Grant Warren

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Reality Abroad 2022
8/3/2022 11:03pm

I’ve been initiated into the Hall of the New Apes. That’s what the Canadians are calling themselves. They have a cave underneath the radioactive garbage mounds where they meet. It's like a secret union or a fraternal organization, but they accept anybody from the press gang crews, even if you're not technically a New Ape.

Down in the cave it's safe to take off our hazmat suits, and there you can see that the New Apes are completely covered with fur. And they're all about 7 or 8 feet tall. No tusks though, just big teeth, to go with their big hands and feet. And they've got a pretty musky smell. I guess things are pretty different in Canada.

They say that they are a parallel species to homosapiens that was almost driven to extinction, but now that the homosapiens have almost destroyed the planet, they are emerging from their caves and planning to take control.

They also say we're ALL New Apes -- anyone who is oppressed by the homosapiens -- and that's why they accept anybody into the Hall of the New Apes. It's a really inclusive message, and they apologized for hitting me and taking my food rations earlier. That's just part of their tradecraft in terms of keeping their organization secret.

Apparently this cave is just one of thousands across the Inland Empire and the other brutal fiefdoms, and they're all connected through tunnels and an ingenious underground rail transportation system. Their capital is under Mount Shasta, where they're sending me for further training to do my part for the revolution.

Reality Abroad 2022
7/21/2022 9:58pm

Working the radioactive garbage mounds is hard work. But they incentivize it in really fun ways, like for every wheelbarrow you bring in you get a nickel (a New Inland Empire nickel, which is usually a bottlecap, or a rusty screw). And if you get enough nickels you can trade them in for a slightly less used filter for your mask. But you only actually get the nickel if there's something interesting in your wheelbarrow, otherwise they kick it over and laugh at you.

My co-workers have their own incentivization systems, like you're incentivized to share your food ration with the bigger co-workers, because if you don't they take it anyway and it hurts. Those co-workers are extra big, and seems like they are covered with fur even under hazmat suits, and may have small tusks. They have strange accents. I think they might be Canadian.

Reality Abroad 2022
7/9/2022 6:57pm

Uh oh! Big mixup at the work crew round up. I got separated from my homestay parents and got rounded up.

“Hey! Don’t you know who I am? I’m an exchange student from Psychic High School! You don’t want to mess with—OOOOOF”

And got a kick in the stomach!

So I stuffed myself into a leaky old hazmat suit and joined the press gang.

Don’t we have little transmitters or something injected in us before we go in these trips? Wasn’t that one of the shots? You can come get me, right?

Reality Abroad 2022
7/1/2022 11:10pm

My homestay family is an upper class family in the Inland Empire, alternate future 699b-gamma. They manage all the radioactive garbage mounds around the Tri-cities, keeping the trade moving.

I've got my own room next to the water recycler in their bunker. Tomorrow's a work crew roundup and they're taking me along to see how it's done. Can't wait!