOR THEIR EYES AND MOUTH. THE PEOPLE CHAT IN LINE CAUSUALLY. THEY DON'T SEEM TO NOTICE THE MASKS.
AS YOU REACH THE BACK OF THE TENT, A SHORT PERSON WEARING A BURLAP SACK MASK HOLDING A CLIPBOARD SHOUTS, "C'mon, It's time to go!" YOU PICK UP YOUR PACE AND AS YOU GET CLOSER YOU SEE THEY ARE WEARING A HEAD SET OVER THE MASK. YOU THINK ABOUT LAUGHING, BUT DECIDE IT'S NOT YOUR PLACE.

"You need to get into hair and makeup," THEY SAY USHERING YOU INTO THE TENT. INSIDE THE TENT THE LIGHTING IS ORANGE AND DIM. BEHIND THE WALLED OFF STAGE, A GROUP OF PEOPLE ALSO WEARING THE MASK-HEADSET COMBO ARE RUSHING AROUND. YOU REALISE YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON NOT WEARING A MASK.

THE PERSON WITH THE CLIPBOARD LEADS YOU TO A WOMAN WITH HANDS ON HER HIPS AND AN APRON WITH MAKEUP BRUSHES IN IT'S POCKETS, "Oh, look who finally decided to show up!" THE MAKEUP WOMAN AND THE CLIPBOARD PERSON LAUGH AND GREET EACH OTHER WITH A KISS ON EACH OF THEIR BURLAPED CHEEKS.

"Here, dear, sit on this chair," THE MAKEUP WOMAN SAYS. YOU FACE A VANITY LIT WITH LITTLE GOLDEN BULBS. THE WOMAN PLAYS WITH YOU HAIR. YOU SEE HER FROWN. YOU PICK AT THE VINYL ON THE ARM RESTS OF THE CHAIR.

"A little short, isn't it?" SHE LEANS OVER TO THE VANITY AND GRABS A BOTTLE OF FOUNDATION, "I guess Nancy will handle it, let's deal with this face of yours,"

AS THE MAKEUP WOMAN SLATHERS MAKEUP ONTO YOUR FACE, YOU HEAR THE CROWD OF STUDENTS SHUFFLING INTO THE TENT.

"SIT STILL, DEAR," THE MAKEUP WOMAN SHOUTS, "I need to get this lash on you, it'll save this look."

A MUFFLED VOICE COMES ON OVER A MICROPHONE. YOU CAN'T WORK OUT WHAT THE VOICE SAYS, BUT THE CROWD IS HOLLERING AND CHEERING.

"OH GOD!" THE MAKEUP LADY SHOUTS, "You're a complete mess! What I am supposed to do with you?"

ANOTHER WOMAN, PRESUMABLY NANCY, CONSIDERING SHE HOLDS A CADDY OF HAIR TOOLS AND PRODUCTS, STRUTS OVER TO THE VANITY, "Now, Calm down, Kelly," NANCY PATS THE MAKEUP WOMAN ON THE BACK, "You did your best with what you are working with, you can't help a bad face,"

YOU FROWN.

"You shouldn't do that, dear, it'll give you wrinkles," NANCY SAYS.

"Well, I know, it just always upsets me when my work isn't up to par,"

"It's an impossible task, Kelly. You can't fix what is fundamentaly ugly!"

YOU FROWN MORE. NEITHER NOTICE THIS TIME.

"You're right, you're right. Thanks, Nance, you always cheer me up,"

"Of course, Kelly. Now go take a break, I am sure you need it," KELLY LAUGHS AND THE TWO WOMEN SWITCH PLACES.

"Oh goodness," NANCY GROANS LOOKING AT YOUR HAIR, "Well, you just have to be presentable, not perfect,"

YOU HEAR THE CROWD LAUGHING BEHIND THE STAGE. NANCY BRUSHES YOUR HAIR.

YOU BITE YOUR LIP AND WATCH AS NANCY SQUIRTS PRODUCT INTO YOUR HAIR. A CHIP OF VINYL FLAKES OFF THE CHAIR. YOU GLANCE DOWN AS MUCH AS YOU CAN WITHOUT TURNING YOUR HEAD. YELLOW FOAM, NOT GREEN.

AFTER MINUTES OF SILENCE, YOU MUSTER THE COURAGE TO SPEAK, "What exactly is this behind the scences experience?"

NANCY LAUGHS AND FLIPS ON A HAIR DRYER. YOU COMPUSLIVELY BOUNCE YOUR LEG.

THE CLIPBOARD PERSON RUSHES UP TO NANCY AFTER A WHILE OF HAIR DRYING.

"Don't tell me I need to be ready, Ash," NANCY SAYS FLIPPING OFF THE HAIR DRYER.

"I'm sorry, but the suspect needs to go on in two minutes. You need to finish the hair up,"

"Wait, I am going to be with the suspect?" YOU ASK. NEITHER PERSON REPLIES. "I don't really want to go up with the suspect, is there another person who could go up instead of me? I don't want to inconvience anyone..."

"Alright, I'll finish up," NANCY SIGHS, IGNORING YOU.

"Thanks," ASH SAYS WALKING OFF TOWARD THE STAGE.

"...but I don't think I really know enough about the case to make any judgement calls on the suspect. I mean, I haven't really done my research," YOU CONTINUE.

NANCY SCRUNCHES MOUSE INTO YOUR HAIR AND FROWNS IN THE MIRROR.

"I'll have to do. Alright, hop up, you gotta get on stage," NANCY WAVES YOU OFF THE CHAIR AND SCRATCHES HER NECK UNDER THE BURLAP MASK, "Go over to the stage entrance,"

YOU WALK SLOWLY TO THE STAGE ENTRANCE. AS YOU REACH IT, A MAN ALL IN BLACK HOOKS A MICROPHONE UP TO YOU. FROM HERE YOU CAN MAKE OUT WHAT IS BEING SAID ON STAGE.

"And now! The moment you've been waiting for!" THE ANNOUNCER SAYS, "The Student Questioning of the Subject!"

"Hold on, am I questioning the subject?" YOU ASK THE MAN IN BLACK. HE REPLIES BY PUSHING YOU UP THE RAMP TO THE STAGE. AS YOU STEP ON STAGE, YOU ARE BLINDED BY THE SPOTLIGHT. YOU HEAR BOOS.

"The suspect must be on stage now" YOU THINK. YOU LOOK TO THE OTHER SIDE OF STAGE. A MAN IN A SUIT WITH A BURLAP SACK MASK HOLDS THE MICROPHONE STANDS ONLY A PACE IN FRONT OF YOU. "He must be the announcer," YOU THINK. THE LIGHTS ARE TOO BRIGHT TO SEE PAST HIM.

HIS WIDE, WHITE TOOTHED GRIN SHINES THROUGH THE WHOLE IN HIS MASK, "Don't be shy!" HE SAYS BECKONING YOU TOWARDS HIM.

YOU WALK TOWARDS HIM. THE CROWD CONTINUES TO BOO.

"Quiet down, Everybody," HE SAYS SINGSONG. THE CROWD LAUGHS. HE CONTINUES TURNING TO YOU, "So, How are you feeling tonight?" THE ANNOUNCER ASKS, NOT DROPPING HIS SMILE.

"I don't know," YOU SAY. YOU HEAR YOUR VOICE ON THE SPEAKERS, "Where is the suspect?"

THE CROWD ROARS WITH LAUGHTER. YOU SMILE TO YOURSELF, COMFORTED BY THE POSTIVE RESPONSE.

"Ha ha, yeah, where is the suspect?" YOU SAY AGAIN THIS TIME WITH MORE PENASH. THE CROWD LAUGHS AGAIN. YOU SMILE.

YOU TURN TO THE CROWD, UNSEEABLE TO YOU, "Where's the supspect?"
THEIR LAUGHTER IS RISES IN VOLUME.

THE ANNOUNCER CHUCKES AND PATS YOU ON THE BACK.

"Now here at Psychic High, we may come from many backgrounds, but I think one thing unites all of us. We all strongly believe in tradition! Whether ghost or goblin, we truly appreciate that what has passed the test of time. With that said, we will know begin the questioning with a classic technique,"

THE ANNOUNCER TURNS BACK TO YOU AND MOTIONS YOU TO SIT ON A WOODEN CHAIR. YOU SMILE AND SIT DOWN.

"This approach was utilized at the beginning of this country to test who was a witch and who wasn't, " THE CROWD LAUGHS. YOU LAUGH, TOO, "And while it wasn't so great at that, It is great at showing who's a liar and who's good,"

YOU ZONE OUT, AS YOU SPOT THE MAN IN BLACK WALKING TOWARDS YOU, ACCOMPANIED BY ANOTHER MAN. BOTH DONNED THEIR BURLAP MASKES. THEY APPROACH YOU AND STAND AT EITHER SIDE OF YOU, AS THE ANNOUNCER CONTINUES TO SPEAK. THEY HOLD CHUNKS OF METAL ATTACHED TO A CHAIN IN THEIR HAND. YOU CAN HEAR THEIR HEAVY BREATHING UNDERNEATH THEIR MASKS. YOUR SMILE FADES.

"So suspect, how do you plead?" THE ANNOUNCER FINISHES. NO ONE REPLIES.

"So suspect, how do you plead?" THE ANNOUCER REPEATS.

YOUR STOMACH FLIP FLOPS, "What?"

THE CROWD ONCE AGAIN ROARS WITH LAUGHTER.

"Where's the suspect?" YOU SAY. YOUR VOICE CRACKS AGAIN THIS TIME. THE LAUGHTER OF THE CROWD ANSWERS YOUR QUESTION.

YOU LEAP TO STAND, BUT ARE MET WITH THE HANDS OF THE STAGE HANDS IN BLACK PUSHING YOU BACK INTO YOUR SEAT.

"That sound's like guilty to me!" THE ANNOUNCER SAYS GRINNING. THE CROWD LAUGHS.

THE TWO MEN LEAN DOWN ATTACHING THE HEAVY METAL WEIGHTS TO YOUR ANKLES. A SPOTLIGHT TURNS ON IN FRONT OF YOU, REVEALING A DEEP, NARROW POOL OF WATER.

"What's happening?" YOU SAY. YOUR VOICE RINGS OVER THE SPEAKERS, "WHAT'S HAPPENING?" YOU SHOUT AGAIN. YOU REALISE THE CROWD IS LAUGHING AT YOU AGAIN.

"SAY IT WITH ME, EVERYONE!" THE ANNOUNCER SAYS.

THE CROWD SPEAKS WITH ANNOUNCER RHYTHMICALLY, "IF SHE SINKS, SHE'S WITCH, IF SHE FLOATS, SHE INNOCENT,"

THE MEN IN BLACK BEGIN TO TIP YOUR CHAIR.

"ONE!" THE ANNOUNCER SAYS.

"IF SHE'S SINK, SHE'S A WITCH, IF SHE FLOATS, SHE INNOCENT," THE CROWD CONTINUES.

"TWO!" THE ANNOUNCER SAYS.

"NO, NO, NO, WHAT'S HAPPENING?" YOU SAY GRIPPING ON THE SEAT OF THE WOODEN CHAIR.

"IF SHE'S SINK, SHE'S A WITCH, IF SHE FLOATS, SHE INNOCENT,"

"THREE!"

THE TWO MEN TIP THE CHAIR FULLY, PUSHING YOU OFF THE CHAIR AND PLUMETTING INTO THE WATER.

YOU SEE THE CROWD FOR THE FIRST TIME. ALL THEIR MOUTHS GRINNING WITH LAUGHTER. THEIR IDENTITIES OBSURED BY THE BURLAP SACK MASKS.

YOU SPOT ONLY ONE FACE WITHOUT A MASK. @Ms. Hazeltine RUNNING INTO THE TENT. SHE IS YELLING SOMETHING, BUT IT CAN'T BE HEARD OVER THE CROWD.

"WHAT'S HAPPENING? WHAT'T HAPPENING?" YOU THINK TO YOURSELF AS THE ENERGY SAPS OUT YOUR LIMBS.

AS YOUR EYES CLOSE, YOU REMAIN UNANSWERED.

THAT IS WHAT HAPPENED. THAT IS WHAT HAPPENED.

THANK YOU,
GROTTO G.S.M. INC.
WE CAN ALWAYS HEAR, SEE, TASTE, FEEL, AND/OR SMELL YOU™

HELLO AGAIN.

WE HAVE TOLD YOU MANY TIMES. WHY DO YOU KEEP FORGETTING?
YOU SIT ON YOUR BED IN FRONT OF YOUR LAPTOP, GNAWING ON THE END OF YOU PEN. YOU WHISPER TO YOURSELF, "What happened? What happened?" YOU STARE BACK AT THE EMPTY WORD DOCUMENT. WE ALREADY TOLD YOU. WE WILL SAY IT ONE MORE TIME.

IT WAS AN UNCOMFORTABLY WARM DAY. NOT HOT. JUST WARM. FLUFFY CLOUDS.

A FLIER WAS POSTED AROUND THE SCHOOL BY SOMEONE WE DON'T KNOW. IT READ: PUBLIC QUESTIONING OF VANDALISM SUSPECT, 11:15 AM, PSYCHIC HIGH SCHOOL RIGHT RECREATION FIELD. COME QUESTION THE SUSPECT ON WHY THEY DECIDED TO DESTROY YOUR LIFE.
WE DON'T KNOW WHO DECIDED THIS EVENT SHOULD GO ON, BUT IT DID.

YOU SIT AT YOUR DESK AT THE PSYTIMES, ONE OF PSYCHIC HIGH'S SEVERAL NEWSPAPERS. YOU STARE INTO THE ABYSS OF THE BLANK WORD DOCUMENT AND IT STARES BACK. YOU CHEW ON THE END OF YOUR PEN. YOU GLANCE AT THE FLYER FOR THE QUESTIONING ON YOUR DESK

"You gonna have that story for me?" YOUR EDITOR, JENNIFER SAYS, DROPPING A STACK OF PAPERS TO COPY EDIT ONTO THE DESK.

YOU SLAM YOUR LAPTOP SHUT AND STAND, "Yep! Definitely! Just gotta clear my head, might go to that suspect questioning,"

JENNIFER RAISES HER EYEBROW, "Might I remind you that this is your last chance with the paper and if you..."

YOU INTERRUPT, "Don't worry, I am going to get it in by noon,"

JENNIFER SHAKES HER HEAD, "Good luck then,"

"Definitely!" YOU SHOUT AS YOU HEAD OUT THE DOOR.

"And get those edits done!" SHE SAYS, AS YOU EXIT.

YOU WALK OUT THE BUILDING WITH YOUR HANDS IN YOUR POCKET. ONCE AT SUFFICIENT DISTANCE FROM JENNIFER'S PRYING EYES, YOU LEAN INTO A LAMP POST, LIGHT YOUR GABORIAN CIGARETTE AND TAKE A LONG DRAWL.

YOU HEAR THEM BEFORE YOU SEE THEM.

"We are not terrorizers, save the vandalizer! We are not terrorizers, save the vandalizer!
We are not terrorizers, save the vandalizer!" A CROWD OF STUDENTS CHANT.

OVER THE HORIZON, YOU SEE THEIR PROTEST SIGNS POKING UP. ONE READS, "Protect the Psychic High Vandal! End Police Brutality!". YOU TAKE ANOTHER DRAW FROM YOUR CIGARETTE AND WALK TO GET CLOSER TO THE ACTION. TWO POLICE OFFICERS ARE ESCORTING THE SUSPECT WITH A BURLAP SACK OVER THEIR FACE. THE PROTESTERS SWARM THEM AND A MULTITUDE OF OTHER COPS PUSH THEM AWAY.

AS THE GROUP PASSED BY, YOU GRAB THE SHOULDER OF A PROTESTER WITH CURLY BLACK HAIR.

"Hey, what's going on here?" YOU ASK MOTIONING AT THE CROWD.

"Are you smoking? This is a high school, you know," HE SAYS.

"What's with the protesting?"

"We are trying to stop this questioning thing. It looks like it is going to be more of a public execution than a Q&A sesh,"

"Really?" YOU PULL OUT YOU PHONE TO TAKE NOTES.

"Yeah, the suspect may have vandalized buildings on campus, but they deserve human rights,"

"Can I quote you on that?"

"Sure," YOU WRITE DOWN THE STUDENT'S NAME, "And you really shouldn't smoke, it causes cancer," THE PROTESTER WALKS BACK TO THE CROWD. YOU SLOWLY FOLLOW BEHIND.

THE CROWD FOLLOWS INTO THE RIGHT RECREATION FIELD. A STAGE IS BUILT IN THE MIDDLE OF IT. IT IS FULL OF STUDENTS, AS IS TYPICAL, BUT THE FRISBEE PLAYERS AND LOUNGERS HAVE PAUSED. ALL STARING IN BEWILDERMENT AT THE SUSPECT BEING DRAGGED ON STAGE.

THE PROTESTERS GATHER IN THE PLACE AN AUDIENCE WAS INTENDED.

"We are not terrorizers, save the vandalizer! We are not terrorizers, save the vandalizer!
We are not terrorizers, save the vandalizer!" THE PROTESTERS CHANT.

YOU JOIN AT THE EDGE OF THE CROWD, TAKING NOTES. AN OFFICER BEGINS TO SPEAK ON A BULLHORN.
"Do we have any questions?"

"We are not terrorizers, save the vandalizer! We are not terrorizers, save the vandalizer!
We are not terrorizers, save the vandalizer!"

"DO YOU WE HAVE ANY QUESTIONS?"

"We are not terrorizers, save the vandalizer!"

"Well if you don't have any questions, we can move onto our finale! De-Materialization of the Suspect!"

THE PROTESTERS FLY INTO A FLURRY. YOU ARE KNOCKED INTO THE CROWD. YOUR CIGARETTE FALLS OUT OF YOUR MOUTH. YOU SWEAR AND LEAN TO PICK IT UP. YOU AREN'T A LITTER, AFTER ALL.
PROTESTERS BUMP INTO YOU FROM BEHIND.

"God! Give a guy a little space!" You groan.

SUDDENLY, YOU HEAR A SCREAM FROM THE FRONT OF THE CROWD. STUDENTS FROM AROUND THE FIELD CONVERGE KNOCKING YOU ONTO YOUR BACK.

"Christ!" YOU YELL, AS STUDENTS WALK ON AND AROUND YOU. THEY
DON'T HEAR YOU. THEIR ATTENTION IS AFFIXED TO THE STAGE.

"What's happening, you idiots?" YOU YELL.

ANOTHER SCREAM, THIS TIME FROM THE BACK OF THE CROWD. THIS SCREAM IS LIKE THE TRIGGER OF GUN. THE STUDENTS START RUNNING, NO, MORE LIKE STAMPEDING TOWARD THE STAGE.

"WHAT'S HAPPENING, YOU DUMBA..." IS THE LAST THING YOU SCREAM BEFORE A PERFECTLY MISPLACED FOOT STOMPS YOUR HEAD.

YOU AWAKE TO @Ms. Hazeltine PEERING OVER YOU WITH A FROWN, "Are you okay?".

YOU GROAN AND RUB YOUR FOREHEAD, "What happened?" .

"The paramedics say you passed out, because someone stomped your head accidentally. They say you should be fine, but you should check with the school nurse to see if you have a concussion. They are a bit understaffed,"
YOU DID HAVE A CONCUSSION, BUT YOU DIDN'T CHECK WITH THE SCHOOL NURSE.

YOU CHECK YOUR WATCH
"God damn it", IT WAS 1:00 PM, "I didn't write the stupid piece,"

MS. HAZELTINE FURROWS HER BROW, "Do you know what happened here?"

"No, I don't," YOU SAY, STUMBLING TO YOUR FEET. YOU GROANED AND LOOK AROUND AT THE FIELD OF STUDENTS BEING TREATED BY PARAMEDICS. THE STAGE IS EMPTY. YOU SHAKE YOUR HEAD AND TAKE OFF RUNNING TO THE PSYTIMES BUILDING.

"ARE YOU SURE?" MS. HAZELTINE SHOUTS.

YOU IGNORE HER AND LIGHT ANOTHER GABORIAN CIGARETTE.

THAT IS WHAT HAPPENED. THAT IS WHAT HAPPENED.

THANK YOU,
GROTTO G.S.M. INC.
WE CAN ALWAYS HEAR, SEE, TASTE, FEEL, AND/OR SMELL YOU™

HELLO AGAIN.

WE HAVE TOLD YOU MANY TIMES. WHY DO YOU KEEP FORGETTING?
YOU SIT IN YOUR ROOM, WHISPERING TO YOURSELF, "What happened? What happened?". WE ALREADY TOLD YOU. WE WILL SAY IT ONE MORE TIME.

IT WAS AN UNCOMFORTABLY WARM DAY. NOT HOT. JUST WARM. FLUFFY CLOUDS.

A FLIER WAS POSTED AROUND THE SCHOOL BY SOMEONE WE DON'T KNOW. IT READ: PUBLIC QUESTIONING OF VANDALISM SUSPECT, 2:15 PM, PSYCHIC HIGH SCHOOL LEFT RECREATION FIELD. COME ASK THE SUSPECT WHY THEY DECIDED TO DESTROY YOUR CAMPUS.
WE DON'T KNOW WHO DECIDED THIS EVENT SHOULD GO ON, BUT IT DID.

YOU WERE SITTING IN YOUR ROOM STARING OUT AT LEFT RECREATION FIELD. 1:50 PM. THE FIELD WAS EMPTY AS ALWAYS.

"I doubt it is actually going to happen," YOUR ROOMMATE , JENNIFER, SAID GLANCING OVER YOUR SHOULDER, "It's probably an April Fools Prank,"

"In March?" YOU ASKED.

"I don't know probably. I'm going to the gym, do you want to come?"

THE NOISE YOU ARE HEARING GETS LOUDER. NO ONE ELSE IS HEARING IT. YOU ALREADY CHECKED. IT'S A THUMP, THUMP, THUMP IN YOUR EARS. IT HAS BEEN GETTING LOUDER AND LOUDER SINCE YOU FIRST HEARD IT IN THE MORNING.
YOU TURN TO REPLY TO HER, BUT REALIZE SHE'S ALREADY LEFT.

THUMP THUMP THUMP

YOU SQUINT IN THE SUN. YOU WERE ON THE STEPS FACING OUT TO THE LEFT RECREATION FIELD. "I must have walked here" YOU THINK. YOU MUST HAVE, RIGHT?

THUMP THUMP THUMP

YOU WERE STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE LEFT RECREATION FIELD. YOU FELT A BIT DIZZY. YOU TURNED TOWARDS THE NOISE. THEY WERE HEARD BEFORE THEY WERE SEEN.
SCREAMING. YELLING. CHANTING. SHOUTING. ANGER. ANGER. YOU SWALLOWED, BUT YOUR MOUTH WAS DRY. YOU TIPPED YOUR HEAD UP TO THE SKY AND SEE PRETTY, FLUFFY WHITE CLOUDS.

THUMP THUMP THUMP
YOU WERE DIZZY. A MOB OF STUDENTS COMING OVER THE HORIZON. THE SUSPECT IS BEING GUARDED BY TWO APATHETIC POLICE OFFICERS. THEY DON'T STOP THE TAUNTS AND JABS FROM THE CROWD. YOU WERE DIZZY.

THUMPTHUMPTHUMP
DIZZY. BUMPED INTO A BOY. A SCOWL. MORE YELLING. THE CROWD CHANTS. THE POLICE OFFICERS SMIRK.

THUMPTHUMPTHUMP
DIZZY. DIZZY. DIZZY. "YOU DESTROYED US! YOU DESTROYED US!" LEERED IN. LOOKED UP. FLUFFY, FLUFFY, WHITE CLOUDS. THUMPTHUMPTHUMP
DIZZY. THEY RUSHED FORWARD, YOU ARE PULLED FORWARD WITH THE CROWD. DIZZY. THEY MOTIONED AT THE SUSPECT. DIZZY.
"What is happening?" YOU WHISPERED. THE CROWD WAS PUSHING, PULSING, PULLING. YOU ARE PUSHED TO THE FRONT OF THE CROWD. THE SUSPECT HAS NO FACE, JUST A BURLAP SACK OVER THEIR HEAD. THUMPTHUMPTHUMP DIZZY. THIS FIRST ARM BATTE AT THE SUSPECT. THE NEXT HIT A LITTLE HARDER. "WHAT'S HAPPENING?" YOU YELLED. THUMPTHUMP GRABBING, THUMP, RIP OF THEIR SLEEVE THUMPTHUMP THUMP NO FACE, JUST BURLAP SACK THUMPTHUMPTHUMP "WHAT'S GOING ON!" YOU SCREAMED PUSHING BACK AWAY FROM THE SUSPECT. THUMPTHUMPTHUMP YOU FELL OVER. THUMPTHUMP PEOPLE STEPPED OVER YOU AND ON YOU THUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMP
LOUD LOUD LOUD DIZZY DIZZY DIZZY THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP
THUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMP THUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMPTHUMP



SILENCE.


"Are you okay?" @Ms. Hazeltine PEERS OVER YOU. A STRETCHER PULLS AWAY TO AN AMBULANCE. THE FIELD IS EMPTY.
"What happened?" YOU WHISPER. MS. HAZELTIME WAVES A PARAMEDIC OVER. THEY CHECK YOUR VITALS, THEN FOR A CONCUSSION. YOU HAVE ONE. MS HAZELTINE FROWNS, "Do you know what happened here?"
YOU LOOK INTO HER EYES, "no,".

THAT IS WHAT HAPPENED. THAT IS WHAT HAPPENED.

THANK YOU,
GROTTO G.S.M. INC.
WE CAN ALWAYS HEAR, SEE, TASTE, FEEL, AND/OR SMELL YOU™

HELLO EVERYONE,

WE HAVE APPREHENDED A SUSPECT FOR THE CASES OF VANDALISM THAT HAVE BEEN OCCURRING ACROSS THE CAMPUS. BASED ON THE GATHER EVIDENCE, THIS SUSPECT IS RESPONSIBLE FOR UP TO 30 CASES OF VANDALISM ON CAMPUS.

WE ARE WORKING WITH LOCAL POLICE. AS THIS IS AN ACTIVE INVESTIGATION, WE WILL NOT BE RELEASING THE NAME OF THE SUSPECT UNTIL WE HAVE BEEN APPROVED TO BY LOCAL AUTHORITIES.

WE CAN, HOWEVER, ANNOUNCE THAT THE SUSPECT IS THOUGHT TO BE THE LEADER OF A RING OF VANDALISM. IF YOU SEE ANY SUSPICIOUS BEHAVIOR, CONTINUE TO REPORT IT. YOUR EFFORTS ARE ESSENTIAL.

WHILE THE STUDENT CENTER HAS UNFORTUNATELY BEEN DEMOLISHED, INTEGRATIONS OF THE SUSPECT WILL HOPEFULLY TURN UP CLEANING TIPS FOR THE DARK TEMPLE AND FLOATING AMPHITHEATERS.

REMEMBER, IT IS BETTER TO REPORT SOMETHING INNOCENT, THAN TO LET A CRIMINAL GO.

THANK YOU,
GROTTO G.S.M. INC.
WE CAN ALWAYS HEAR, SEE, TASTE, FEEL, AND/OR SMELL YOU™

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AUTOMATED STUDENT VANDALISM TIP LINE ENTRY #4:
STUDENT (Optional):
SUBJECT: lmao
TIP: do y'all remember when grotto g.s.m. kept posting ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| and we were all like what the heck, guys? and then they were like ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||| and all corrupt and censorshipy and stuff? lmao so glad those days are over!!

AUTOMATED STUDENT VANDALISM TIP LINE ENTRY #4:
STUDENT (Optional): Jeff
SUBJECT: This Isn't Right
TIP: I want to preserve the Student Center and other buildings as much as anyone else, but this isn't right! Students and teachers are reporting each other for suspicious behavior left and right. My roommate, Jimmy Andrews, was reported last week and I haven't seen him since. If you have any information on Jimmy, please contact me.

AUTOMATED STUDENT VANDALISM TIP LINE ENTRY #4:
STUDENT (Optional): Anna Perez (555)-555-5555
SUBJECT: mid century modern nightstand $350
TIP: beautiful oak nightstand, lightly used, price negotiable, delivery available,
just to let you know it is haunted but she only killed my cat, matching dresser and lamp available, call me at (555)-555-5555, if you are interested.

AUTOMATED STUDENT VANDALISM TIP LINE ENTRY #4:
STUDENT (Optional):
SUBJECT:
TIP: y'all are over reacting. the buildings are not being demolished anymore. why is jeff freaking out all the time? like pipe down buddy, it is literally not a big deal. just because someone reported your ratty roommate doesn't mean that's why he's gone. isn't jimmy a known pixie dust dealer? no one else is freaking out, jeff needs to chill out.

AUTOMATED STUDENT VANDALISM TIP LINE ENTRY #4:
STUDENT (Optional):
SUBJECT:
TIP: I am almost a hundred percent sure that the vandals are from the Sea Monster Student Union. I mean, who can have those slimy gills and also be innocent?

AUTOMATED STUDENT VANDALISM TIP LINE ENTRY #4:
STUDENT (Optional): chad w.
SUBJECT: house party
TIP: next week at chad c.'s house there will be a sick house party, entry is $10 per person or some booze. let's get this bread!

AUTOMATED STUDENT VANDALISM TIP LINE ENTRY #4:
STUDENT (Optional):
SUBJECT:
TIP: @Level 9 Bouncy House is definitely not the vandal. Why would they hurt a psychic balloon? I don't know who it is, but it couldn't be @Level 9 Bouncy House .

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