The monkeys' transformation was slow but steady. The initial euphoria of the pickle tasting was soon replaced by a period of thoughtful reflection, as each of the test subjects settled in for the ride. Each one had ice water in an Owala Free Sip placed in the cup holder of their recliner, and these were kept fresh for as long as it was safe to enter the container. However, they began to neglect their water bottles and, as the pickles dwindled, they took to drinking the pickle juice instead, some going so far as to dumping their water out and replacing it with the pickle juice.

After 10 days, the monkeys became unresponsive when their names were called, and began to fail significantly on cognitive tests. They still showed great interest in the pickles, and moved at remarkable speeds between their recliners and the feeding station each time new pickles were provided. By this time, the monkeys began to take on the dessicated, mummified look which gives the syndrome its name.

On day 13, the monkeys disarmed the cameras within the container, and have since been unresponsive to audio contact.

I rented a dozen monkeys to test @Dale Purdy’s pickles on. They’re all professionals. They came in their own container, with built-in recliners and a composting toilet. The only thing you need to bring in are food and water. And pickles. Lots of pickles.