Field Status Report: Fruit & Pepper Canning Festival

Undercover Agent 9, recording.

The GHSTS were right! This IS the central hub of a major ICD network. All the big players are here, and what it is amounts to a creepy swap meet, crowded with preservation enthusiasts, old church ladies, and strangers attracted by the hubbub.

I recognized Target Alpha. As I cautiously approached, a bottle containing Temporal Eddie fell from their table and broke, momentarily reversing time and then unbreaking and unfalling back up onto the table, where it was gently secured by a vendor. I noticed Harmonic Eddie in the crowd, taunting the vendor with his harmonica.

Also available for purchase are the Pickles of Interest, which I have been standing in line for for over an hour. I'm nearing the front of the line, but, what's this? There seems to be an altercation...

"Arrrrrgh! Get it off me!"

"HELP!!! HELP!!!"

"SNNNNARRRRRL! HOWWWWWWWL! HISSSSSSSS!"

Apparently we are being overrun by a troop of mummified monkeys. Incredibly fast mummified monkeys.

Signing off. Lock this sector down for quarantine immediately--

*click*