Tanya Skrrt, Interstellar Canning Intelligence Authority (ICIA)

Your sector is now under a Surveillance Level III (SL3) alert. This is nothing to be concerned about.

Illegal Canning Distribution (ICD) has been reported in your area. Agents will be exploring all cabinets, pantries, basements, larders, root cellars, garages, under beds, in closets, trunks of cars, etc., for Illicit Jars of Containment (IJOC). However, it's unlikely you will notice them, as our agents are invisible and move like ghosts (GHSTS). Perhaps a cabinet door will swing open on its own, or you'll hear something go thump in the basement, but these are rare occurrences.

If you are unsatisfied in any way with your visitation by our agents, please contact us via this bulletin board with your Accompanying Proxy Mantra (APM).